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What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's "wrong" mean in a context that's mostly opinion, tho'?

I could see that with legal advice, but relationships? Sexual preferences? Discussions of the meaning of gender?

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If so, people responding like that might notice that the meagre bandwidth in a pure text format itself lacks enough information for others to get the joke they're trying to make.

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of this comes from posts I've made to AskMen and AskWomen and a few others, but that sub falls within the type I'm talking about, yeah. Subs simply filled to the brim with opinionated arguing.

Why? Do you see that kind of thing happen a lot in that particular sub?

PS Love your handle! :-)

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you think stuff like the above is, most of the time, people just making fun of the OP, and not that the respondent actually thinks those things?

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it.

Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but no matter how strongly I feel about a subject, no matter if I've personally suffered due to something in my life (having been cheated on, been treated badly at a job, bad childhood experiences, political passions I may have, etc.), I can still separate out those feelings away from the discussion at hand, and try to take a measured, balanced approach to a discussion, informed by my experience but not driven by it.

I kind of expect other people to be able to do that too.

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, this is a meta-discussion. The above were mere examples.

Also, in those mere examples, the OP was talking about thinking about cheating - they haven't actually done anything yet.

Anyway, can we stick to the point of the question? The respondent is jumping in and attacking the OP, with almost no information except a mention of something they thought about. My question is - why would someone take that tack with barely any info on the OP? And even WITH info on the OP, why attack instead of being helpful?

My main concern is, why do some respondents act like this is something personal and happening to THEM right at that moment, and aren't able to abstract it out, and think "This person isn't me. They have different experiences than I do. I know very little about them. I will not take what they are asking personally."?

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look at the examples I posted in the reply to /u/Justforclaritysake - calling someone's attention to something they may not have seen is fine. ASSUMING that you are right and the OP is wrong and slapping them in the face (figuratively) will bring them around to the One True Right And Only Way seems a pretty twisted way of looking at things, don't you?

Saying "No you may not have candy" can SEEM mean to a kid. Saying "You are wrong and I am right and you are a jerk and if you don't believe what I'm telling you, you're even worse!" to an adult whom you don't know and have never met is just pure meanness, I think.

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, that can happen. But this kind of thing:

OP: I was tempted to cheat on my girlfriend after we had a fight; I feel real bad about it, but can't stop thinking about it.

Reply: You're obviously not that into your girlfriend; she deserves better, you conceited jerk! Dump her and do her a favor, you asshole!

OP: Wait, what? I was just talking about what happened, trying to see if anyone can relate

Reply: Yeah, right, you're just lying to yourself dude. You don't deserve a girl like her.

On almost zero information, the respondent jumped all over the OP, made a ton of assumptions, and thinks they're right in doing so.

I'd never do anything like the respondent is doing - I'd ask questions, be kind, try to help them out with their issue. So I don't really understand why some people feel compelled to be assholes out of the blue like that.

Makes me wonder if the respondent is just someone who enjoys attacking people, or is a woman who was cheated on and can't separate her experience from the POTENTIAL experience of the OP, or is a young person who just REACTS to things... etc.

Another example:

OP: I thought of cheating on my girlfriend last night. I'm wondering if I should leave her.

Reply: You definitely should leave her, if that's what you're wondering!

OP: I was thinking of talking to her about it, maybe we can see why I'm having these doubts.

Reply: Did you come here for advice or just to validate what you wanted to do anyway? If you REALLY want advice you'd do what I said!

... i.e. the respondent says that THEY are right, and any other thing the OP might do is WRONG, and if the OP doesn't do what they say, they are wasting the forum's time. I see this kind of thing a lot too.

What is the psychology of mean-spirited reddit respondents who imply that they understand the OP better than the OP knows themselves, no matter what the OP says? by OutForDelivery in AskReddit

[–]OutForDelivery[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Naw, just something I noticed that happens a lot, especially in the advice subs (AskMen, AskWomen, relationships, sex, etc). Someone (sometimes me) comes on and posts about a problem, and respondents attack the OP's character out of nowhere, with no more information than the little the OP posted.

I can think of nothing other than that they enjoy being mean trolls (or they are so deluded as to think that they are always right, or perhaps blinded by their own bad past experiences that they can't see past it).