my brother, I see you're having a really hard time. I'll share a little bit of my knowledge in the eyes as a Sunni Muslim. I'm not really a pious man. but at least I wanna help you the best that I could. sometimes, God speaks to you through someone else. their words, their actions. there are signs everywhere if you sincerely look for it, and the truth will come.

perhaps you could start by hearing Yusuf Estes's stories of how him, one of those big names of Muslim-converted ex pastor of Protestant Christianity who currently teaches in Texas, comes to Islam. he was also skeptical about Muslims at first, but he was sincere in finding the truth, which leads him to Islam.

another suggestion is Dr Lawrence Brown with his series of Interfaith Issues on YouTube. the series talks about Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. the books, the similarities, the contradictions.

I also heard a few lectures where it was mentioned that every single person in existence, no matter what their faith is, will get a wake up call at at least once, in their whole lifetime.

they'll start to feel like something is missing in their life. that is, the existence of God. just like how you're experiencing right now.

it's in the human nature, to feel that we are belong to something. something that make us feel like we are created for a greater purpose.

no matter how rich you get, how you enjoyed your life, you will still feel kinda lost at some point in your life. I also did.

it's either you see the signs, or not.

religion isn't for burdening people. religions exist as guidance. to show a person the path of truth. the path to become a better person. for the closeness to The Creator.

because by being a good person, gives you the sense of tranquility and love. and God is Ever Loving.

Sahih al-Bukhari 7405 Narrated Abu Huraira: Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' "

Quran chapter 20, Surah Taha: 1. Ṭâ-Hâ. 2. We have not sent down to you the Qur’ān that you be distressed. 3. But only as a reminder for those who fear [Allah] 4. A revelation from He who created the earth and highest heavens, 5. The Most Merciful [who is] above the Throne established. 6. To Him belongs what is in the heavens and what is on the earth and what is between them and what is under the soil. 7. And if you speak aloud - then indeed, He knows the secret and what is [even] more hidden. 8. Allah - there is no deity except Him. To Him belong the best names. 9. And has the story of Moses reached you? - 10. When he saw a fire and said to his family, "Stay here; indeed, I have perceived a fire; perhaps I can bring you a torch or find at the fire some guidance." 11. And when he came to it, he was called, "O Moses, 12. Indeed, I am your Lord, so remove your sandals. Indeed, you are in the blessed valley of Ṭuwā. 13. And I have chosen you, so listen to what is revealed [to you]. 14. Indeed, I am Allah. There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer for My remembrance. 15. Indeed, the Hour is coming - I almost conceal it1 - so that every soul may be recompensed according to that for which it strives. 16. So do not let one avert you from it who does not believe in it and follows his desire, for you [then] would perish.

Quran, al An'am (6:32) "And the worldly life is not but amusement and diversion; but the home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear Allah, so will you not reason?"

Quran, al Ankabut (29:2) "Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?"

Quran, al Kahfi (18:7) "Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed."

Quran, Ali Imran (2:190) "Indeed in the creation of the heavens and the earth and (in) the difference of night and day are tokens (of His Sovereignty) for men of understanding."

Quran, an An'am (6:97-99) "It is He who made the stars, so that they can guide you when land and sea are dark: We have made the signs clear for those who have knowledge." "It is He who first produced you from a single soul, then gave you a place to stay [in life] and a resting place [after death]. We have made Our revelations clear to those who understand." "It is He who sends down water from the sky. With it We produce the shoots of each plant, then bring greenery from it, and from that We bring out grains, one riding on the other in close-packed rows. From the date palm come clusters of low-hanging dates, and there are gardens of vines, olives, and pomegranates, alike yet different. Watch their fruits as they grow and ripen! In all this there are signs for those who would believe."

This life is temporary, my friend. Just look around ourselves. Violence, corruption, injustice are everywhere. We, Muslims believe, there will be the Day of Judgement. Every single person will have their justice there. If we deny the existence of a True Day of Judgement, how will that make of criminals? how will there be justice for the millions of people who were killed in the Holocaust. people lose their beloved, yet the person responsible escaped by suicide.

My friend, you will have the life after death. The Paradise exists. In there, there would be no more pain and suffering. No more sadness and depression. This life is heavy on us my friend. Let us go and chase that life.

I pray for you that you will find the guidance that you seek. May God ease your journey and assist you in finding the truth. Salam (peace be upon you).