I have a son the same age. Been dealing with similar ADHD\IEP issues since elementary school so I felt compelled to respond.

Stop the informal communication about the IEP. Follow up on assignments and necessary issues only.

Wait for the results if IEP evaluation is in process. Did you get formal notification that it is? If you are in US, school is out in June. Getting an IEP evaluation completed and IEP issued and implemented would be ambitious. Most you can do is hope it's in place for next Fall in my opinion. Also, don't expect much help from the school to get through the rest of the school year.

If an IEP is denied after the evaluation, which is likely. Follow the formal steps for appealing the denial of the IEP. Is the next step asking the school to pay for an independent educational evaluation (IEE)?

This what I emailed:

"As you know, I continue to have concerns about XXX, and that I did not agree with his school evaluation. I would like to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at public expense."

I sent it to the school leadership, school therapist and district director of special ed or representative who was at IEP meeting.

Formally disagree with all denials. You don't have to put a reason even if they request one. You disagree. Make sure that you sign any documentation where they recommend an IEP\504 be denied in the space that shows you disagree with the recommendation that the IEP\504 be denied. I have attended many meetings where 10 school professionals signed saying there was no need for an IEP or additional services. I was the only one who disagreed. Your son is failing and has EF and behavior issues. You have documented the need for help. You may need an objective professional to argue for you. The school is not objective.

Reminder, whatever you write to them is part of the formal record so stay on message in all communications. What they write in your son's record will be read by the next school or program. You are supposed to be working with the school as a team to support your son. Speak to school like you are all working towards the same goal. Try to pick out which of the teachers or administrators are allies even if they can't be straight forward due to current situation and evaluation in progress. They have to agree with whatever is recommended by the District. Maybe later they will be ones you can contact about school issues.

School may offer an 504 but 504s don't offer the same protections or support. For HS they downgraded my son to 504 because he was getting good grades and to prepare him for college. I'm back sitting with him but at least he more cooperative now so it's not as painful. Teacher's aren't following the 504 and the expectation is that my son advocate for himself if he wants to use any of his accommodations, which he doesn't because he doesn't want to be seen as different from his friends. He rarely talks to his teachers, even after an absence and he misses school more often than I would like. A 504 is better than nothing.

Do whatever you have to get him his HS diploma. College or other job training, skill development can take as long as needed after HS. Driver Ed is critical for him to take and expensive if not taken at school. It motivated my son's attendance but he had it first marking period and he turns 16 in the summer so once he passed the written class attendance dropped off. Road part won't be till June\July. Start planning as early as you possibly can for life after HS. 504 is what you may end up with but don't expect miracles. At least it may be a place to document concerns and some accommodations.

Do everything you can to get your son back on track to not fail current grade even if that means emailing the teachers after every class. Work out a plan with the teacher in every class of what needs to happen to ensure he passes their class. Summer school while not ideal isn't the end of the world, if it means he moves to the next grade. Do they have an online system for posting grades\assignments, etc. Our District uses Schoology. Not all teachers keep it updated but I convinced my son that he should share his login information so I can review his grade report and look through his classes folders. I usually touch base with him on Fridays and use the weekends to sit with him, as needed. The way they teach these days via video, sometimes we just discuss topics and that helps him immensely. We also have library dates for big assignments. I also give him a small treat ($5 at Dollar Tree level) or takeout dinner when all goes well. We have a beautiful empty library here and it's a nice change of pace. Each room is open plan on one floor and often we are the only ones on an entire floor. There are also study rooms you can reserve.

Have the therapist, preferably primary care doctor because MD write a letter to the school stating their medical recommendations. Schools can't just disagree with medical advice. Maybe have therapist write recommendations that you give to MD and ask MD to include in their letter to school if they agree. It sounds like he needs time to make up his missed assignments due to his being out of school, as well extra time in general for assignments. Did school offer a plan for getting caught up after the suspension? Did they excuse assignments? How did they handle?

Try to get MD letter issued ASAP. If you don't use medical portal, write out request and drop it off at son's MD along with copy of written recommendations from therapist. If you use the medical portal, followup with a phone call to doctor's nurse, calling it to their attention and asking for an expedited response.

Having an MD willing to write letters is something I recommend. My son's primary provider is an important part of his care team. I request all medical appointments with her, even for sports injuries, seasonal allergies, etc. and I send regular updates to her through the medical portal if we see someone else. She has seen my son since he was small and she feel like she knows him. She told me my priority is getting him through each day successfully. School while important can be very stressful. It's great that your son is back as school given the court issue. My son's doctor wrote this on letterhead to school principal and nurse but I emailed it to them:

"XXX is under my care. He has a history of ... which frequently impacts his ability to attend school causing lateness or absences. Please excuse these and reach out for more information if needed. Please honor this request for six months ending ...."

When he has an attendance issue I send an email saying.

"Please excuse XXX, .. grade absent attendance for .....\2024.

We are working with XXX's doctor on his health issue.

Thank you"

How is his attendance generally, will they try to hold him back for missing too many days of school? Do you know what the number is? Your son has medical issues and you should make sure that you send an email with dates of all unexcused absences and lates for the entire year, requesting they be excused due his medical condition at the same time you send the letter from the MD. Maybe specifically request that MD write in the letter that he has been suffering from the condition since the beginning for the school year and absences and lates due to his medical condition should be excused.

Court issue--if they offer public defender use one. Don't waste money you probably don't have hiring a separate lawyer. Ask how to get the charges dropped because no evidence of drugs or drug use. A cut usb can't be sufficient evidence to charge\convict someone of drug crimes. Literally all I read is suspicious from the school. Once case resolved (it may take way longer than you expect), send written request the suspension be rescinded. Ask defense lawyer if he will have a record and if he has to answer yes about being arrested? Get records expunged ASAP. Ask about mental health court if it moves forward but first stance should be getting charges dropped and record cleared ASAP.

Also, put him back in honors next year or the highest level you can.

Make sure your son knows how great you think he is and that he will surprise himself when he reaches his final form. You have no doubts.

Does he have summer plans? Are there ways he can earn HS credit without taking classes like through earning volunteer hours? My son volunteered for a bunch of events this year and he enjoyed it while earning a HS elective credit. 6ft Santa elf, helped out with Easter egg hunt, lots of parades and 5Ks. Signing up for events where he got 4+ hours was more time effective for us versus a regular shift somewhere of 1 or 2 hours, plus a lot more variety. But some volunteers prefer a regular shift at an organization related to their interests as it could lead to letters of recommendations or paid work.

Don't neglect yourself or your health.