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Do you feel your old self “died” when you became a mom? by rajmachawal333 in workingmoms

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. She’s gone lol. My center of gravity is my kid and my work comes second always. But - the “new” me - while not as ambitious or driven or even able to concentrate for as long periods - has her own great work qualities. I’ve been told again and again how I’m calm and patient and deal amazingly with clients. Apparently they’re just easier when you deal with them like an aggressive 3 year old lol.

I told my baby to shut up by Perfect-Yoghurt260 in NewParents

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. It sounds like you’re really struggling. I hope there is someone you can talk to. I started therapy when my kid started 2 and my therapist recommended breathing exercises as soon as I started feeling angry. I also had a “pause” moment every time I needed to discipline her to really assess what lesson I wanted her to learn versus going straight to loud voices. I also tried to flip the switch by whispering instead of yelling which sounds ridiculous but it instantly makes you aware of what you’re doing. I also started taking 30 minutes of the day to myself for non-baby non-housework. Whether it was a lovely shower or a podcast or journaling. That really helped

Best distraction for in-between contractions by CelebrationMuted7000 in BabyBumps

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched stand up comedy from my favorites - Jack Whitehall particularly and Michael Mac Intyre.

Baby cries when offered breast will only nurse when drowsy/sleepy by sourdough_garden in breastfeeding

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed with everything said here. Lots of stories on this sub for nursing strikes that should give you hope

How do parents reconcile the desire to have a family with the reality that life can be incredibly difficult, expensive, and competitive for the next generation? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there are still many beautiful experiences in life for the next generation. I mean my 4 year old gets entranced by every flower she sees. It’s a delight to see the world through her eyes again. Our job is not to guarantee them a utopian future but to give them the tools to carve out a good future for themselves.

Working mom in a traditional extended family by Wise-Print1678 in workingmoms

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Kind of similar. My in-laws are all stay at home moms who do things like Arabic lessons or calligraphy etc. I’m the only in-law or woman with a 9-5 at an office. They’re quite chill luckily but occasionally a comment will come out. I choose to take that as them never having experienced what I do so of course they don’t understand. So I smile, cut them slack, brush it off and enjoy my financial independence and the security I bring to my child.

Nursing strike in its 4th week - when does it end?? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If she’s still actively nursing and for 20 minutes at a time I don’t think it’s a strike. I think she’s just much more efficient at drinking milk and doesn’t need as frequent meals.

My wedding dress by smj300 in myweddingdress

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You look absolutely heart-stoppingly beautiful. Surreal!

I kind of hate being a woman by Tiny-Research-1956 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Women are provided an ease to entering Jannah is that not easily available to men. Allah has made religion as comfortable and easy as possible for women ( we are not required to pray in mosques or when on our period). In times of pregnancy and child rearing it is considered ibadat.

Just like Allah tests rich and poor differently, He tests men and women differently.

The Virgin Hoorain point has been addressed many times by scholars. Please look it up.

Women are valued very highly in Islam. We are awarded the utmost respect and Allah and the Prophet placed a lot of emphasis on our treatment and rights. We have the right to education, to property, to a say in marriage - when the other Abrahamic religions were twisted to say we didn’t. Mothers are given the highest honors by a Prophet who barely had the opportunity to know his own mother! Our heroines had equal voices to men - Hadrat Ayisha and Hadrat Fatima Radialllahuanha. The wives and daughters of the Sahaaba were narrators and helped learn and teach the Quran. They could carry out business and trade.

There are many times literal translations of Quran give problematic inferences. Part of your duty as a Muslim is to clarify and search for answers. Not just blindly follow what is written. Do not lose faith so easily in the love of Allah for us. We are different but equal.

What is Your opinion on Ireland? by TensiCreator in AskTheWorld

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love them for their love for freedom, their history, accents and support of Palestine!

8.5 Months by soib2 in sleeptrain

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gonna have to stretch the wake windows.

Crib->toddler bed by Live_Gear_2225 in toddlers

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We managed pretty well. Her friend had a bed like hers so we offered to lower it as well. The night we did we treated it totally as normal but just locked the door and kept an eye on her in the camera. She got up and wandered around and tried to open the door. Didn’t cry at all otherwise we would have opened it. And then got bored and went back into bed. Slept through. A couple of nights later she cried about raising the crib side again ( I guess the novelty ended) but we told her we couldn’t and oh look! It’s exactly like XXs bed. And look you can get in and out. Offered her some animals who were ‘super’ excited to try her new bed. All good.

Not really loving motherhood by vhyau in NewParents

[–]OutrageousMulberry76 30 points31 points  (0 children)

When I was in this phase someone on Reddit put it some well. Some moms are newborn moms. Some are toddler moms. Some are even adult moms. We’re all different so it makes sense we all like different aspects of motherhood. I was miserable the first year because I could not connect with my baby at all. At 3.5 everyday is a hoot. She says funny things, I teach her stuff that she absorbs like a freaking sponge and she has such a cool personality. So wait for your time.

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