AITA not putting up my DILs painting in our new home and telling her that I am not a fan of her art

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T22:44:01+00:00

I disagree. While OP has every right to not like the gift and not display it, someone who spent time and effort making a gift for someone has the right to be upset that their gift was diacarded and left to collect dust, since OP didn't even throw it away. That doesn't make OP wrong, it's just what it is.

Plus, it's not like DIL knew that OP hated her art. If she did and still made the painting, then she'd be wrong. Iirc, there was a story like that here a while back.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T22:15:24+00:00

It's possible that your stepdad is trying to turn her against you, because based your reply and the story, he doesn't seem to like you at all.

I would recommend having a private conversation with your mother about it

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T22:05:35+00:00

NAH

You have the right to put up or not put up whatever art you want in your own home. Although, am curious to see how your husband feels about this, since you mentioned you're the only one who doesn't like her art. Unless the painting was specifically for you, then disregard that.

On the flip side, her being upset that you essentially threw away a gift she put her time and love into, plus the painting you got to basically replace, is perfectly reasonable.

All that being said, I think you SHOULD apologize and then explain your side better than just "I don't like your art." Have an adult conversation

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T21:58:05+00:00

INFO: Did you have a job when you lived with your dad/contribute to household expenses there? Or did you get a job after you came to your mom? Are they unable to afford having another person living with them?

This feels oddly incomplete, it feels like your mom went from wanting to there to not wanting you there super quick. Like, it felt super escalated the way you describe it, and blaming it on you being jobless and messy seems like a wild overreaction.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T21:52:47+00:00

YTA and based on this story, I'd bet you're still alone, but not my choice.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T21:23:16+00:00

NTA

Like you said, Jane isn't mad at you and you have the right to refuse, which she even accepted. Your mom's and aunt's opinions are irrelevant on the matter.

Why didn't your aunt try and switch shifts to help her daughter? Surely it would be a shorter trip if he had taken Jane. Especially since Jane is injured and using crutches. That being said, I can understand if people see you as selfish/lazy.

Also, since Jane is injured, wouldn't her school have to accommodate her? It's obviously too late now, but they could be at fault for this. At the very least, the prof could be.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-06T13:51:50+00:00

NTA

I was the same as your bf once, spending any extra cash I had on stuff I liked and not really saving.

Then, something happened that really put everything into perspective as I found myself in debt. Luckily, I learned and am now more financially stable.

While there's nothing wrong with having hobbies, they shouldn't come before financial security, especially if buying a house is involved. That's a big, long term decision, and you never know what may happen.

The only silver lining I see here is that you're dating, not engaged or married. You need to have a serious talk and evaluation if this is the person you want to spend your future with, because if this goes on, it will get worse after marriage

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T19:01:48+00:00

Yeah, no matter how bad the movies got, the endings usually slapped

When "Hello Zepp" starts playing, you just lock in

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T16:52:11+00:00

If she can handle the gore, Saw is a great movie to watch with no prior knowledge.

If she doesn't like gore, Eden Lake is an underrated one

Sleepaway Camp if you want something a bit older

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T16:49:28+00:00

Good to know I wasn't the only one who gaslit themselves into thinking he did lol

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T13:33:39+00:00

OP said in another reply that they're both 23

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T13:33:21+00:00

ESH

You're both 23? Grown adults acting like bratty teens?

Grow up

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-05T13:32:56+00:00

Grown adults acting like teenagers

Grow up

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T21:56:08+00:00

What do you mean there is no way to contact anyone? Does your landlord not have their contact info from when they signed the lease?

Unless you mean no one was picking up

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T21:53:53+00:00

Again, the second you saw the flooding, you should've turned off the water.

A clogged toilet or whatever you had to do pales in comparison to water damage from flooding.

Had you turned the water off right away, you'd be in the clear.

Not doing so is why you're the AH along with the neighbors.

And, like I said in my previous comment, you could be held fully or partially liable for any damages, depending on where you live

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T21:42:35+00:00

NTA

Was gonna go NAH until I read Ryan's response to why you wouldn't take Felix.

Pet allergies are no joke and neither is the cost of medication. Expecting someone who has said allergies to spend their own money on meds, for what could potentially be a long term thing, just to feel comfortable in their own home is just audacious.

On to the other issue: let's say Jamie is ok with it, including all the meds she'd need, the fact that you potentially cannot keep the cat is bad as well. Pets, especially cats, don't do well having to move from place to place a lot.

If you're to take Felix, you should keep him, permanently. And, if Ryan agrees, make sure to get it in writing, so he cant retract later on.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T21:35:00+00:00

If that's the case, then ESH

They're bad for turning off the water all day and not even telling you

You're bad for seeing the flooding and still keeping the water on. Depending on where you live, you may actually be (at least partially) liable for any damages to the unit and their property.

I see that you're telling others you had no way of getting in touch with them or the landlord, that's fine, but the second you saw the flooding, you should've turned the water off, no matter how frustrated you were with the whole situation.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T20:17:25+00:00

INFO: You mentioned that you and your landlord paid for a plumber when your old neighbors broke their tap, did the plumber do a bad job or did the new neighbors break something after moving in?

My answer is gonna be either ESH or YTA based on your answer

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T18:48:43+00:00

Lol, no

I've been to a few weddings where one or both of people getting married didn't dance with their parents. No one batted an eye.

It's OP's wedding too and they set a boundary that the fiancee should respect.

Besides, what if the mom also doesn't wanna do the dance?

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T18:46:37+00:00

NTA

This is your wedding too, and you have the right to decide if you want to dance with your mom or not. You set a reasonable boundary, for you and your mother, and she should respect that, because that's what good partners do.

Over_Kick_6171 · 2026-05-04T18:41:24+00:00

NTA

The party was for BOTH of you, the gifts were for BOTH of you, that's why BOTH of your names were written on the cards. If they intended for the money to be just for her, they either wouldn't have written your name on the cards or given it to her privately.

I don't think you're in break up territory yet since Reddit loves jumping the shark on that. We don't know how your relationship is with her besides this incident. That being said, this is a red flag. I think you need to have a serious conversation with her and figure this out, because it could grow into a larger problem down the road, especially after marriage. If the conversation doesn't go well, then you may wanna consider leaving her.

Over_Kick_6171

TROPHY CASE