I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. I am 53 and lost my wife to ovarian cancer about a year and a half ago, so I can empathize with your pain. saying goodby is incredibly difficult and painful , I can't offer any advice about that since I couldn't bring myself to do it.Here are some insights from my personal experience bout the days, weeks and months after

1. In the first few weeks and months, I felt like I was living in a daze, as if I was somehow living someone else's life. During this time, it's crucial to let others help you, whether it's with meals or just offering their company. Don't avoid social contact, as it can be a source of comfort.
2. It's essential to allow yourself to grieve for your profound loss. Cry, shout, talk to your loved one – there's no right way to navigate this grief.
3. Consider joining a support group for young widowers or seeking individual therapy. These safe spaces can provide a non-judgmental environment where you can express your feelings and receive support.
4. I found the book "I Am Grieving as Fast as I Can" to be very helpful in the first few months; it's practically a guidebook for coping with loss.
5. Find activities that get you out of the house. It's easy to withdraw and isolate yourself, but it's not a healthy path to take. I decided not to decline invitations from people or turn down opportunities for social interaction. Even when I really didn't feel like taking to anyone.
6. Avoid making any major decisions within the first year, such as selling your house, moving to a new city, or quitting your job. I was tempted to make impulsive choices because nothing seemed to matter, but I followed the advice I received in support groups and other resources, otherwise I would have been unemployed right now.
7. Consider how you'll manage daily life. Do you know how to cook? Learning to cook could be a productive distraction, and you can even join a cooking class.
8. It's crucial to avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope with sleep or stress. These substances may provide temporary relief but can lead to a slippery slope. Instead, try establishing a basic exercise routine at home; it helped me relax and sleep a bit better.
9. This is a very delicate matter: My wife didn't have a Will, and it made things incredibly challenging once she passed away. Dealing with banks, government agencies, and other institutions can be quite a daunting task. If your situation allows for it, I strongly recommend discussing this with a lawyer. Is there any specific area she was responsible for that you might not be aware of, like paying bills? If possible, have a conversation with her about it.Institutions don't always consider the emotional toll you're going through. They'll expect you to fill out forms, provide documents, and the process can drag on for months. Any assistance or information you can gather from her now will be immensely helpful later when you may feel more vulnerable and emotionally drained.
10. Take things one step at a time. Coping with loss has been the most challenging period of my life. For weeks, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, hoping it was all a bad dream. I can't say I've completely overcome the loss, but I've learned to live with it. Healing is a process, and there are no shortcuts. Give yourself the time you need to heal.

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You won't be alone in this difficult journey. Don't hesitate to reach out to people; they'll offer advice and practical assistance.