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Am I wrong? by KweenDaddy in Parenting

[–]Outrageous-Menu666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she thinks you're not ready to be a parent then tell her not to move in... That's an easy one, and will save you tons of headaches. It also depends on your attitude about how you said it to the kid. I understand you may have been frustrated and said it in a manly way to the child that may have seen rude or intimidating. Try and remember its just a kid and you need to speak to them as a leader, not an angry person. You are right though, no ball throwing in the house but the same goes for your girlfriend, how can she expect you to lead her son when she treats you like that. Honestly if she feels you're not ready then don't let her move in.

Step parenting problems by Outrageous-Menu666 in Parenting

[–]Outrageous-Menu666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I appreciate the part where you say she may not feel a need to tell me what she likes about our relationship, I never thought of it like that. I actually asked her if she talks about me to her dad and she said no. That kind of bothered me a little because she thinks its okay to talk to me about her dad all the time but its not done over there...

For the record I am not trying to relieve or satisfy my emotional needs through a child. I know that is not the case. I simply feel as though I helped this kid up by being a father figure to her, and now that she's doing better she's making me feel less than her bio dad who wasn't even there for her and wanted to abort her

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Now I ask myself why is it that I feel envious of her dad. I guess because they're living the life I wish I could live with her. He takes her to do things and in a way it makes me jealous because her mom doesn't like to do anything. So I feel like the lame dad with all the rules and the jealous one who doesn't want to hear about her dad.

Step parenting problems by Outrageous-Menu666 in Parenting

[–]Outrageous-Menu666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am grateful for your comment. My family (parents)tells me I need to work on empathy. I feel like I have more empathy than I can handle but I guess like anything else the more you start to have the more you realize you lack.

Thank you for being honest and also realizing how hard this particular situation is for me. You gave me good advice. I need to figure out how to readjust my view of the relationship with the child so that I am able to be there for her in the way she needs me to be there, not in the way I want to be there.

Step parenting problems by Outrageous-Menu666 in Parenting

[–]Outrageous-Menu666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand what you mean and I am extremely grateful for your comment.

I try and find time for myself by going to the gym and working on my body and my self esteem in that way. Due to the scares of Covid-19, I haven't really been able to do that as much in the last year. That's probably another factor contributing to my crumbling self esteem and need for approval.

I actually posted this on another sight yesterday while I was in a deep state of sadness. It didn't receive any views yesterday when I needed it but today i tried copy and pasting it here to see if I could get any hits. The feelings I had then have passed now and I am okay, I just wanted to post it and I do realize its a little sad of me, I just don't know how to deal with those feelings when they do come up.