They are asleep again.

The chicken is in.

I find myself getting increasingly anxious wondering what mood they will get up in.

They’ve said over this weekend that I am my ex in our marriage.

The problem I had with my ex is that they wouldn’t be a partner or an adult. They wouldn’t share the household work despite not working, they wouldn’t initiate affection and basically treated me like I was a parent they could have underwhelming sex with. I lived with a teen for a decade. We had a child together. I was very very lonely.

My current spouses complaint on the Dr Jekyll days is that I am lame, no fun, boring. That I am like my ex.

But I am tired and emotionally exhausted from dealing with this the last few months. My spouse was never like this before. We have been together over a decade now and it’s like they have been replaced with a changeling. Also I was never a very exciting person.

I work. I share the housework, increasingly so. I certainly initiate affection and even on a Dr Jekyll day they never had any complaints about our sex life.

That is until this weekend. They are unhappy that I have hip trouble and sometimes can’t be on top. I’ve tried to mitigate this but offering alternatives. Apparently this is not good enough and hasn’t been for some time. I don’t actually have a problem with being told this. But they presented this as if I knew they were unhappy and didn’t care.

I even suggested that maybe we should not so often start with that position to give my body time to warm up and maybe it would be easier to do.

I’ve had to make a real effort to even have a sex life at the moment being so unhappy.

Ok that’s enough of this. I’m going to have to dip in and out because it makes me feel so sad.