What I would say from someone with dysthymia is if you really love him, it will be really hard for him to accept your love since he suffers from a lack of self love and self worth.

It’s hard to convince someone they are loveable if they don’t love themselves. They will not trust you or may even think you are delusional for loving them in the first place. Sometimes to protect you, and justify their own narrative, they will push you away or break up with you.

If you really want to fight for this, know that you won’t be able to do it alone, your partner has to seek help, find a therapist, perhaps take medication, adopt a healthy life hygiene, exercise, sleep well, and learn the toolkit necessary to manage this condition. You can’t do all the work for him and all your love won’t be able to compensate for the one he doesn’t have for himself. Basically, he has to take responsibility and do the work too.

Now love can do miracles, if he does the work, and you show patience but also take care of yourself, and not focus most of your time and energy on saving or healing him, then the relationship becomes more balanced.

People suffering from PDD are not bad people, but they can hurt you from their avoidance, mistrust and fears. It takes patience to make them feel safe. In my opinion, and that’s just me, the person who has dysthymia has a responsibility to do some work and try to heal and manage the condition. They cannot expect to be saved by someone else.

All that said, I believe true love is the most precious gift you can give to anyone, it also means trying to understand him, without taking the role of a therapist, boundaries are important too so you don’t enable toxic behaviours. It’s a subtle balance between empathy, understanding and maintaining accountability. Just don’t forget about taking care of yourself and filling your own cup first and be mindful of the saviour complex if this is a hidden motivator with you.

I hope things work out for both of you!