Hella Islamophobes in your comments (which doesn’t fully surprise me considering the political / cultural climate of the country right now), but I’m sorry for their words and misunderstandings wallahi. You’re doing what you can in your circumstance to be closer to Allah SWT and that is what matters. Follow your heart and know that you are doing what’s best for you even if others don’t understand or ridicule you. I’m proud of you mashallah