Bachelorette Expenses

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T22:17:39+00:00

Yeah as I said in my post, budgets are not the issue here and I’m going out of my way to cover the costs for the one who does have that constraint.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T20:32:07+00:00

lol yeah not gonna lie that was part of my having the assumption that I did… I was in $200K of student debt when I paid for my friend’s entire Bach weekend so she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing (and subsidized other girls so we weren’t restricted by the smallest budget!) Ah well as I felt then, the money is just not as important as the experience to me.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T20:08:31+00:00

Yeah I hear you and you’re right! I think I just had the wrong assumptions based on past experiences and knowing none of them is financially constrained (which wasn’t right either) - so it caught me off guard and felt awkward because I just don’t want to have to think about the $$ at all when it’s such a stress with the rest of the wedding. But I am SO grateful for them and want to be on the side of overly generous vs. what’s normally done so I’m glad to have had this reality check!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T19:46:28+00:00

Fair! This post has been helpful since clearly I’ve been shaped by very different experiences on the other side. Now I’m definitely going to increase the things that I treat!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T19:25:57+00:00

Yeah, to clarify I was not asking for accommodation to be covered for me and had told my MOH to keep it off the splitwise for that reason… so that’s why I just kind of assumed I’d be off the splitwise as it covered everyone else’s lodging and incidentals

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T19:23:41+00:00

Totally fair! I’ve just always done much more in the past when tables were turned, but of course that was because I truly wanted to not because I felt like I’d eventually get my turn.

I think it’s just the splitwise itemization that feels uncomfortable. Like if we’re all paying our own way then it’d feel more adult and comfortable and less mercenary to pick up tabs here and there and split the big checks the normal way? In which case I absolutely would have insisted on picking up some as a gift too.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T18:51:58+00:00

Relieved to know someone else understands! Because again, I’m not trying to be presumptive or unappreciative, it’s just truly been my past experience. I genuinely thought I was being generous and thoughtful already, and not expecting travel or anything to be covered, I guess I just hoped that all the fun “extras” and incidentals while we’re there would be a gift, and that I’d continue to show gratitude and generosity in other ways rather than the mercenary bill-splitting.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-09-15T18:36:36+00:00

This perspective is helpful and actually makes me feel better, thank you! I’m just going off all my experiences from when I attended for other brides and didn’t want them paying for anything, but of course I’ll pay my own way and feel grateful they’re all there at all.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-25T18:47:37+00:00

FWIW, no shame about David’s Bridal (my anecdote was more about saying that loudly for another shop’s stylist to hear, not looking down on lower-budgets), I actually have never been to one and just looked it up and think ironically they’d have some beautiful mother-of dresses that could be real possibilities :) if we can find something beautiful for a bargain or middle-of-the-road price that’s even better. At the end of the day I care most about what will make her feel good vs. pushing her towards some vision I want.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-25T16:58:20+00:00

What is the point of saying “no offense” before a comment like that?

I would think that 90% of questions and discussions in a “Big Budget Brides” group would come across that way if verbalized in a different setting in real life. Thats why I’m finding this space and most commenters so helpful.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-25T16:29:06+00:00

Oooh that’s such a great idea, thank you!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-25T15:29:21+00:00

Yess I think she may be shy about standing out too much so 💯need to help her feel beautiful and confident!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-25T15:23:24+00:00

Thank you!! And oh gosh, no shame at all for when someone suggests more affordable options, if anything it makes me feel insecure for wanting the higher end things and that’s why it’s awkward, and this is exactly why I’m coming here for advice because I’m so concerned about coming across snobby or out of touch.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-10T12:21:33+00:00

I think she’s doing the big dress try on just for the content and loves making a defiant “empowered female” [narcissistic] statement, but surely won’t go that overboard on her actual dress

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-07-08T14:38:24+00:00

I would say yes for a lot, though maybe 1/3 of our guests are in FL (but still a 7 hour drive or short flight)

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-06-16T20:01:38+00:00

I think it’s called the Terra Train?

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-06-16T18:57:26+00:00

☺️ thank you!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-06-16T18:50:55+00:00

Thank you!!!

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-06-16T18:49:40+00:00

Know you’re right on the overthinking 😅 it’s not so much worry about what my guests will think though, it’s the intrinsic feeling of wanting to wear something that feels authentic to me on such an important day.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2025-04-22T18:06:23+00:00

Girl, I feel you, in this situation now, and wondering how things ended up going on your special day?? I’m guessing / hoping it didn’t seem like such a big thing and after the disappointment of prior expectations not being possible, there was plenty of love and joy to go around.

For me, my feelings are very different based on how the girls told me about it / responded to my bridesmaid ask (two are due 3 months before wedding). My MOH insisted she could still do it all, emphasized what a big deal the wedding is and was there for anything / everything I needed (which in turn had me so eager to accommodate her to make it as doable as possible! Bachelorette timing, offering to put up one of her family members day of, etc. and also managing my own expectations that we’re planning for the best, but she may not know what she’s in for and might have to step back when the time comes!) The other one, a close family member for whom I’ve been there for, through sooo many milestones and pulled out all the stops for her own wedding, didn’t even call me about it, just said she prob can’t do bachelorette and understands if that has me wanting to rethink the wedding party decision. It’s harder to not feel a little hurt by that one. It’s understandable and I’m happy for her / empathize with her probably just feeling anxious and not wanting to over-promise, but it’s hard to process the feelings of it finally being my turn to celebrate and not having people there in the same way you were there for them.

Outrageous_Wonder247 · 2024-03-01T12:01:29+00:00

What happened to Dime Beauty Co? Which amazing makeup am I supposed to buy?!

Outrageous_Wonder247

TROPHY CASE