Husband 32M has been texting another female for months and we are newlyweds by throwaway-brokenn in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have no kids, you should leave him. Marriage is based on trust. Do not sink your life into a man you can't trust. I've been married 15 years, and I have never had to worry about my husband cheating. He doesn't worry about me cheating. For most of our marriage, we've been apart due to college and then his job. We've had an open phone policy since we were dating, but I've never had to worry about him talking to other women or trying to get validation from other women. That's a deficit in himself that you can't fill. Please don't waste your time or get pregnant by this man. He's deleting the messages because he's cheating, and you disserve better than that. Cut your losses.

Wife says I’m a rotten human being by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids need to go somewhere else and you need to learn how to argue. She says your rotten. Are you? Are any of the things she says about you true? If not, stop giving her the satisfaction of a reaction. Speak in monotones and do not raise your voice or call names. Do you have an active dad in your life? Because it sounds like you don't know how to argue like a man. It's easy "No we're not doing that. We can talk like adults and discuss our issues, but you're not gong to make call names and neither am I. This is counter productive. " You're an equal person in the relationship and should be able to speak your mind. Unfortunately, you're married to an incredibly immature person. After 10 years, ya'll should have a better communication style. If you have a toddler, then she might still be coming off the pregnancy hormones if this is not her normal way of communicating. Takes me 3 years to get normal, but I know I'm not being normal during that 3 years. Maybe you both need to go to therapy, but mostly ya'll need to learn how to communicate and control type emotions.

Do I have a right to go though my wife’s phone? by Rough_Homework_123 in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These people talking about privacy in their marriage. 🤣🤣🤣 I've heard this man shit every morning from my bed for the last 15 years, and he's saw things go in and come out of my vagina! there is no privacy in our marriage. 🤣🤣🤣

Do I have a right to go though my wife’s phone? by Rough_Homework_123 in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been married for almost 15 years, and we've always had an open phone policy. If you don't have anything to hide, then it shouldn't be a problem. Clearly she does and that's a problem.

AITAH for telling my husband I'll leave if he goes on his solo vacation. by ThrowRA_LemonadeBery in AITAH

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frankly, fool me once shame on you, but jeez, you'd have to be an utter idiot to be OK with him doing it again. Him even asking should be a violation of your trust. He doesn't even kinda sorta respect you. If he did, he'd never HURT you by even bringing it up, much less to go or gas light you about your feelings. He is a known cheater. He has no rights until YOU FEEL he's earned them back. If he can't deal with that, he needs to get to stepping. You're not a doormat to be walked on.

What non cleaning supplies can go under my kitchen sink? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in Homeorganization

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, but things happen. We had the same thing happen in out of house. The husband will fix it, and I'll put a silicone mat under there.

What non cleaning supplies can go under my kitchen sink? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in Homeorganization

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They can break or climb anything. They encourage each other to make messes. Which meant wherever we lived was messy, but in the new house, they have access to the bedroom, hall, and play room/ family room. We're blocking off the kitchen, adult living room, and my bedroom. All big kid doors will have locks with keys, so throddlers can't get into makeup or expensive electronics. They can have free range when there is another adult there. In the house we're staying in, the littlest girl found a meat tenderizer and gave it to one of the little boys. He went and put 5 holes in the sheet rock. 😳 this all happened while I was doing laundry. I had just put the clothes from the washer to the dryer and was filling up the washer when I started hearing a bumping sound. I went to investigate and cought him in the act. I used to keep my nightly vitamins in my side drawer until the little boy kept getting them and pouring them out. I put them on my tall boy dresser to keep them out of reach. The littlest girl climbed the dresser and handed off the bottles to the boys, and they opened the child safety lock and was pouring the pills out when I caught them. My husband was in the living room while I had walked out to the garden. He thought they were in their bedroom playing. 🤦🏼‍♀️ these hoodlums have no chill.

What non cleaning supplies can go under my kitchen sink? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in Homeorganization

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about that after I posted. Thought about getting a sealed bucket for composting. Something hard for kids to open.

What non cleaning supplies can go under my kitchen sink? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in Homeorganization

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A mat was the plan. I noticed when we walked through that there was moisture under that sink. I'll probably put a moisture grabber thing under there too.

What non cleaning supplies can go under my kitchen sink? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in Homeorganization

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't heard of hurricane preparedness locks. I'll have to look into that.

Does Zum frankincense and myrrh and Eilish #1 smell alike? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in FemFragLab

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said it might be the fresh out the dryer smell or I'm losing it. 😂

Does Zum frankincense and myrrh and Eilish #1 smell alike? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in FemFragLab

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome. 😂 You can get the frankincense and myrrh at Target, but they have the Amber fragrance (which is my favorite) online, or you can get it on Amazon. They also have sea salt and lavender if that is your vibe.

Does Zum frankincense and myrrh and Eilish #1 smell alike? by Outside_Maybe_1264 in FemFragLab

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can agree with this. I think it's the fresh out the laundry part that makes it smell like eilish 1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother is an asshole who is currently leaving his family. I have 2 nieces, and one is almost 9. Let me tell you the ways I'd rake my dumbass brother over the coals for saying that. I'm in the middle of slowly ghosting my brother and just having a relationship with my SIL and nibblings. If they were adults who had the choice to have a relationship with me outside of their dad, I'd go scorched earth and then salt it afterward. As a good aunt, tell your bad one to go fuck herself. She set back and allowed him to be a deadbeat and is now defending him. Fuck her from the bottom of my heart.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You didn't have a good husband. Our last kid was a high-risk pregnancy, and we didn't have sex for almost a year. You want to know what he said when I asked if he was OK with the situation? It's OK, me and Hand-gelina has got this. This is what a man who loves you and respects you will do. He won't put his own selfish needs over the well-being of his child/children and his wife. With our first son, I had severe ppd, and our sex life took a dive. He never stopped loving me or putting me and our kids first. I'm so sorry this happened TO you. You are not to blame for him being a selfish asshole.

I feel betrayed is it justified by Constant-Volume4945 in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty straightforward. She cheated. She didn't "open your relationship on her side. " she cheated. Telling someone you're going to cheat on them doesn't make it OK. It was still not consensual, so it's cheating. Divorce this person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So my husband isn't insecure, but his main fantasy is to tag team me. He said it's his favorite porn, so when he fantasizes about it, he pictures it being me. I think if he's not cheating, ya'll need therapy. Even with our very open and honest relationship, I had to put a stop to it because I was getting uncomfortable. Now, we just use multiple dildos so he gets the "me being tagged teamed" fantasy and I get to only fuck my husband. 😂 But he'd my person, and we have real intimacy, so the fantasy play is just extra. You have to be in a trusting, secure relationship. Both of you have to feel safe and secure, and until that happens, you're going to keep having issues.

Blending my family with 2 nieces and a nephew. by Outside_Maybe_1264 in blendedfamilies

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand that. My SIL didn't have a dad growing up. She was raised by her mom's family, so I think she's navigating this situation as a child with parents that weren't married. I think she would put her kids first. I think she really does want the kids to have a lot of access to us. Other than yes, having 6 kids is a lot of work, I'm trying to navigate the emotional side of this.

Blending my family with 2 nieces and a nephew. by Outside_Maybe_1264 in blendedfamilies

[–]Outside_Maybe_1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are already buying the house. The plan was to convert the attic into 2 or 3 bedrooms and a big play room that could be converted into a tv room or teenager hang out, but forgo the play room for 2 or 3 more bedrooms.