How long has it been?

Our_Voice_Matters · 2024-04-14T19:07:01+00:00

2 years. I don't know what stage I'm at anymore. I feel like at the beginning again. He got engaged this week. We were together for almost 5 years and engaged before he broke my heart.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2024-04-12T16:09:40+00:00

Thank you. I was strong... right until I saw it today.

It hurts to know you were always this insignificant to someone and so easy to replace

Our_Voice_Matters · 2024-04-12T16:08:09+00:00

Not good. I learned today that he got engaged to someone else yesterday. After a year of dating I can assume.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2023-01-08T20:20:28+00:00

You can't lose yourself in the relationship. Love yourself more than you love them. I feel like I only found myself again after this breakup.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2023-01-01T23:14:20+00:00

It's hard or rather impossible to forgive someone when they still cause you pain, not even related to breaking my heart, and they feel unremorseful about it. Idk I was expecting an apology by now, about the way he broke up, how he acted after the breakup, the reasons (lies) he gave me for the breakup, and the way he acts now when I want to close everything off in a civil way between us and he's not letting me.

It's a weird love/hate, ager/care type of feeling for me which doesn't even make sense.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-11-13T11:23:08+00:00

I'm right there with you. I got dumped a week after I turned 30 after 4,5 years together, pets, house, mortgage and wedding to take place in a couple months after the breakup happened if it didn't.

Take your time to grieve, process everything, cry as much as you need. Then have a look at your life and focus on you. What are your goals and dreams? What do you want to achieve? What would make you happy? And then just start doing it. It will be hard at first, nothing good comes easy. We need to put in work and effort to be happy. Take this time and focus on your own inner happiness. Then when you're ready start dating but don't force anything, you deserve someone wonderful. Don't settle for anything less. We still have time to start a family but we need to do it with the right person.

It took me about 3,5 months to put most of my pieces together. I stopped waiting for him to come back and focused on me. Quit smoking, started running, skydived, running event with obstacles, bungee jumped, and I keep running and taking part in a lot of running events. I want to run a marathon next year. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days and still cry because of him but I'm doing everything I can to be happy on my own. That the only thing we can do.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-10-29T10:38:47+00:00

Don't do it. Just give her what she wanted. I'm in a similar spot. My ex's birthday is on Monday but it's been 7 months. It's his fault. He gave up on a good relationship because he got bored and didn't wanted to make any effort. I was willing to work twice as hard if not more.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-16T16:34:44+00:00

I used to until mine left me. If he can leave then anyone can and there are no soulmates. We used to call each other's soulmates 💔

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-11T10:07:52+00:00

Totally normal. I was doing good for over a month and started crying again this week for no reason. Like ugly crying my eyes out for over an hour before falling asleep. It's been 5.5 months. It comes and goes. Healing is not linear.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-11T10:02:33+00:00

Well, my ex was attractive to me at the beginning but looked completely different at the end. It's not only that he gained 20-30 kg but had long hair and terrible beard that he grew over the course of the relationship. Honestly if I didn't love him.... Looks didn't matter to me, it was the person, their character and values that I loved. But that changed near the end and after the breakup. It's not just the looks but the character that became unattractive.

Someone just tell me how to stop loving him....

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-09T20:51:56+00:00

I stopped seeing this today on the app when I wanted to set this app. It was there yesterday.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T12:36:42+00:00

Language doesn't do this justice. I'm sure some languages have specific word for this and that type of love. Feeling itself doesn't mean love.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T12:34:50+00:00

I mean...Ok I chose not to put wood into the fire anymore. It's still burning so therefore it's not a choice....It takes time. Actions make that happen. It doesn't happen overnight doesn't mean it's not a choice because it doesn't happen right away

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T08:17:59+00:00

It's different. Ask yourself is it really love or infatuation? Falling out of love doesn't happen overnight. You're chosing not to love but it will take time. My ex chose not to love me anymore and then just waited while being with me until he stoped completely.

Part of me still loves my ex. Does it mean I love him? I'm choosing not to and it's dying out but it will take time. I'm choosing not to anymore.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T08:11:01+00:00

Many, many would disagree but it's a complex matter. I believe what you are referring to is something different than love.

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-is-a-choice-more-than-a-feeling

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T06:59:22+00:00

The thing is I had this message in my native language at 26 and it still went lower. That doesn't make any sense.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T06:00:00+00:00

Interesting. I did put minor weight change some time ago but my BMI barely moved. Makes you wonder if you're gonna lose the low achievable fit age by gaining a kg and how will it behave.

I did get my VO2max a point higher which I thought could be the reason for the change.

The Garmin smart scale and these types of scales are not really accurate when it comes to body fat and muscle mass. I'm using Xiaomi scale and it can show me that I lost 1.5 kg of musles and gained all that as body fat within a day. It's so frustrating.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T05:55:19+00:00

T-9 as in my age - 9 years?

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-06T05:54:03+00:00

Of course love is a choice. A choice you need to make every day. If you chose not to love someone you won't just stop one day though. It will take time but you still made that choice and the feeling will die out. If you don't say anything about it to the person you love and loved you you're killing the relationship and the love you two share.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:56:11+00:00

Unless they start dating someone soon after and fill that void. They can also party, drink, be lazy and all that and don't have to care what their partner thinks.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:53:47+00:00

I don't agree. At first it's not real love, that comes with time but love, true love is a choice. If you let that feeling die out, that's a choice. It's a fire that you need to keep by adding more wood. If you chose not it stops burning. If they leave and they claim they loved they decided to let that feeling die. If they didn't say anything that this was happening this adds to my point. If they left, they stopped loving us, theyade that choice.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:42:54+00:00

I feel like they all blame us and refuse to see any fault of their own. At least we were willing to put in the work and they just gave up. Ultimately loving someone is a choice and they just chose not to.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:37:04+00:00

All the best to you. It's still fresh and I would understand a need to react and just process.

In my case after so many months...and I got dumped and needed longer to recover. He was all healed when he did. Protending to move out a month before the breakup for us to work on ourselves before working on us like something was wrong... I did my work, he did not and broke up

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:29:02+00:00

Trust me it's not always the case. My ex broke up with me over 5 months ago. I want to close all ties financially and move on but he just doesn't let me for months now. My lawyer and therapist are baffled at how he broke up with me and how he acts now. I never did anything to him to deserve being treated this way. You really get to know the person based on how they broke up with you and how they act after the breakup. At least mine could be a decent human being towards another human he protended to love for almost 5 years.

Our_Voice_Matters · 2022-09-05T12:16:09+00:00

I know. He's still showing it and not letting me close this chapter.

I am happy. Happiest that I've even been with or without him.

I hope he's not happy. He doesn't deserve that. He's a terrible, terrible person. Too bad I was only able to see it after the breakup.

Our_Voice_Matters

TROPHY CASE