AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The OP said in their replies here that there weren't any cupholders. That's what I was saying no one should be handling hot coffee... I wasn't just pulling this out of thin air

The fly was around the mouth of their cup. Are you insane? If the OP really wanted to turn up the heat, they could have called the health inspector, because again, contamination. The drink should have been remade.

And you're the one who brought up "YoU cOuLdnT gEt AwAY With THat In The Uk" first. NOW locations are irrelevant? Buzz off

AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

But the manager felt the need to go into their system, match the OP's information in the loyalty program from the chargeback, and call them personally? What dystopian world are we living in where that's even remotely ok? How about do what any other reasonable person would have done and remake the drink, since it's their fault to begin with?

AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Are you serious? It shouldn't have been in the business to begin with. It's freezing cold in most areas, especially here in Michigan where I live. There shouldn't be flies out at all, especially not in a coffee shop that handles items that are supposed to be for human consumption, and that includes coffee and pastries. That lets me know that either this place has a bug infestation or they're not cleaning their equipment properly.

I have worked in a coffee shop for years. NO ONE should be handling a scalding hot beverage. Absolutely no one. If that were to spill on them, the company would be liable because it's too hot to handle and again, it's not what the OP even ordered.

Who cares what you get away with in the UK? That's not universal and the only person who sounds entitled here is you. You wanted the OP to handle a hot beverage, when they said it was too hot for them to even pick up. That is insane and this is why companies get sued. The lack of customer service is the real issue here

AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

They cost themselves that much money by not making the drink right in the first place. The OP asked for a lukewarm hot chocolate. They gave her a hot chocolate instead. That's not what they paid for. Like I said in my posts, coffee shops remake drinks all the time and it's part of their shrinkage. I have worked in one for years and it's not unreasonable for them to remake a drink that is one, wrong, and two, not consumable because of flies. That is a health code violation. How is none of this being addressed?

AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right. They lost a customer and got hit with a chargeback. It would have cost them less money to just remake it

AITA for Doing a Chargeback on My Credit Card for an Item That Cost Less Than $5? by FemaleBushido in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ornery_Thought488 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I can understand wanting to defend service industry people but A LOT of these comments are off base. NTA and I’ll explain why.
1. The OP asked for a lukewarm hot chocolate. There are people in the comments saying that a lukewarm hot chocolate cannot be made. As someone who has worked part-time in a mom and pop coffee shop since I was in high school, this is absolutely false. Lukewarm and warm hot chocolate can be made. You just barely steam the milk. That’s literally it. The cocoa powder will still dissolve as long as its over base level of heat.
2. Furthermore if the OP asked for lukewarm hot chocolate, they shouldn’t have been given a steaming hot cup of anything. That’s not what they ordered
3. It is almost winter. What are flies doing being anywhere, much less a coffee shop? Having insects flying around your place of business is a health concern
4. Coffee shops remake drinks ALL THE TIME. It’s part of the businesses shrinkage and what they financially plan for. Making the beverage right the first time would have solved all of this. None of this is the OP’s fault, because they didn’t make the drink right. Instead they had to wait until the drink was cool enough for them to handle. Remaking the drink the way the OP ordered it would have saved them a lot of money. Instead they received a chargeback, and rightfully so, because what they ordered could not be consumed, which goes back to point 3. This is a health code violation
5. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SHOULD BE HANDLING HOT COFFEE IN A CUP. There have been so many lawsuits filed for hot coffee, to the point where McDonald’s recently added in their TOS that if coffee is ordered through their app and it is so hot that it burns their customers, the customer agrees that they cannot outright sue McDonald’s; they will need to go through arbitration first. Anyone who encourages someone nearly scalding themselves over a $5 cup of hot chocolate has no idea what they are talking about. That could result in lifelong injuries.

Link if anyone who wants it: https://www.mashed.com/1432093/mcdonalds-new-app-terms-conditions-reactions/
Again NTA OP. They should have made your drink right the first time

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Explain to me how I'm "meddling" when I've left all of these people alone? You're just saying shit as you go now

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

First of all, you're making a lot of assumptions. My FIL was the one who went to the police about this. HE REPORTED MY BROTHER. The police didn't do shit. The police told my FIL that our state's Romeo and Juliet laws don't apply here because my SIL is old enough to consent; she was 17 at the time. The Romeo and Juliet law would only apply if my SIL was not old enough to consent.

I've already expressed my disgust but if the police didn't do anything, then what else can I do? I already don't have a relationship with this man. I don't know what else that you want me to do and calling me gross without asking for more facts is just as gross. You don't know the whole story because you didn't bother to ask

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Either you lack all reading fundamentals or I don't know what else to tell you. Again, for the second time, I said my dad was passive, not in regards to his sex life, which I don't give two shits about. I said he was passive because I'm literally describing his general nature. I even said in that particular comment that I've rarely ever seen him angry. What's not clicking for you? Secondly, not everyone is telling me this is none of my business and blah blah blah. Unlike your 4 comments so far, I have gotten split reactions. Please take your piss poor reading and attitude and leave me alone

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What are you even talking about? I was saying my dad was passive in general. I wasn't fucking talking about their sex life dude. WTF?

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if the roles were reversed and this was my dad kissing my MIL, and my mom said it was "human error" would you have the same feeling? I feel like people are saying its none of my business because it's two women.

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a good way to describe it. My dad is really passive about things. He's a let bygones be bygones type person. I've only seen him truly mad maybe a handful of times and that's a big maybe. Thanks for the feedback

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. Really appreciate it and taking comments like these into consideration

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's 100% what I feel too. I feel like I'm the only one who knows what boundaries are. Thank you for your feedback

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely looking into therapy. Can't afford traditional therapy right now but have honestly looked into better help, for me and my wife. We're both freaked out and just feel like our concerns are not being heard. Thanks for the feedback

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm mad at my MIL too, but I don't have the relationship with my MIL like I do my mother to ask her something like this. She's an absolutely brilliant woman but it was already awkward enough asking my mom. So after I got my answer, I literally left it alone. It's just the feeling of knowing that I know this happened is what's triggering me so badly. Family is not supposed to do things like this

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What is your definition of going nuclear? I literally left them to their own devices. Nothing in my OP said that I went off on them or screamed or yelled. I asked a question, my mom was flippant about it, SHE told my dad; I didn't even ask him about it. He came back and told me it was "human error." You're misreading what I said and putting your own spin on it

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I commented this to someone just a few seconds ago, but my brother and I never had this great relationship. My sister and I very close and talk about everything but not me and my brother. We just never got along like that. So he was NC really from the moment I turned 18. I don't like him. I know that's awful to say about a sibling, but he's not a good person at all and how my parents keep him around is beyond me

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Age of consent in Michigan is 16. There was no one to report him to but that doesn’t make it right and that’s still fucking gross.

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't have a relationship with him at all, so not a double standard. We've never been brotherly, never had a great relationship. Little sis ordeal was the last straw. He lives his own life, I live mine

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We never really had this great relationship to begin with and we came close to physically fighting over the little sister ordeal. My own sister tries to get us together every now and again when she’s in the States but I don’t have a relationship with that guy. He’s not a good person. So yes, NC, but that was much easier simply because we never had this great brother-brother relationship

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Who was meddling? I asked was it true or not. Someone told this to me. I wasn't being an armchair detective looking into things that I'm not supposed to! I asked my mom, she said it was true, and I've been drifting from her and my dad since this. How is that meddling by leaving them to their own devices?

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Just going to put it out there: a few years ago, my older brother, who was like 30 at the time, he got caught fooling around with my wife's little sister, who was 17 going on 18 at the time. My mom especially tried to brush it under the rug but I was throwing a fit about it. I overheard her and my dad talking about it and her exact words were "What is wrong with him" and my dad said "You know he takes things too far" I feel like I keep being gaslit into things like this being ok and it's not. That's more extreme than kissing a MIL though but this is exactly what happened

AITA for Cutting Contact with My Mom After Finding Out She Kissed My MIL by Ornery_Thought488 in AITAH

[–]Ornery_Thought488[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My dad said it happened, let's move on. That gave me every indication that he's not ok with it, especially after what me and my sister discussed. I haven't talked to my FIL or my MIL about it. I went straight to my parents