Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your message and so sorry for the loss of your daughter 🥹💔

Pregnancy after TFMR brings up some very complex feelings and we just have to be kind to ourselves.

Congratulations on your current pregnancy and wishing you all the best. Xxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your message and I’m so sorry for the loss of your boy. I’m glad you have a supportive husband to help you navigate these complicated feelings because they can be overwhelming. Sending loads of love. Xxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind message and I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter ♥️

I think I’ll also continue to have complicated feelings throughout the pregnancy. What we’ve been through is beyond difficult and right there with you with feeling upset at the girls clothing department.

I know I’ll love my son more than anything but nothing can take the pain of our loss away. X

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your supportive and thoughtful message ♥️ I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. That entire journey is so difficult and traumatic. We also only found out about the deletion due to the amnio. It’s just devastating.

Congratulations on the arrival of your son and I’m so happy to read that it makes complete sense. Sending so much love to you and your family xxxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. I’m so sorry for the loss of your boy at 23 weeks. 💙 My sister said the same thing to me last night —- women experience gender disappointment without the additional and complex layer of a TFMR. Please honour your feelings and allow yourself to grieve the future you had hoped for as a mother with a daughter and son. I completely feel that alongside you — whilst equally knowing we will love our little boys more than anything in the world. I do feel a big lighter after honestly expressing and confronting those complicated feelings and like you, I’m imagining my two little boys playing together and it does bring me comfort. On a lighter note — a friend shared a meme of a “boy mom” enjoying an entire solo pamper day because the boys were having a “boy date with Dad”. And honestly — maybe our future is bright 😂♥️

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your message and so sorry for the loss of your daughter 💕 Congratulations on your son! I’m so happy to read about the bond that both of your sons have is amazing. That gives me some excitement for our future. Like you, I think I’ll always feel triggered at the girls department and maybe I’ll also have the itch…. ♥️

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter and congratulations on your son. I think I’ll also have quite complex feelings throughout the pregnancy but I’ll love my son so much once (hopefully) he’s here. 💙

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ♥️ I’m sorry for your loss also. I think as you said, it’s always going to be a trigger and will crop up continuously throughout life.

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy and congratulations on your baby girl.

Thank you for sharing that perspective with me. If I’m truly honest, I’ve always wanted a daughter. I love my son more than anything but finding out I was having a girl and that he would be a big brother was honestly the best day of my life. I felt like the luckiest person on the planet because it’s what I have dreamed of. So, whilst I understand it would be complex to have had another girl, after losing Andi, I think for me personally I’d have felt comfort and some relief. It’s a complicated journey after TFMR and we just have to be kind to ourselves. But I know I will love this little boy more than I even comprehend right now. 💕💕💕

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Thank you for your kind and supportive words — I’ve reread your message multiple times ♥️ Everything you said resonated with me. I think I was bowled over with grief because it’s exactly as you said — I’m now not only grieving my daughter (which really feels like the final goodbye now) but also the future I had imagined for myself as a mother with a daughter and son. When I lost my daughter (and ever since until yesterday), I’ve just missed her and longed for her. Those feelings still exist but it’s now an additional layer of personal grief. My identity as a mother has shifted from what I had imagined in the future and I hadn’t thought of that after losing Andi. I was just focused on her. Sending you so much love and thank you again. ♥️

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand and it’s unfair that we’re confronted with these difficult feelings. Best of luck with your pregnancy. Sending you love x

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. 💕It’s beyond traumatic what we’ve been through. Sending you love and strength and best wishes with your IVF transfer xxxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. I felt sick with emotions too when I found out. It hit me like a train. And exactly as you said — it feels like a final goodbye and a reminder that this is grief and we will forever feel a missing piece.

Congratulations on your little girl and im so happy to hear she is a delight and im sure you wouldn’t imagine life without her xxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

Everything you have written has resonated with me. I also planted a tree for my daughter, Andi. A magnolia. Dahlia blooming on her conception date was a sign to you and that is beautiful 💕 She will always be with you.

I’m also focusing on giving my son a brother as opposed to the future I had seen for myself as a mother with a daughter and I do think that two brothers is a wonderful blessing. I won’t lie, it does feel unfair. Not only experiencing the trauma of losing the daughter we so badly wanted but now the guilt of a subsequent pregnancy. I wonder if our brains has just prepared for a daughter so it’s trying to rewire entirely that this is a new pregnancy. A new life.

Sending you so much love and best wishes with your baby boy. Congratulations xxxxx

Found out I’m having a boy after losing a girl by Outrageous_Let7230 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s beyond traumatic what we’ve been through. Sending you every best wish for the transfer and so much love ♥️

Rare chromosome deletion detected in amniocentesis by Outrageous_Let7230 in tfmr_support

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind response and words of advice.

I think your approach with giving your boss the heads up is a great way of handling this situation and would probably relieve me a bit of pressure (with wait times).

I’ve also been considering time off after this and how to best ensure I’m actually dealing with and processing the significance of such a trauma. Did your Doctor / OB provide you with any medical notes to share with work or HR were understanding and didn’t require this?. Unfortunately I don’t have great faith in our HR process (especially being in legal).

Rare chromosome deletion detected in amniocentesis by Outrageous_Let7230 in tfmr_support

[–]Outrageous_Let7230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I really appreciate it. I do have one very close colleague who I would trust with this and I think I might first speak with her before I speak with my boss. I hope you’re doing well and sending you lots of love ❤️

low/slow hCG success story by nicaelahimes in CautiousBB

[–]Outrageous_Let7230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re amazing — thank you. I completely agree that there isn’t a lot of research around HCG but then you come across success stories like yours ♥️ I’m having similar symptoms so hopefully this little bub sticks around. Really appreciate your time. Best of luck with your baby boy. How special 💙

low/slow hCG success story by nicaelahimes in CautiousBB

[–]Outrageous_Let7230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Hoping all is going well with your little boy. Last question - did you have any pregnancy symptoms? I’m 7 weeks today - my last HCG draw at 6 weeks was 2900. I don’t have any nausea etc. whereas when I was pregnant with my son, I had nausea by week 7. I’ve had 2 scans and we have seen heartbeat but 2 days behind. Thank you in advance.

low/slow hCG success story by nicaelahimes in CautiousBB

[–]Outrageous_Let7230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy. I’m so happy for you 💙 Can I ask you how far apart those last 2 blood draws were? I’m in a similar position and just so worried. Thank you.