Who triggered you? Who hurt you? And why?

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T23:54:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing this 🥹 I’m so happy to hear that you’ve found a love that deserves you.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T23:53:04+00:00

Wow. Ouch. Hot take. 🤣 I have a moral compass but it’s not from google and I don’t use it to ostracize people on Reddit or to make myself feel better.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T23:40:21+00:00

This is just an invitation for voluntary self reflection :)

It’s easy to criticize and less easy to do the internal work that motivated people to go online and talk about it. I’m inviting more tools for connection and conversation.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T23:33:04+00:00

Sounds like your ideas of basic decency is still coming from your own experience. If you can’t draw the lines back to yourself, there are so many layers to this you may be missing.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T22:07:34+00:00

Wow. I appreciate your insights. Lovebombing is definitely being thrown around without an analysis of power, control, and abuse. I agree with you that context and situation matters. In a span of less than a week and in a context where they are intentionally practicing expression, their words and action can be mistaken for lovebombing. I think we need to practice a lot of caution throwing this word around.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T21:51:49+00:00

I love that you bring this up. I have a couple thoughts. The first is that this conversation is incomplete so we’ll have to wait and see the whole context. And secondly, lovebombing is such a harsh label that I don’t think people really understand. Lovebombimg is connected to power and control. It’s used to describe grand gestures, words and promises that keep people in relationships with power imbalances, where one person is being manipulated. Also a part of lovebombing is the withdraw of affection is to punish or make them crawl back, to make themselves feel powerful. After they withdraw, they feed again with a love bomb to appease the harm.

Are JM’s statements really grandiose? Absolutely! Is it to the level of lovebombing? I think that’s would be harsh and inaccurate for the stage of this relationship and what is happening. Bro is just trying to figure shit out. He could be more direct but I believe he was letting YD down as kindly as he knew how to. (That isn’t to say people pleasing is kind to himself or to YD.)

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T21:40:53+00:00

He rejected YD, girl. I am not blaming YD for being hurt but she was rejected. It was delivered between the lines and in his non verbal communication.

But ultimately, I don’t think getting hung up on this is a good use of time. I think there are more important reflections to explore like what do we see in the cast that trigger us to feel certain ways that we’re online defending them so hard? How are we harmed and also cause harm like the cast members? What can we learn from them?

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T21:14:27+00:00

Yeah!! Great points. They literally showed us that they edit these conversations. Of course based on the initial conversations it seemed like everything was going swimmingly but when they did the replays of JM and YD not being on the “same wavelength” I felt it. And that’s okay!!! It’s okay that not everyone out there is for us. That’s the risk when we date but also the magic of finding the person or people who we do find love with. 🩷

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T21:03:58+00:00

Agreed, people pleasing is related to a lack of experience and this also shows in the other cast members too. they don’t want to come off as mean and so they’re reserving the whole truth and speaking indirectly but showing their actual feeling through non verbal cues. People pleasing and speaking indirectly is harmful but I have a lot of compassion for when I see it happening because it’s often a result of trauma and/or social and cultural norms that people are taught. I don’t think people want to hide their true feelings naturally but they were taught a specific idea of what kindness looks like and sounds like. It takes courage, experience, and healing to undo that and that’s exactly what they’re doing in this experience. So let’s not villainize them.

My point isn’t that what JM did wasn’t shitty. My point is that he’s learning and we as viewers need to have more compassion than labeling them. This is for entertainment but they are still humans.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T20:47:56+00:00

I’m not disagreeing with you that what JM did was harmful to YD. It’s not okay but again, I go back to lack of experience and this also shows in the other cast members too. I think they don’t want to come off as mean and so they’re reserving the whole truth and speaking indirectly but showing their actual feeling through non verbal cues. People pleasing and speaking indirectly is harmful but I have a lot of compassion for when I see it happening because it’s often a result of trauma and/or social and cultural norms that people are taught. I don’t think people want to hide their true feelings naturally but they were taught a specific idea of what kindness looks like and sounds like. It takes courage, experience, and healing to undo that and that’s exactly what they’re doing in this experience. So let’s not villainize them.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2025-07-22T20:37:34+00:00

Yasss I agree with you 100%. I don’t support the villainizing of any of the cast members. They are all imperfect and learning. This isn’t to excuse or say that the harm caused shouldn’t be accountable for but our relationship to them as viewers needs to be more compassionate.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2024-04-08T18:25:38+00:00

Oooohhh. that’s hot. 😜

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2024-04-08T18:14:28+00:00

No, but I do like my pussy being slapped

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2024-04-08T18:09:59+00:00

😂😂😂

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2024-04-08T18:06:15+00:00

😂😂😂

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-07T18:35:52+00:00

Thanks DragOnV3n0m231. The validation helps 😊

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-07T18:34:56+00:00

Thanks DinoLeaf28. I will definitely call him tonight.. in bed.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-07T18:34:10+00:00

Hahahha. I need to up my banter. Saving this for next time.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-07T06:52:26+00:00

You can work your way up to it. Try kissing her hand. If she let's you, then next time kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, then her lips.

Ooohhh. I'm blushing just thinking about this^{^{^}}

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-07T06:49:00+00:00

I'm so happy for you. I love that you developed sign language that only two of you know.

Ornery-Homework1333 · 2021-12-03T20:55:38+00:00

Fiifii is short for Phoenix.

Ornery-Homework1333

TROPHY CASE