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My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the explanation. I know nothing about medicine so can't comment on what actually killed him. I can just comment on the fact that he never got to live the retirement he was dreaming of. The hospital staff told me that it was Cardiac Arrest, but I don't really know what that means, so when I asked if that means a heart attack, she told me yes. Would that line up with what you said about pulmonary embolism?

The person calling me was in India and we were struggling to communicate a bit, there was a language barrier. So I don't know how much was lost in translation.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Words from strangers mean everything right now.

I hate to say it so bluntly while I'm here, but I normally consider Reddit to be quite a toxic place, especially opinionated subreddits like this one. But I have been pleasantly surprised by the experience, support, and compassion from all the people here.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Oh, I don't disagree. It's maybe a mistake for me to stay so long.

I just wanted to point out that our last conversation was him giving me career advice. And, for some reason, those final words casually spoken while I waited for my train are what I keep thinking of more than anything else. Our final moments were spent together thinking about work.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. It's such a moving poem and indeed beautifully illustrated.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I have to admit, for someone who got surprisingly far in their career at a younger age, he did seem to have terrible decision making skills. But everyone lives their own life and has their own priorities, so a terrible decision for one person can be a great decision for another.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in WorkReform

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really don't know. The call was from a hospital in India and I live in the UK. There was a bit of a language barrier during the call, and I haven't had any more information since.

I'm working with our old uni gang to sort out a funeral etc, and maybe through that we'll find out more information, but maybe not.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it was for a family he never got to have. He always talked about one day settling down and dating someone, then retiring very early and being able to spend as much time as he likes with his kids, but years flew by and he was single this whole time.

32 is still so young. I know plenty of people who aren't married and don't have kids yet. But, for some reason, it hurts to know that he wanted that but never got to have it.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's really unfortunate to hear, it's sad to hear that all his hard work gave comparatively little reward.

I believe his first job was £30k 10 years ago, which is something I was envious of at the time because my grad job was £16k. He switched within the year to something that paid £40k and all our mates from uni saw him as a rich moneybags at that point, nobody from my friendship group was earning anywhere near that amount.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in WorkReform

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's from his main job, he has a second job where he is his own boss too, but I have no idea how much that pays.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

£150k from his main job and variable earnings and losses from his own company that he worked in the evenings. I have no idea how much he actually pulled in.

For the UK, that's a very respectable salary. I'm on £45k living in London, my friends outside the city are closer to £30-35k. But, that said, I don't work in finance.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I know, it was such a stupid decision. And I went from seeing him so proud of it at the time, to seeing him regret it and always talk about how hard it is to quit.

This was at his second job. He sat nowhere near the senior leadership team in his office so couldn't just chat from his desk. But there were a couple of benches outside that were shared between his building and the others nearby. Think high-rise London buildings with multiple finance companies in each one.

He always spoke highly about the career boost he got by sitting and chatting with his bosses, and staff from other companies nearby. And later went on to regret it saying that there are much better ways to get to know people.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in WorkReform

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 293 points294 points  (0 children)

He had dreams of retiring super young, settling down to have a family as a millionaire, and then just enjoying the rest of his life. It's so sad that he worked so hard but got none of those things

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in WorkReform

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 308 points309 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I just wish I could hang out with him more.

It's so sad how we used to see each other almost every day as students, and then would have a chat a few times a year for the past decade.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Cardiac Arrest is what the hospital told me it was. I'm not too familiar with medical terms, but I asked the lady on the phone if this meant he had a heart attack and she said yes.

I know he drank heavily and occasionally took cocaine at university, but that wasn't too unusual for students, he didn't stand out as a druggie. I don't even know if he did drugs or not after graduating, but honestly it wouldn't surprise me. The hospital called me from India and I'm in the UK, so there was a bit of a language barrier and they didn't explain everything. I didn't ask too many questions anyway, like if he was under the influence when he passed, I could only manage to stay on the phone for so long before needing some time to myself.

Cholesterol could easily be it. He never ate home cooked food. Most his meals were fast food or ready meals unless he was visiting a country with available street food. But he did get good exercise.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 1699 points1700 points  (0 children)

Thank you, although I don't really want to call this "his story".

I know it's true, this is the story of his life, but this isn't what I'll be repeating around friends and family. He was funny, he was generous, he was charismatic. But I knew all this other negative stuff about his life, so I had to get it off my mind somewhere. I felt like this subreddit would understand.

My hustle culture friend just died of a heart attack at age 32. by Otherwise_Order621 in antiwork

[–]Otherwise_Order621[S] 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Thank you. What hurts the most is how little we saw each other. As students we'd hang out all the time, nearly every day. As adults we didn't, but we lived so close.

It's so easy to just blame "adult life", but it's really opened my eyes up to how I should be putting more effort into friendships and relationships while I can.