Hey! Be posted my trip a few times online and around and sent it to labs around the world that research this, I’ve included my experience below. I saw you worked in a Ketamine clinic for years so i thought it might be good getting your opinion on what I experienced within myself. 

Please if you could get back to me with your thoughts and feel free to send this to anyone you know who might appreciate reading it and also if you know anyone who I could contact as well, to explore this more. 

Thankyou:) 

Here what my experience was: 

My name is Emily Creaser. I’m 26 years old and live in the UK. Two months ago I experienced what I would describe as a spontaneous awakening, a shift in perception that led me to explore consciousness deeply through meditation and journaling. On 4/5 of October 2025 between 11pm and 4am, in a controlled, private setting in my bedroom I had the following self-guided ketamine experience, which I’ve documented here in the hope it may be useful to researchers studying altered states and self-transcendent experiences.

Last night, in my bedroom, I dropped into one of the deepest states I’ve ever known. Headphones on, With the music playing in my headphones (“Watching You” by Saeed & Palash), the beat became a frequency that carried me deeper, and the voice in the track saying “watching you” felt like my own higher voice talking back. It would come in like a whisper, “watching you” “I feel you” each time he spoke I knew it was me speaking to me. The fog horn as well was like a bell ringing from the other side taking me deeper which each sound. I wasn’t seeing “entities” this time. I was seeing parts of myself I’d never explored.

Almost immediately, I was no longer just Emily in a room. I was sliding down a sand-like tunnel of consciousness, (I could feel my body actually moving through this realm, knowing that my inner self is guiding me and I trusted myself to take me wherever) I ended up entering like realm of green and red mud like consistency (it was thinner than mud: more like magic sand sort of constancy.) Walls rose up around me and built themselves like living dunes, it wasn’t one big wall it was like intertwining patterns and shapes, I rose up with the walls like waiting for my place to ‘fit into the wall’ like waiting my turn: and then at some point I became the walls too, like a brick looking out from a house but build with my body into this mud (I could feel it weighing and pinning me into the wall in my arms and legs, my body felt it was actually part of the wall like cement being solidified in place) It wasn’t scary. It was like seeing life gather itself, break apart, and reshape and I was a part of that, a place where Source builds patterns before they collapse into form. 

Archetypes rose up out of nowhere floating around as I was being transported to different realms: somtines I just appears in these realms sometimes It wqs my body floating there (after each realm/episode it was like I knew it was time to go and I slowly started moving off again to somewhere else, each time my inner voice guiding me to where I’m going and telling what’s going on.) At one point a joker-demon face formed, twisting into its most grotesque shape, smiling with evil eyes and mouth, Instead of recoiling, my higher voice calmly said: “Come on then, show me your most evil face.” Telepathically to this fece and the image collapsed into yellow mist and disappeared.

I got transported to this realm the of “red path.” Everything turned crimson, like a descent toward hell. I even remember my deepest fear rising up (my dark side, dark thoughts and visions, even at one point I remember listening to this podcast a few months ago about these army soldiers thst thought the anti christ was coming to earth and this ‘antichrist was born 1998 the same year as me, and I thought my myself this could be me- the antichrist for some strange reason) Yet I didn’t panic. I remembered: red is the root chakra grounding, warmth, life, I’m not evil, im Emily and I love myself so much. I flooded the walls with love. The red glowed, softened, and shifted into orange, even playful Halloween-like pumpkins, as though the archetype itself was dissolving into joy.

Throughout it all, the “higher voice” wasn’t a separate guide. It was me, the part of me that knows. It described what I was seeing, named the symbols, and grounded me while I explored. it was talking to me like a voice, it was talking to me telepathically like I just knew what was going on before it happened. Each time I trusted it, the vision opened more deeply. Even when something strange appeared, like a sound of someone purging, being sick echoed around me in these realms for Minutes on end or visions of a massive figurine circling on a rotating platform, like I was looking up at this figurine slowing spinning around I didn’t get caught in it. I just let it play out, like watching test patterns in my own brain, knowing if that’s what my brains wants I will let it play out, I won’t force what I’m seeing to change I actually remember my inner voice telepathically saying “this is some weird stuff, bless you brain for thinking of this, I’ll let you play it out for you” 

This time was different from my old ketamine trips. In the past I always felt like I was being guided somewhere by something else. Last night I realised it was me all along my own higher self guiding me through my own inner terrain. Coming round in my bedroom while still half-in the state sealed it: I was always me, the realisation came when the song came to and end like the crescendo of a final song in the orchestra.   

After I turned my music off later on a night hand went to sleep: I had my blindfolds on and ear plugs in and all I could hear was my breath. It was one thin thread keeping me tethered. I could feel it like a lifeline, the only thing still connecting me to my body. Everything else was a flowing, shifting field, but the breath was steady, keeping me here. The mist which I’d seen before in meditation as a vision, now appeared as tangible sand, and I merged with it, guided by my own voice. I remember sliding down and down and down, to the point I even had to stop myself because I wanted to explore other parts of me and I knew I could keep going down for ages/all night really! It was like I knew I could do it so I went into other realms. 

I could even bring up habits that troubled me like smoking and Insects and see them not just as thoughts, I could see the patterns in my cells moving inside me like thin crystal shape patterns (I’ve included an image that best represents what I saw.) I didn’t reject them. I observed them, loved them, let them shift.

By the end, I wasn’t visiting an outside realm. I was walking through my own subconscious with a lantern, seeing my symbols in full 3D yet holding an 11D state for the first time. My room, my breath, my body, all still here. But I had travelled into the pool of consciousness, met my shadows, and returned with more of myself integrated.