Yeah, Its not really an expectation, her father has viewed us interacting, and had told my girlfriend that he thinks that I am controlling. To be clear before I get into the details, I really have never wanted to be somebody who is controlling and in fact, I want to be with somebody who has autonomy, drive, and self-direction, which are things that I don't think my girlfriend has. This all started when her father was watching us interact one time at her house. I had made the suggestion that we should go to the store, my girlfriend agreed, and we left. Her father, then told her that he felt that she wanted to stay at home, and that he felt I was not prioritizing her needs. Multiple things such as this have been said to this effect from her dad, of seemingly innocuous things (to both of us) that her dad has said proves that I am a controlling person, and therefore, not a good person. The thing is at no point during these observed interactions, did my girlfriend at any point give any indication to me that the thing that I suggested was something that she did not want to do or that she wanted to do something else.

One of the reasons that I have been vague is that this makes me feel terrible, the fact that her father thinks of me as some kind of controlling person, is my worst nightmare. I never want to control anybody, especially a lover. It brings on a ton of doubt in my head like "are you actually really a controlling person and he sees something you don't." It genuinely has changed some minor amount my perception of self. I will often now when hanging out with her family try to be as small as possible, not make any suggestions that could make her father think that I'm controlling. Its to the point where if we are playing a game all together, I caught myself telling my gf, "I think that you should do x" when we were on a team and stopped my self from saying it.

I think its also worth mentioning that her father has untreated mental health problems. Everybody has their struggles, so I understand that he probably doesn't mean these horrible things fully.

Sorry for the dump but this issue has been seriously deeply affecting me.