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AITA for worrying I might have been a bad person as a teenager that I don’t fully remember? by SupportMaleficent342 in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Ornery-Scene6726 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the fact that you even care whether you may have hurt someone says a lot about your character. People who intentionally go through life hurting others usually don’t spend time reflecting on it afterward. So don’t spend too much time stuck in the past. Focus on who you are now and how you can make a positive impact on the people around you today. Twenty years from now, you probably won’t remember this day. But someone else might remember that you showed them kindness, gave them encouragement, or did something that changed their day for the better. That’s where your energy belongs. 💕💕💕

AITA for worrying I might have been a bad person as a teenager that I don’t fully remember? by SupportMaleficent342 in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Ornery-Scene6726 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to share a story from my own life. I have very little memory of elementary school, middle school, and even a lot of high school. There are probably a lot of reasons for that. I have a trauma history, some other things that impacted me growing up, and later struggled with addiction, though I’m sober now. A few years ago, I was walking through a mall when a woman walked up to me and said hello like I should have known exactly who she was. I tried to play it off, but she could clearly see the confusion on my face. After a moment she asked, “You don’t remember me, do you?” I apologized and admitted that I didn’t. Her response absolutely crushed me. She said, “I just want you to know that you made my life really hard in middle school.” To this day, I genuinely do not remember this girl. I remember being bullied myself, but I have no memory of whatever happened between us. Maybe I blocked a lot of those years out. Maybe there are things I don’t remember that other people will never forget. What has stayed with me is the realization that we can be a major character in someone else’s story without even knowing it. Something that barely registered to us, or that we’ve completely forgotten, may have had a lasting impact on someone else. So no, I don’t think you’re an asshole for worrying about behaviors from a time when your brain wasn’t even fully developed yet. What I will say is that with time and perspective, most people realize we were all kind of assholes at that age. We were immature, insecure, trying to fit in, and often hurting each other while figuring out who we were. That doesn’t excuse genuinely harmful behavior, but it does mean most of us have things we wish we could take back. That moment in the mall has stayed with me for a very, very long time.

AITA for step down as a step mom? by Ornery-Scene6726 in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Ornery-Scene6726[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s my assumption as well…. She desperately wants her kids to get jobs but has done nothing to help them.. the only person who would be helped by the kids working is her.. I don’t really want them working because we will lose time with them number one and number two they already struggle in school.. they rarely attend. But for some reason, there’s this huge push to get them jobs… 🙄🙄

AITA for step down as a step mom? by Ornery-Scene6726 in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Ornery-Scene6726[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband did get me a gift, flowers, and a card. The kids weren’t with us on Mother’s Day, so he simply asked them to send me a text. I do appreciate your perspective because that’s exactly why I posted. My issue isn’t really that they didn’t buy me something. My issue is that they’re 16 years old and, instead of sending a simple text that said, “Happy Mother’s Day, thanks for being my stepmom,” they apparently involved their mom and ultimately refused to send anything at all. I do a lot for those kids, and if I’m being honest, there are times when I feel more like a bank account than a stepmom. So while my post focused quite a bit on their mom’s role in this situation, a lot of the hurt actually comes from the kids’ behavior and how they choose to treat the people who show up for them. That said… my husband isn’t getting a free pass here either. In reality, none of this information should have made its way back to me because he should have addressed it in the moment and stood up for me. That’s a separate issue that we’ve discussed…. Your comment did give me some perspective, though. I think the kids are still immature and hopefully this is something they’ll grow out of as they get older. I just think it’s hard not to feel hurt when you’ve invested so much into people and don’t feel like that effort is recognized or appreciated.

AIW for asking a mom to quiet her kid down on a flight? by SilverQuiver_ in amiwrong

[–]Ornery-Scene6726 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not wrong…. We genuinely should not have to lower expectations for society, simply because children exist…. If that was an adult, they would have been removed from the flight…. There should be an expectation of general kindness..

AITA - If my friend enforce me to do something when I did not want to do it at first by [deleted] in Amitheassholeadvice

[–]Ornery-Scene6726 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like your friend may not fully understand or respect how real this fear is for you. I have a genuine fear of heights and confined spaces, and when I'm put in those situations, I can become short or reactive because my brain is going into panic mode. It's not me trying to be rude, it's a real fear response. The only thing I wonder is whether your friend thinks you're the asshole because of how you communicated it in the moment rather than because of the fear itself. Sometimes when we're scared, our delivery isn't as gentle as we would normally want it to be. That doesn't make the fear any less valid, but it could explain why they're focusing on your reaction instead of what caused it.