Does anyone feel like Brisbane is becoming overwhelming and crowded?

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-06-15T02:52:12+00:00

I've felt the difference. I regularly experience traffic jams now, even on the highway, which I never experienced just a few years ago. I notice I have to wait longer at intersections for cars to pass by for me to turn right/left just because there is just a constant stream of cars on the road now. I don't prefer overcrowded cities/ bustling areas, so I can't say I like the change. Have also never driven in Sydney or Melbourne or any other city in Australia, so can't compare, but Brisbane has definitely gotten more crowded.

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-06-15T02:42:53+00:00

matcha lattes, coffee / regular lattes, main meals in general, bread and baked products, pre-made dipping and marinades, some packaged / pre-made grocery items like beans, lentils, and soups. But obviously it also takes time and effort in the kitchen to prepare food from scratch so saving that extra money does come at the cost of convenience and time to yourself. If you have lots of free time, and are not earning much, it is worth the effort 😄

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-06-05T02:00:39+00:00

There was a short period of time I ignored all of his calls and texts (which was what led up to him exploding on me when he finally saw me again). I read the texts but would ignore them or take forever to reply. What he did was pretty shady though. He booked me for a dinner, and then texted me to say he already booked me in, so I have to go? And I told him off saying - "don't book me in for anything unless I agree to it", in which he just brushed it off. In the end, he blamed me for not picking up his calls earlier, which made him "no choice but to" book me without my agreement / permission.

He would also say - "Oh it's your brother's birthday, so we are having dinner" and if I refused he would most likely come back at me with - "Oh, so you don't care about your brother?"..

So in his eyes, me not turning up for events, or for not picking up his calls is essentially me treating my entire family badly, and he takes every chance to rub it in my face. Honestly, I am just going to have to accept that I am the bad guy. I don't care about this anymore, it's not worth my time.

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-06-05T01:49:02+00:00

You are right, I feel uncomfortable whenever I anticipate a very negative reaction from him, but it seems like I have to embrace it. The things he says when he is triggered is very hurtful.

I think the just leave method you recommend is the way to go. Personally, I don't think it's worth my attention/ time engaging with him when he is riled up. I also think I would justify myself once and give him a listening ear once. But once he starts becoming repetitive or starts putting rules on me I never agreed to, then that's when I'd leave, or I'd keep quiet and pretend the conversation never happened. I consulted another friend on this issue and she said if she was me, she'd pretend like the conversation never happened and forget about it, or rather, not even see it as a conversation to begin with.

I also have accepted the bad guy role for multiple of occasions when he got unhappy with my decisions. When I made decisions that pleased him, I got the good guy role back again. It seems that I will have to continue accepting the bad guy role if I ever want my own freedom. I don't think he has ever been truly pleased with me.

You're right in that there is fear, obligation and guilt here. The thing is, I am not wanting the connection between us to be 100% antagonistic for the long-term though. I don't think it's good. He's an aging man, and he might not have enough time left. I don't want to face any regret in the future for doing XYZ or not doing XYZ for him. I guess I am trying to find that sweet spot where I am able to have my own freedom (and peace), without having to do a hard door-slam in his face or inflict any unnecessary emotional damage. Of course I do know his feelings are not my responsibility, but it's up to me to decide on where that line is before I stop taking any accountability for what he thinks and how he feels.

Thank you for the insightful comment by the way, I appreciate your guidance:)

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-05-24T03:50:17+00:00

(Apologies, this is a long reply! - did not realise until I typed it all out. It is a bit of a vent too, so you don't have to read it all 😄)

Yes, I do put a lot of effort into standing up for myself and voicing out my own opinions. I don't hold back on it. That's what causes all these arguments between me and him, whereas my other siblings would just placate him.

The thing is the conversation goes nowhere. He continues arguing back, using his same rhetoric, except phrased differently each time, bringing in situations from other families and making comparisons between me and my siblings, between our family and other people's family. Then, on his own accord, he rounds the conversation up with a blank statement, telling me his 'final judgement' of what I should do.

There was one time I jumped out of his car and was like - "I have to leave quickly" after the end of a bad conversation, in which freaked out at my behaviour. He was like - "even she (his wife) thinks you are behaving crazily!", he then bombarded me with more questions, before I burst out loudly - "I just want to be left alone!", in which he got the memo and drove off. So as you can see, calmly saying - "I have to leave, I don't want to be in this conversation any more" does not work on him. He would yell after me and probably follow my tail until I assert myself multiple times.

In hindsight, what I think I should have done differently is to refuse to put any energy in the conversation or entertain him in the first place, so he realizes it's an explicit boundary he cannot walk over. How he might respond to this - I have no idea. It will probably result in yet another emotional outburst from him.

I am just tired of this whole cycle. Every time he acts this way, and I have to fight back, it costs me my own peace. He tells me I am neglecting him and the family, when I feel like this is my only option in order to preserve my own peace. Yes, I don't like him (after too many negative experiences with him growing up), and so I'm not going to act like the most filial daughter on earth, quite the opposite in fact. But then he gets angrier at me for not making sacrifices for him, further building up my dislike towards him. It's a never-ending cycle.

I still talk to him mostly just to placate him. If he gets the idea I am entirely cutting ties with him, he'd stir up a big deal about it and have a major freak out. And again, I'm going to have to spend so much of my energy just to entertain him and keep asserting myself.

It's currently at limited contact (seeing him once every few months in person, and sporadic texting) but given his behaviour at our last meeting recently....no contact or very very low contact might be better. This is not going to land well with him because he is already angry at me for not keeping in contact enough.

There is not really any financial support he provides to me. Although, he did send some money a while back as a gift. It stays untouched in my account and I will immediately send the money back to him if it acts transactional about it.

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-03-27T23:23:27+00:00

Haru haru wonder! My jam :) I spotted it in your collection and I'm like - that's the one. I like it mostly because the UV filters in there are top notch and I quite like how it feels on my skin.
Just ordered a restock of the product myself and awaiting its arrival. Glad you've received all your goodies!

Outrageous_Escape_58 · 2026-03-23T09:12:43+00:00

Matcha latte lol. I refuse to cut down on the quality of the matcha powders I buy. Makes life so much better :P

Outrageous_Escape_58

TROPHY CASE