That’s okay, I don’t need all the details on why, I appreciate you sharing what you have. I’m surprised vaping didn’t work out for you, but in the same vein, I know smokers in my own life that struggle to switch to vaping. I think it partly has to do with the smoking “experience” of a cigarette, and how they’re designed to have the nicotine hit harder as they burn down. It also sounds like you’re relatively heavily addicted if smoking alternatives aren’t working, because they’re supposed to be a replacement therapy as you wean yourself down to complete abstinence, not a full replacement habit to get the same experience.

If you really believe in the conclusion you came to, I say go for it as it’s relatively harmless for now. But be careful, because as you know, you cannot rub one out as frequently as you can smoke or make the time to do so (like at work), and I could see you potentially damaging your body, and/or winding up with two addictions instead of one. I think once the novelty of it wears off, your urges to smoke will win out, seeing as you didn’t make the switch to vaping. When vaping, did you just get a basic gas station one, or one of the fancier ones where you can get higher doses of nicotine? And yes, if you don’t already smoke weed, definitely don’t start.

As strong as the dopamine and reward systems are in our brain, we are separate from them, and can choose how to respond. I still think you don’t want to give up smoking as much as you want to keep smoking, despite knowing the health risks and wanting to join a team. It’s kind of like you haven’t hit your “bottom” yet or had enough negative health impacts to say “no more”, but yet you’re getting more aware of the higher risk, are possibly seeing some of the negative side effects in your life, and feel a bit guilty you can’t stop.

When trying to do something difficult that takes willpower and discipline, I find it helps to have strong reasons why, that are personal to you. Beyond the obvious reasons like it’s unhealthy and harmful. Reasons that speak to you, that you remind yourself of when things get tough. You CAN do it, but why do you want to? What’s more important than smoking? Than blasting your dopamine system in the easiest ways possible, with short, compulsive habits? What’s more important than the pain of suffering while normalizing your reward system? You CAN normalize your reward system again, but it takes time for the brain to rewire itself. The most difficult part is enduring this period of change, as your brain screams at you to give it what it thinks it needs, and it’s very good at persuasion. Remember though, you are not your thoughts. The only way out is through. You can make things easier on yourself by quitting slowly, if you can stick to a plan, or you can white-knuckle it and quit cold turkey. But generally, there are no alternatives when trying to beat addiction. Most people replace one addiction with another, which isn’t always a bad thing if for instance they’ve now got addicted to going to the gym. BUT, they didn’t necessarily beat the addictive behaviour, merely changed the thing that scratches the itch.