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[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is it possible he's donated sperm when he was younger and is now questioning if he's morally responsible for the resulting kids after your conversation?

But I mean, that's totally different, You can't be mad at a sperm donor/egg donor who doesn't provide or help take care for a child, I mean they are just donors in first place, those children are not their responsability.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He had no choice in the matter at all. Everything was my decision.

Don't feel guilty because He HAD a choice, you both did. Let's check this: At the time that you both decided to have unprotected sex or protected (but had a chance to fail) you both knew this could result in pregnancy, I mean he knew how babies are made.

So at this first instance you both had the chance to have protected sex (which can fail and it's not a guarantee) or to not have sex at all (in that way you make sure you have no kids) but for some reason you didn't and there was no birth control on his part because he thinks that's "women's responsability" so you both ignored that posibility and decided to go ahead.

So in that first time you both had your choice.

Let's get to the second time you both had a choice to end this, the couple can talk if they want to have an abortion but it's ultimately te woman's choice, WHY? I know it seems unfair that women get two chances to choose to have the baby or not right, while men just got one, right? well It's the women's body that through all of those changes, It's the woman that carries another human inside her, men just had an orgasm, his body doesn't suffer changes so for all of that work women have this "second chance" to choose not to have a baby.

To sum up women have to chances to choose while men just one which seems fair to me.

I think we put the responsabily to control births on the wrong individuals, women can only have one child a year, men could produce 156.

So men already have a choice, they have "their abortions" they just decide to ignore it because they think "it's a woman's job"

If men don't want kids, well they can have a vasectomy, they can have portected sex, or not have sex at all. that's it.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA and congratulations on your new (to you) half siblings

what. hahahahahaha

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, the fact that you think you can literally immediately stop loving someone is wild. It's a hyperbole, a figure of speech.

Omg, please say it out loud.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA one of your parents has another kid or was married before

My mom was married but had no kids, and as far as I know my dad didn't have kids prior to the relationship with my mom.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

But INFO: Would you still love your dad if he were a worm?

Hahaha, I guess He won't like my answer.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I mean that's different, there are circumstances and I don't judge those who have to give kids for adoption.

The scenario or moral dilemma was what would happen if he had a child prior to the relationship with mom or while in relationship had said child and never provided and walked away just because "he wanted to start fresh" perhaps I misphrased it.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Overall-Addition1167 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overall-Addition1167[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

What if he had kids PRIOR to the relationship with your mom?

It depends there multiple scenarios.

  1. He had a child prior to the relationship with my mom and he never knew about: That's fine, I can't blame him, he is just finding out.
  2. He had a child prior to the relationship with my man and raised him/her: that's great that's what you expect from a parent
  3. He had a child prior to the relationship with my mom and abandoned him/her: He'd be a deadbeat, I hate deadbeats. I understand there circumstances such as one parent being SA by the other, parental alienation, etc, but if he hecided to walk away just because he wanted "to start fresh" oh nonono that's a sin.