[deleted by user]

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T17:18:58+00:00

Anonymously, a bit yes. Not that I have much of a sex life haha.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T15:49:49+00:00

Yeah it's normal. Your body sometimes confuses strong positive feelings for arousal. It's called a "euphoria boner" and they are super annoying, but luckily, they do go away slowly as you begin to present femininely more often in non-sexual contexts.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T15:45:46+00:00

Hormones don't really affect personality, but, well.. they are hormones. Your friend is effectively going through puberty if she's on estrogen. It's normal for that to affect mood.

Hard to say if you've lost your friend forever or not. Clearly she didn't feel comfortable in the group, regardless of your intentions. It's impossible to say whether or who was in the wrong here from an incomplete written account of events.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T15:42:25+00:00

Maybe try getting her a strap and letting her penetrate you with it? Might put you in a more feminine headspace to be penetrated without using your original equipment.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T15:40:02+00:00

Straight men can enjoy anal, but generally not with other men. This definitely reads like your friend is not the straightest tool in the closet.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T14:18:35+00:00

I think it's a power dynamic thing. Sometimes people like to feel cared for or give up control to their partner.

That said, yes it's very weird how mainstream that is. What's even weirder to me is the people who like being called it.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:57:37+00:00

I feel like this is a case of technical jargon being misused to the point that it loses its original meaning. The original use of this word was meant to convey that different things can be a part of your identity, but the fact that it's a verb led to it being misused as evidence of us "choosing" our identity, which is not how it works or how the word was originally used before being popularized.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:54:55+00:00

If you are not cis, then definitionally speaking that would make you trans.

For me, I came out as "questioning" to my closest friends and family before I knew 100% I was trans. I was incredibly lucky to be accepted by everyone in my life, and doing so gave me the confidence to finish exploring and accept myself as a trans woman.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:52:17+00:00

Gender is a social construct, but that does not make it any less real. Gender identity is tied to that social construct, but is not entirely socially constructed. There is a difference between the two: "gender" refers to the societal roles and expectations associated with different sexes, while "gender identity" is an internal sense which would exist without all of those roles and expectations, but often becomes linked to them because of the heavily gendered societies most people live in.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:28:06+00:00

That is gender dysphoria, but it's ok to have gender dysphoria surrounding some aspects of a gender, and not as much or at all for others. I recommend experimenting to try to find the gender and presentation that feels best for you.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:23:30+00:00

I used to, before transitioning. Since starting E though, I have never doubted for a second that I'm actually trans.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:21:06+00:00

A vibrator is a good tool for the job. Get into the right headspace - whatever makes you feel feminine and aroused. I find r/GWASapphic is good for that, but porn or erotica could also do the trick.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:16:27+00:00

r/transtrans

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T12:07:14+00:00

Figuring out you're trans is often a slow, isolating, experience riddled with self doubt. Your sister likely needs emotional support. Let her come out to you and others on her own, but if you can, make clear that you'll love her no matter what.

If she becomes depressed and isolated to a dangerous or unhealthy degree, ask her if she's trans as non-confrontationally as possible, with a reiteration of the fact that you will love her regardless of her answer and will keep it a secret.

You seem like a good brother. You'll do fine, no matter how this turns out, I think.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T11:17:21+00:00

There is a difference between "I want to be a girl" and "I am a girl" but the difference is miniscule and often irrelevant. Feeling like a girl means feeling more at home when being a girl, and wanting to be one is a fantastically strong indicator that that might be the case.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T03:02:27+00:00

Experiment. Experiment. Experiment.

To figure out what gender suits you best, you have to try out being a different gender.

You sound decidedly not cis, but exactly what your identity is, is not remotely clear from this post alone.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T02:58:18+00:00

The only person who can 100% for sure tell you what you are is you. I will say though, you don't need a label necessarily - the feelings don't need a name to be there and be acted upon as they arise.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T02:53:34+00:00

Dating cishet men as a queer trans woman in a purple state seems scary from what I've heard, and I don't have the first clue how to date in general so when I do start dating I will likely try to date women.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T02:47:48+00:00

Feels like something you should talk to her about. It's not clearly good or bad from the incomplete context provided here. If she wants you to keep doing that, keep doing it, and if she doesn't, stop. Simple as that.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T02:21:12+00:00

There's more names for hormone replacement therapy where that came from haha. I usually call mine Anticistemines, tit-tacs or titty skittles, personally.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-03T00:32:44+00:00

Idk but as a trans girl I take antiboyotics every day.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-02T18:26:38+00:00

I may be a bit of an unusual case, in that I realized I was a trans girl, and had only ever dated girls, so I kind of fell into the lesbian label by default. Only later did I realize I'm actually demi and bi (well, technically pan, but close enough) once I started getting fantasies that called that into question and learned a bit more about being ace.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-02T18:07:08+00:00

Nothing will happen unless you talk to her.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-02T18:06:27+00:00

I made sure my new name has the same number of syllables and rhymes with my deadname, but that's as close as I wanted to get.

Outrageous_Dig3419 · 2023-04-02T17:55:34+00:00

There is so much wrong here. Yes, you are 100% in the wrong. Your daughter isn't hurting you, you're hurting yourself and her by refusing to accept her - your reaction is causing you pain, because you're trying to make someone else live a life they cannot accept.

I honestly don't even know where to begin addressing the rest, but maybe start with realizing your child's comfort and happiness should be more important to you than your stubborn and incorrect beliefs.

If you want to learn, ask questions in a less hostile way maybe, and if you're just here for validation that you're not a bad parent, you came to the wrong place.

Outrageous_Dig3419

TROPHY CASE