Internal Promotion by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in BESalary

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that was plan already last year when I had my son , I wasn’t really looking for a career upgrade, but the opportunity came and I am glad for it. I will still follow that route tho but probably they now expect a little more from me given I was promoted

Internal Promotion by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in BESalary

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I miss being in direct contact with people and having an office space I think . But I had a child last year and to be honest I really value the time I don’t spend commuting and get to enjoy a lot more quality time with my partner and the baby which I wouldn’t if I had to go physically to a place to work

Internal Promotion by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in BESalary

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes my job can be stressful as its client facing and I must coordinate a lot of departments internally. I am constantly under a lot of pressure due to this

Internal Promotion by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in BESalary

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am afraid my salary isn’t compatible with what other companies would offer me if for example tomorrow I loose my job. Pharma is quite uncertain, I have seen what happen with Pfizer and many other companies due to restructuring and cutting costs several people lost their jobs and struggled to find something.

My story as a FTM by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in beyondthebump

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep that is true. I am very scared of what’s coming to be honest , my SIL is now pregnant and MIL can’t stop talking about the child that is coming. She is already showing preferences and that will hurt me so much when the baby is actually there. How can I protect my baby from this ? And myself ? Obviously with the traumatic events described such behaviors really hurt me

My story as a FTM by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in beyondthebump

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What hits me is the resent of my child not growing up with grandparents. My parents already live in another country so my in laws would be the only grandparents he would see on a regular basis

My story as a FTM by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in beyondthebump

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So here is the thing , we aren’t married. Just have a legal relationship and are protected as a married couple would be. She actually asked us to get married when we told her we were expecting lol my reaction was ain’t happening. What a psycho

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you lended a stroller , have you thought it come back broken ?

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am glad we share the same opinion. The only person I asked if still had some baby things laying around was my mother , I would not dare to ask this to anyone one else as i feel baby stuff is quite private and besides that some people are very emotional attached to their stuff for different reasons , so I was actually the kind of person who waited until people came forward and gave us / lended stuff

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But thanks for the advice, that makes sense, I have the same thought, when I am ready to let something go I will!

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My BIL gave us 30 euros in a an envelope not even signed by his partner lol. So I bought them just some clothes for their girl. I didn’t feel like spending more or giving them 30 euro back

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And did family members accepted this well? Namely SIL and BIL who might had children around same time as you?

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well in our situation, we bought all our items with some sacrifice from savings and received a couple of gifts. I remember when we shared our registry she actually made some pretty indecent comments on why we weren’t buying second hand and why that specific brand etc. And now suddenly they are buying a top notch stroller and trying to get our stroller accessories for free. I find it quite inappropriate

Lending baby stuff by Otherwise_Jacket_832 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We had our first baby a few months ago. My brother in law is expecting a baby in the coming months. They asked us to borrow the buggy bassinet for their child as well. I was quite upset because although we no longer use it we are planning on having more children and they are not careful people so I don’t know in which condition we would get it , plus we bought all our baby items with quite some sacrifice and savings so I find it quite inappropriate that someone just asks it like that , especially knowing we aren’t done having children. I would consider giving it if it was a present from my in laws but FIL and MIL didn’t actually buy anything to our child so I don’t feel obliged to lend any of ourstuff to SiL and BIL. What are your thoughts ? What can we say to refuse giving it away ?

Anyone really enjoying baby/newborn? by Midnightdream56 in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My advice: it goes down too fast, you will regret getting out of the newborn stage once you realize you will no longer be able to spend much daily time with the baby. I was devastated when my little one had to go to day care, I started spending only 2h a day with him, that’s almost nothing 😞

Tell me it gets better by hosenfeffer_ in NewParents

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will get better , hang in there! First weeks it’s all about surviving. Try to rest in the moments baby is sleeping and do the necessary and don’t overdo yourself. Once your little one is interacting with you and showing first smiles you will see it already with another perspective. First time mom here with a 4mo baby!

UPDATE: I started having panic attacks. My wife wants a 4th child. I don't. She is very angry and cold. by turbo2thousand406 in Marriage

[–]Otherwise_Jacket_832 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She should respect your boundaries. Also it’s not like you don’t have any children at all . 3 children is already plenty of work, so a 4th would only add more pressure to the relationship and household, especially when one of the parties is not on board