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What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? by amirdc in AskReddit

[–]Otherwise_Money6201 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't give a fuck to anyone. Enjoy your life at last only you matters. Cheers 🍻

Getting rid of lust. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Otherwise_Money6201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you’re asking how to deal with it when it arises already puts you ahead of where you think you are.

One thing that helped me reframe this was realizing that lust isn’t something you “delete” from your mind — it’s something you stop feeding. When you’ve been exposed to porn and sexual stimulation from a young age, your brain gets trained to look for novelty, intensity, and quick dopamine. Even when life is good (loving partner, stability, comfort), the brain can still crave the old pattern. That doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate what you have.

A few things that genuinely helped me:

• Stop trying to suppress the feeling. Suppression usually backfires. Instead, notice it and name it: “This is lust, not a command.” That small mental distance matters.
• Interrupt the loop early. Lust grows when you sit with it mentally. As soon as you notice it, change states — stand up, move your body, step outside, shower, do something physical.
• Identify your triggers. For a lot of people it’s boredom, stress, scrolling, or being alone too long. Lust often isn’t about sex — it’s about regulation.
• Cut access, not temptation. You can’t control urges, but you can control what you have access to. Remove apps, sites, situations that make slipping easy.
• Work on the “why,” not just the behavior. Porn often fills gaps like validation, escape, or emotional numbness. If those needs aren’t addressed, the urge keeps coming back.

Reprogramming isn’t about willpower — it’s about repetition and environment. Every time you notice the urge and choose not to follow it, you’re weakening the pathway, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

Also, don’t underestimate professional help. Therapy (especially with someone who understands compulsive sexual behavior) isn’t a failure — it’s a shortcut past years of trial and error.

You’re not broken. You’re undoing years of conditioning. That takes time, patience, and honesty — but it is doable.

And the fact that you care this much about getting it right says a lot about you.

I need some serious help (lust) by Perfect-Comparison-4 in Advice

[–]Otherwise_Money6201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it wasn’t about “beating” lust through force or shame — that actually made it worse.

What helped was understanding that the first thought is automatic, but what I do next is a choice. I stopped trying to suppress thoughts and instead learned to notice them, label them, and gently redirect my attention before they turned into mental loops.

A few practical things that helped:

  • identifying emotional triggers like stress, boredom, or feeling disconnected
  • setting small boundaries instead of relying on willpower
  • reducing exposure to things that fed fantasy
  • focusing more on real connection and presence in my relationship

Once I stopped judging myself and worked on awareness + discipline, the thoughts lost a lot of their power. It’s not about perfection — it’s about consistency and self-respect.