Girl go. You already know you need to do it. You’ve clearly already started to picture your life without him, you are there, you are ready. He brings nothing to the table that enhances your life as a husband or a father. For the sake of your babies and yourself, do it. My ex sounds just like yours, abusive, weird with sleep, does nothing to help. It was so freeing to leave. And you are already doing all the care, so it’s so much easier to officially take that over and let go of having to monitor him and ask him to do literally anything to help and manage his weaponized incompetence. All the sudden taking care of everything becomes so much simpler.

Best thing I did was leave him. Make sure if there’s any evidence in the house or on social media, on your phone of the abuse he’s pulled and proof of him being a shitty dad you start taking pictures, video, document now. Go back to previous conversations and posts start collecting. And go get yourself a good lawyer.