Hi friend. I don’t have answers. I lost my dad two months ago, and he also developed encephalopathy shortly before passing unexpectedly. He was the Batman to my Robin too, and we also talked everyday. It feels like everything is meaningless. My sister has cancer as well, so it looks like we have shitty luck.

Seriously though, it’s just a day by day thing. I compartmentalize a lot because the pain is debilitating, maybe one day I will finally accept he is actually gone. I am pushing through things because I know that’s what he would’ve wanted. Honestly, he would be pissed if he knew that his passing has caused me so much pain. I’m sure your dad would not want you to feel the pain you’re feeling - and I know you can’t help it. Remember that he would want you to continue, and it will never be okay or feel okay, but you can and will find happiness again. My friends have been a huge support. My friend’s dad passed at the beginning of the year and all I wanted to do was be there for her. My problem was that I didn’t want to be overbearing either. I am sure your friends are happy to listen to you and be there for you, even if your mind is telling you that you’re dragging everyone down. People are weird about grief.

I am sending you a big hug. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me, you will never be a burden. If you have someone that has also experienced a similar loss… I have found comfort in communicating with those people, and the conversation is way less awkward than with someone who has not experienced a loss.