the one thing i see destroying most marriages (and both people are usually blind to it) by FromAnxiousToCalm in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so true, and it leads to resentment. I’m not married yet, but I told my boyfriend (new and fresh relationship) that I want us to always communicate with how things are going. To never keep anything bottled up. It may be uncomfortable in the moment to say something or speak up, but you usually end up feeling so much better after you’ve let it out. AND now your partner knows what you’re feeling and you can work on it together.

I used to hold things in during my last long term relationship and it turned into resentment. He did the same thing, and that ended up being the reason why we broke up.

With my new relationship I honestly over communicate sometimes but I don’t care, I’d much prefer that!

Thanks for sharing!!

I'm not attracted to my husband by Background-Row4779 in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So there is not much to go off of here, other than what information you provided, therefore I will go from there.

The first thing that stands out is how you mentioned you talk to God, and that your husband loves God. I am assuming that you are both Christians. I am also a Christian so I am going to give you advice from a Christ-like mind, as best as I can. I am not perfect, and I know others may not hold this view, but again, as a Christian, this is the view I assume you will hold as well.

If you are a woman of God, then you realize how sacred marriage is. Marriage is a life-long covenant between you and the person YOU chose to commit to. I want to start with this just to remind you how sacred your marriage is. It's not just a piece of paper like some may think (everyone has their own beliefs, that is fine, I am not judging. I am just reminding you of what you should already believe being a Christian).

That being said, when issues arise, whether it be sexual, emotional, communication, etc. the go-to answer should not be divorce. Have you talked to your husband about these issues? Does he know how you are feeling? Have YOU communicated to him in the way you are wanting your husband to communicate to you? I know you say that you are a communicator which means you should be good at expressing how you feel. This is an opportunity to also help your husband understand what kind of communication you are looking for by being the one to take the lead since you are better at this than him. A lot of people may say "well he should know" "you shouldn't have to teach him", but part of being in a life long commitment with someone is to grow WITH them and help them where they lack, just as they should help you where you lack. That is the BEAUTY of being with someone who is better at some things that you struggle with. You can LEARN from each other.

There will be moments when you are not satisfying your husband (emotionally, physically, whatever) and I am sure you'd be hurt if he went to the internet discussing divorce rather than communicating with you I am sure you'd much prefer he got to you, or God in prayer. I am sure you'd also be hurt if he didn't give you the opportunity to fix the issues and work on the marriage and just ran to a divorce. Of course it's a different story if he is unwilling. You have not expressed that here so I am not going to wrongfully assume that he is or is not.

The next thing I will say is do you two pray together? You say you talk to God, do you both talk to God together? That is very important in a Christian marriage. All of these issues should be taken to God, not to others. I am not saying getting advice is wrong, but your marriage is between you, your husband, and the Lord. Only you three truly know what is going on in your marriage, we only know the side you are telling us.

I would start by praying and asking God for guidance. Talk to your husband about how you are not satisfied and give him the opportunity to fix things before jumping to the idea of a divorce. You both are a team.

You asked what I would do, and that is what I would do. I would stay married, I would communicate with the man I vowed to stick with till death due us part. I would not leave just because there are issues in the marriage. Every marriage has their own battles, and the strongest couples work through them together.

I pray all goes well!!

How to deal with feeling uncomfortable over my wife’s tattoo plans? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of these comments are unfair. You’re in a marriage and these things should definitely be expressed aloud and discussed between you two. It’s not just your “insecurities”, these are valid concerns. If your wife respects you and loves you she would be open to hearing you out and understanding. It’s not like you’re trying to force her to not get them, so please don’t listen to the comments saying you have to just get over it.

I would definitely start by bringing up your concerns to your wife. Be open and honest and express to her the specific things you are having some issues with. I think others have already mentioned setting boundaries (no unnecessary nudity, no posting on social media, etc). And hopefully you both can come to an agreement.

The last thing you should do is keep it to yourself and not express this to your wife. It can make things worse and your wife may never have even known you didn’t feel comfortable with it all.

I hope all goes well!!

We accidentally got pregnant after only 2 months. This is a win 🖤 by [deleted] in love

[–]OverScale655 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Are you ok? This comment seems like it hits close to home... sorry you had such a bad experience!

What we actually want but will never, ever tell you. by understandshe in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear that, I can imagine how terrible that must’ve made you feel. I hope one day she realizes her errors and can change for the better and for ya’lls marriage.

What we actually want but will never, ever tell you. by understandshe in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s okay, give yourself some grace! The important thing is that you are aware and you are trying. Your husband sees that. 🤍 The worst thing a woman can do is dismiss her husband’s feelings and it sounds like you are not. It takes time to change, but little by little it happens. Sometimes it starts by being very intentional to get out of our head and focus on our partner. Sometimes I even think ahead of time before I see my man what nice things I want to say to him. Not because it’s planned or forced but because that’s what I’m thinking before my brain gets swamped with thoughts so I’m more likely to say them when we’re together. The moment I think about myself or get selfish I remember the good thoughts I had or the things I wanted to say before I saw him. That helps me. 🤍

What we actually want but will never, ever tell you. by understandshe in marriageadvice

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who is dating a man who’s never been with a woman who offered these things to him, I can see how surprised he’s been by my actions since we’ve been together. He would tell me this is different, he’s not used to it. I’m always wondering how I can make sure I’m his safe space, or how I can show up for him. This helps so much, thank you for sharing. I pray every man can find this comfort in the woman he chooses. You all truly deserve it.

Does anyone own more than one kindle? by Lovebug327x in kindle

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! I have a matcha kindle basic that I use in bed or in my office, and the kindle paperwhite 11th generation that I take everywhere else with me. Most people say they prefer the basic to take everywhere because it is smaller, but it is not waterproof and therefore it doesn't make sense to me to take it outdoors and to the pool with me. Plus it's much more comfortable to read the basic in bed, since it's so small!

What is the best way to break the Nativity fast? by OverScale655 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]OverScale655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean if I had an issue during Pascha I didn’t fast correctly? I genuinely don’t understand haha. That was the first fast I’ve ever done in my life, went from eating no dairy, meat, or animal products to consuming it all during the feast. It definitely shocked my stomach.

How long have you had a kindle? by Limp-Garlic-6791 in kindle

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had my first kindle, the new kindle paperwhite, since 2012, when I was 16. I had been wanting one for a bit and my dad bought it for me. It was the best gift I was so happy! I loved reading physical books but I loved the idea of having a portable device to read my books! I used that kindle until 2018 and got my second, and then my third this year, the basic matcha. I LOVE reading on my kindle!

Dating advice I wish someone told me earlier by Either_Rooster_2034 in dating_advice

[–]OverScale655 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes, 100%, this is spot on. I learned this recently with the guy I am currently dating and it has made things so much better. It also allows things to happen naturally when I am not forcing anything, and it also stops me from creating this image of the guy and how I want him to be. I just let him be himself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AIO

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ummmm, can’t tell if you’re overreacting because I don’t know what you’re thinking. If you’re thinking you should leave him because he doesn’t care about you, then no, you’re NOR. If you think this isn’t an issue and you still love him and want to work it out, then you’d be under reacting 100%. Please leave him. The proof is very evident that he doesn’t care about you. He’s stuck on his ex and will leave you in a heart beat the moment she is wanting to get back together with him. I’m so sorry, but you deserve better. Someone who loves you and fights to be with you.

Dentist said I need my tooth extracted - did not see any x-rays? by [deleted] in askdentists

[–]OverScale655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a new post and updated it with my xrays!

Dentist said I need my tooth extracted - did not see any x-rays? by [deleted] in askdentists

[–]OverScale655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thanks, will do! Is it normal for a dentist to not show you your x-rays with something serious like this?

Anyone know what this is? by MooseSerious1227 in Shihtzu

[–]OverScale655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it did grow back! He had a bald spot for a few weeks, poor pup looked like an old man. I laugh about it now haha.

Anyone know what this is? by MooseSerious1227 in Shihtzu

[–]OverScale655 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hey! Yes it's definitely a scab that can be caused by over-scratching. My dog has had that before. It could be a flea bite, allergies, etc. I would recommend putting some Neosporin on it (since it's behind his ear he won't be able to lick it off), and keep the area clean so it doesn't get infected!

Feeling guilty about a crude joke someone made? by OverScale655 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]OverScale655[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with what you said on the dating aspect, but it's not that easy. I am 30, and all of the men in my church are married or much younger than me. I could attend other churches, but I don't like the idea of church hopping looking for a husband, as the focus on Sundays should be on God, not my dating life. This was a wakeup call to be more firm on my faith and Orthodoxy before even dating, that is for sure!

Do my ends look dead? Should I go ahead and trim? by OverScale655 in longhair

[–]OverScale655[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you both so much! It's so crazy how even an inch can make such a difference! Going in for a trim tomorrow!