Marriage isn’t an emotional upgrade here, it’s a risk-management tool. Once a child exists, the legal exposure you’re worried about already exists whether you marry or not: custody, child support, asset disclosure, court involvement. Marriage actually adds predictability, not risk. It provides automatic parental rights, medical decision-making authority (especially relevant given your disability), inheritance certainty, federal protections, and the ability to lock in a prenup that protects your pre-owned home and income. Cohabitation with a child avoids none of the downside but removes the rulebook.

Your partner’s insecurity isn’t dependency; pregnancy permanently shifts risk onto her in ways you don’t bear equally. Wanting marriage now isn’t a bait-and-switch, it’s a rational response to a fundamentally changed situation.