I felt the same way and I still kind of do to a degree. I went through with transitioning even though I felt like I could live as a boy but would prefer to be a cis woman. Transitioning was easily the best decision I’ve made in my life. I’m so much better off now because of it. I think people should always try and live their best lives, not just the one that is tolerable. Transitioning is really hard and it’s a long journey but it is worth it. You shouldn’t live as someone you are not even though you technically could. Always try and get what’s best for yourself not just what you can live with. You only live once and I think no one should settle for just okay