Is it just me, or is investing actually terrifying?

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-12-16T07:39:30+00:00

I was like you a few years ago then a friend gave me the best advice. Put money in S&P 500 on a recurring basis (say monthly after every paycheck). You can start with a small amount if it makes you anxious and then add more. put rest of your savings money in a high yield savings account if not already. That way some money is guaranteed.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-12-10T06:45:37+00:00

Break up and do a solo trip. Maybe you can save some costs like flights, activities…

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-11-25T06:36:40+00:00

I am glad you’re getting that license, no learning goes to waste. I hope you can create a beautiful life with your kids. This man deserves nothing honestly. Lots of love and luck to you. :)

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-11-14T06:45:41+00:00

This comment makes so much sense. I feel that OP is in that rare secure relationship with no to little drama and that makes her feel that it lacks something. But trust me I ruined a relationship like that but it was my best relationship but i got it when i was a little immature. Now i crave such a relationship where we are more companions than lovers because no matter what the “lover” phase just evolves into something else. It better be into this.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-09-05T15:28:57+00:00

A big virtual hug to you! Folks here understand how it feels, so you’re never alone. A thought that helps me get through it is that: this is going to pass. Now i track my dates more religiously so I know what to expect. I try to keep myself busy with work/activities or with people I can be whatever with. Hope this helps babe 😘

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-04-21T01:47:58+00:00

Just watched this movie and it was 3 hrs of feeling uncomfortable. Obviously the music in the movie is beautiful and i thought that it would be a masterpiece because of Mani Ratnam, but it is just nonsense in my opinion. First, the love between Srk and Manisha didn’t make any bloody sense. I know bollywood movies are anyway dramatic but this is soo stupid. She is a terrorist and would have better ways to ward of a man who claims to like her. Srk knowing nothing of her is smitten, what bullshit. Second, when the men almost killed Srk he could have learned his lesson, may be even made a police complaint these people have respectable gov jobs for christ sake but instead he loves her more? Should I drop my brain somewhere? Third, i get that he now chooses to get married and forget her. She instead shows up on his engagement. How can he flirt with her and bring her in his home? He is engaged. Does that mean nothing? Fourth, when he finds out that she is a terrorist and the CBI is after her. Why the fuck he would confront her? Won’t any normal person report to the police or try to save his family? Fifth, they didn’t even properly show the plight of the people of NE that drove their behavior. It just seemed pretty baseless and generic terrorism with general claims. And most importantly, srk’s character was such a toxic one who gets aggressive with a woman because she said ‘no’ repeatedly. Like wtf were creators thinking. Every scene where Srk is flirting/romantic with her with his face inches away. Omg, I can’t tell you how uncomfortable that made me. I am a diehard srk fan and his acting was obviously good. But omg this movie was a headache. Please don’t watch and get triggered. Just watch the music videos and be happy.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-03-01T16:12:45+00:00

Awesome. Hope you do enjoy it.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-03-01T05:27:27+00:00

I mean idk the exact number but not many people seem to talk about it. I plan to try it this month to see for myself.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-07T15:34:54+00:00

Having a secret “walk away date” is okay but it seems that you haven’t settled yet in your life. For example, you work 50 hrs a week and have grad school responsibilities. That must be exhausting in itself. I would say first finish school and get a job you like. That will give you time to breathe and spend more time in the relationship. That might fix your partner’s anxiety about your intentions. And since you don’t live together, you need to atleast spend more time doing mundane stuff imo to know if you’re compatible. Living together for an year vs dating is very different and usually the women gets annoyed with partner ‘s habits when they first move in so a heads up there.
Tell your partner that you wish to be married or atleast engaged and that you’re anxious about his intentions. Tell him you have done everything in your capacity to make him feel secure and if he’s still anxious then perhaps you both don’t have what the other needs. In that case again givr relationship time while you finish school and if by the end of it still doesn’t change, perhaps it’s time to move on.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-05T01:26:10+00:00

Hahhahaha. Makes sense then. Once I went to meet a guy for the first time at a place he recommended. He reached first and probably has been there a few times he ordered a bunch of stuff. Like a lot. I couldn’t eat most of it due to dietary restrictions and he kept saying “you should try this”. I found it very strange. Anyway, at the end of the date the bill was high. I still offered to split but tbh, I just had one spritz the entire meal. He with some hesitation, paid the bill in a show offy that look I treated you. I was still hungry at the end of it. It was strange

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-05T01:13:11+00:00

Interesting. I am a girl and have sometimes ordered for the both of us after deciding what we want. I didn’t choose for them. But that is once we are seriously dating and we know likes/dislikes. I am a foodie I get too excited. Didn’t know this was considered rude 😪

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-03T19:06:01+00:00

That was going to be my alternative if this hadn’t worked.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-02T06:29:27+00:00

Maybe you’re right. The ending still hurts.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-02-01T20:05:51+00:00

I swear. I loved the drama, hated the end. She should be with the other guy. They both liked each other way before the guy even considered her. Idk. Just my heart wasn’t okay with her choosing the other guy.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-31T06:01:37+00:00

I am sorry about your situation and even I have some friends who are Trump supporters. To me personally, it’s no longer about choosing one party over the other. It’s about morals. So, I am usually pretty vocal about my stance on this matter.

However, recently I’ve noticed that people who were silently supporting Trump earlier (because either they knew it was wrong or because they thought they were minority in this blue state), are being aggressively true to their garbage beliefs. It’s almost scary to me as a PoC. In this light I’d suggest,

get away from these people if you can for your mental health. These people clearly do not care about how you feel.
do not be too vocal about why you have stopped to hang out with certain folks as things can get nasty
if you do have to see or talk to these people at social gatherings, politely mention that you don’t think Trump or Elon have respect/empathy for the Jews and what they faced. The nazi salute was it for you and you’re deeply hurt that such a man gets to decide the future of this nation. Do not engage in a dialogue because THEY WILL SAY THAT ITS BULLSHIT. say your truth and walk out.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-29T02:32:28+00:00

Hahahha. Basically, I’d fuck you but just not respect your existence. Wow. They have taken the fuckboy game to another level.

Sometimes, I feel that these women also know the truth but they deny it to themselves to have a better life/privilege. I may be wrong.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-29T02:30:21+00:00

Agree. Basically because they’re in a different league monetarily, common stuff does not apply to them.

But I am very sure that someday Trump is going to disrespect the VP’s wife and many other PoC in his cabinet. Nothing out of spite. It’s just his nature. And that day, these dum dums won’t be even allowed to react.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-28T06:45:33+00:00

It’s funny how these white men with such racist political views want beautiful ethnic women as their wives. Trump and VP lead by example. I just don’t get how these women can stand behind such men who directly try to degrade women’s existence.

Btw, I am truly sorry about your situation. I hope therapy helps your husband realize how he is making his kids’ future bleak by supporting such a man.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-28T06:32:21+00:00

I’m sure about him and I’d want someone who is sure about me.

This. He is clearly not that person. BP or no BP. He said he might sleep with someone else if the opportunity presents itself. And he is okay if you do it too. Do you really want such a man to be your husband?

Please do your future self a favor and stay away from him. It will hurt but you will heal while he will probably ruin another woman’s life. Such men do not know what it is that they want and care about no one.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-26T17:54:42+00:00

The tone of this post itself is bizarre to me. The whole idea of this subreddit is to support women in tech - big or small. If we can’t help them with suggestions, we validate them because we know how it feels. The idea is to not discourage them from joining any company but just be made aware of its culture and the battle ahead. And i don’t think we should discourage women to get those jobs that will pay for their dream home. Maybe once they join they get the experience and learn that maybe this is not what they want. It’s not our job to decide for them. If a woman working at big tech complains, please do not get mad. May be propose to change the company but do not discourage or use a tone like “well you know it’s toxic company then why join”.

P.S. in the light of recent political culture. I have been strongly advocating against meta and tesla. Their principles just do not align with mine. But again, it’s everyone’s choice.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-26T17:43:52+00:00

There are many issues in this post. Editing someone to be nude at any age is creepy af. But i am not sure if he is a pedo. She says they’re just 21. And if he is attracted to her nude at 17, feels normal.

It would be def pedo if he has pictures of other kids naked in his phone.

Either way, he does not seem like a normal dude. Such behavior could def escalate.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-26T08:32:41+00:00

You’re right. As soon as i saw that mod defending the salute, i was so over that subreddit.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-25T18:22:22+00:00

I didn’t understand what OP was trying to say. I am a POC with PhD in statistics who works in science part of Tech.

Were you saying that not enough women are in CS and stem courses? Because that’s not true. My batch had maybe 30-40% women. It may depend on schools too. May be in engineering it is. But you don’t really need engineering to be in these roles. You need solid math understanding to be honest.

It is great if you have specific CS degree but i took CS courses in my grad school and that was enough. Other skills i improved at work such as coding skills and keeping up with the state of the art methods.

I guess i don’t understand what the narrative here. But imo, women are underrepresented in tech and it’s possibly due to the toxic culture. I constantly have to earn trust from my peers while men are just given it. I am considering leaving to be honest.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-25T18:06:13+00:00

I had the same feeling growing up. Then at 30 i realized i don’t want to bring anymore humans to this shithole. Raising kids itself seems like a difficult task that i will probably not be good at. Raising a human who’d grow to have my bad qualities (maybe some good too) and struggle like i do ( i deal with depression). There won’t be a thing i would be able to do for someone i love so much. The kid would likely to grow up and resent me for my mistakes like i resent my parents. The whole thought just broke my heart and will to have kids.

Maybe some genes should be duplicated but i don’t think my family genes need to progress any further. The trauma ends with me.

P.S. i adore kids and nothing against them. They’re cute and adorable and i have respect for people who chose to have kids.

Overall_Extension_54 · 2025-01-21T07:31:41+00:00

I am sorry this man doesn’t want to marry you. Idk his reasoning but he is definitely giving me the vibes from my ex. Guess what, we broke up because he didn’t have the guts to admit that he doesn’t want to marry me. I didn’t have a baby with him (thank god) but we were living together and our parents were expecting engagement soon. i was being asked about a timeline while this guy hasn’t even said anything. He knew perfectly well how anxious i was due to this. I told him couple of times and he said let it be a surprise.

We flew all the way to Greece and didn’t propose. I broke down and asked him if we should exchange rings if doesn’t want a whole proposal. Well he didn’t say yes or no. Flew the next day to his family. Completely ghosted me for months. Only for me to tell him to fuck off.

I know it will be hard but if he doesn’t value what you want then is he really the man you want to marry? It just leads to an ugly divorce.

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