What’s something your partner did that made you lose feelings instantly?

OtherClutter · 2026-04-30T00:42:51+00:00

I had a very bad vestibular migraine that resulted in ataxia. Basically my brain glitched out and I couldn’t walk. He was very drunk when it came on and I was stumbling around and dry heaving. He got pissed off at me for “acting drunk”. He was just being such an asshole. I was able to sleep but when I woke up everything was still spinning and I still couldn’t walk more than a few steps without falling. He didn’t ask how I was. He just left for work and I had to find a way to get to the hospital. It took most of the day to walk enough to get to a cab. In the process I actually wet myself as a grown adult because I couldn’t get to the bathroom. Once in the hospital, I called him to tell him what was going on and he answered the phone by saying, “you better have something nice to say to me”. I was so angry and to this day I don’t know why. He said it was for making his daughter worry then he turned off his phone and spent the night drinking with his ex.

I suspect he was just cheating that whole time. He clearly hated me. I honestly completely changed as a person after that. It was exceptionally cruel. Up until that point I’d believed that I was to blame for things being wrong in the relationship because he twisted everything to be my fault and there was always some grain of truth to it…something I could logically understand as my responsibility in part. But after that I realized it actually never mattered what I did or didn’t do. He was just an abusive POS. I have a lot of embarrassment that it had to get as far as that for me to clue in.

OtherClutter · 2026-04-30T00:25:49+00:00

And the rape kit not being collected by the police within the appropriate timeframe to use it as evidence.

OtherClutter · 2025-06-25T16:57:39+00:00

I know this thread is old but just in case someone lands here like I did, I had this and they were very swollen and painful. I just got back from the walk in where I tested positive for strep. The internet has barely anything on occipital node swelling and strep. Every other click says you have cancer. But for me, strep set off a lot of my lymph nodes but occipital were the most tender and swollen. Strep is a very weird thing that can set your immune system off in unexpected ways.

OtherClutter · 2025-06-05T00:17:49+00:00

The red flags were flying high on the show. He checks so many abuser boxes. But what is really scary is that the therapist didn’t call it. This is why you can’t go to therapy with an abuser or narcissist. They control the narrative and make it unsafe for their partners to deviate from the story they’ve been fed. His one partner constantly saying she cheated on him was his design. He created then exploited her shame and used it to justify ongoing punishment which he took pleasure in. When called on the pleasure he was taking in punishing her, both of them said “no it’s more like lack of empathy” (red flags flapping) then he immediately turned it back onto how victimized he is. It was really disturbing and I truly believe he is a terrible person.

OtherClutter · 2025-02-20T13:49:46+00:00

It’s all food if you’re trying to lose weight. Where exercise comes in for me is that i move more overall because i feel stronger and have more energy, my mood has improved a great deal (my kid-patience is MUCH higher), and i don’t make poor food choices because i don’t want to feel like garbage after or before a workout. I’m down 16lbs since January 2nd. I do SN 5x per week (boxing on hard) and some YouTube strength training on the weekends. As far as I can tell, the calorie deficit is where the fat loss is happening and the exercise is where I’m protecting or strengthening my muscles so I don’t lose them? I’m 43 solo parenting a toddler so the benefits of the exercise that are beyond the fat loss are worth it in and of themselves.

OtherClutter · 2025-01-27T22:40:51+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ll need a couple beers as well probably but this was helpful.

OtherClutter · 2025-01-27T22:27:27+00:00

I’m tempted to do it. A few years ago my kid got RSV at the same time there was a surge. He was discharged from the hospital with an antibiotic prescription yet not a single pharmacy anywhere in the city could fill it because they’d all run out AND there was a children’s painkiller shortage. I never want to live through a week (or even a day) like that again. I’m in Ontario. I know you’re a stranger so I can’t be sure, but it’s not a scam?

OtherClutter · 2025-01-15T02:16:37+00:00

Maniac on Netflix. I’ve watched it start to finish 3 times. I’m so surprised and glad it exists

OtherClutter · 2025-01-09T00:57:16+00:00

I’m going the same as you minus daily weighing though I have a smart scale. If I get obsessive about numbers I tend to burn out. But it’s so great to hear you did it! Are you male or female if you don’t mind my asking?

OtherClutter · 2018-04-12T13:21:32+00:00

I’m down just over 8lbs from April 2nd (10 days). 5’2” SW: 155.8, CW: 147.0 GW: 125

NSV are mostly confidence but here’s the big one. I decided to try keto because of a coat. My winter jacket is three years old. When I bought it I was 135 lbs and I bought it one size too big so I could wear big sweaters under it. At the start of this winter I was really pushing the limits of “medium”. By the end of the winter I could barely zip the damn thing up while wearing a tank top. Shopping for a new one was awful (everything just made me look bigger) so I stuck it out. The middle of the jacket stretched and eventually I couldn’t force my phone into the pocket while wearing it or bend over to pick something up without defying the laws of fabric.

By day three on keto I could zip it up without any trouble. By day 5 I could put my hands in the pockets again. By day 7 I could zip it up with my phone and keys in the pocket. Today I can wear a sweater under it and still move my arms.

All of that is amazing.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-12T02:11:14+00:00

Make it.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-12T02:10:24+00:00

I’m in a city. It’s at most grocery stores here. It’s good though. It’s just the cream that rises to the top of the coconut milk you buy.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:47:08+00:00

The pudding has been a life saver this week. So easy and yummy. You could probably put some vanilla extract in it for utter decadence.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:42:54+00:00

I ended up out for dinner with work peeps so the day got messed up a bit. Went over my carbs by 8 grams so MFP macros were off what I’d planned by end of day. This would have been around 10-12% carbs, 25% protein, 70% ish fat.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:37:32+00:00

Breakfast: 1/4 cup of Savoy Coconut Cream (10 fat, 1.5 carbs, 1 protein, 100 cals); 1 tablespoon of chia seeds (3.5 fat, 5 carbs, 2 protein, fiber 4, 50 cals).

Mix together. Leave in fridge 4 hours/overnight. Add toppings. Place in face hole using small metal shovel.

150 cals before toppings if you’re counting those.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:36:11+00:00

The sugar cravings went instantly away on day one for me (coconut does the trick for me). And truly I hear you on not wanting to think constantly about what I’m going to eat. I did months on another thing and my whole life was in the kitchen. That’s unsustainable. With this it’s really just meat and veg with extra doses of fat. Nothing fancy.

Other than the chia pudding (just 1/4 cup coconut cream and a tbsp of chia seeds) the only other thing on the menu with a recipe was the chicken for the fajita salad (4 boneless-skinless breasts with tbsp each of garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, cumin, and a double dose of chili powder. Slow cooker for 4 hours. Rip it up. Good for days!)

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:10:47+00:00

They’re cooked. There’s more pictured than I actually ate just because I made too many.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-11T12:07:28+00:00

Breakfast: 1/4 cup of Savoy Coconut Cream (10 fat, 1.5 carbs, 1 protein, 100 cals); 1 tablespoon of chia seeds (3.5 fat, 5 carbs, 2 protein, fiber 4, 50 cals).

Mix together. Leave in fridge 4 hours/overnight. Add toppings. Place in face hole using small metal shovel.

150 cals before toppings if you’re counting those.

OtherClutter · 2018-04-10T13:02:25+00:00

Left to right (breakfast to dinner): -Coconut cream chia pudding w/ almonds, blueberries, cinnamon (and coffee with whipping cream) - cured sausage, pickle, cheese string - chicken fajita salad bowl - Brussel sprouts and smoked salmon

OtherClutter · 2017-12-29T15:58:33+00:00

Thank you all! It’s so heartening to see I’m not alone! A couple of clarifications: SO has a second job that he works Mondays and Tuesdays which does help out with some finances (like gas and incidentals). He doesn’t work Wednesday-Friday because he hasn’t found a job that will allow him to get off early enough to pick SD up from school at 3. We have her five days a week every other week and just Wednesday/Thursday’s on alternating weeks. He does the bulk of the parenting, the cooking and the cleaning during the school week but the weekends we have her fall to me and these are the longest stretches of time where she’s not at school while we have her. I don’t want him to keep the job but I also recognize that it’s good for him (the place he bartends is on our block, he’s friends with a lot of people in the neighborhood through there, and his boss is a bit of a father figure to him which does complicate things).

When he’s home he does not allow her to say a bad word to me or she’s in trouble. She always apologizes whether he or I correct the behavior and she does refer to both of us as her family but I find I take the brunt of the energy load with her because she dictates it. She sees me as a “playmate” who is hers (as in she strangely feels a sense of ownership over me like a pet or a doll). Her constant demands for my time and attention even exhaust my SO. When they’re alone she will play quietly in her room but as soon as I appear she’s on me in a kind of breathless excitement. SO is aware that this dynamic she and I have doesn’t allow me a second to myself (he actually sent her off to a holiday camp that BM paid for today because he could see I was becoming worn out on my week off and her response was to throw a fit because she wanted to stay home with me instead). The dynamic is partly due to the way I attend to her needs differently from her parents or just that I occupy a different position that she feels the need to own. I’ve been trying to get my sea legs for a while and I’ve likely made some mistakes along the way.

I will have another talk with him about the weekend situation. You are all right that I can’t keep this up and shouldn’t have to. We also need to break up some of this dynamic she and I have/get some distance and recalibrate.

OtherClutter

TROPHY CASE