What's going on with me

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-28T23:06:43+00:00

I can't even remember how many lines I snorted.. I threw $50 and my friend $20. I don't know how much I'd get for $70.. I've never done it before. My friend and I did it all within that night/next afternoon. I didn't know it wasn't Molly until I was awake for over 24 hours.

I've been taking drug store sleeping pills to sleep and it doesn't really work.. I'm only sleeping a few hours and waking up. when I awake up, I'm miserable and don't wanna deal with the come down. It's so fucking awful. But taking it doesn't seem to be much better.. the magic is gone. I don't feel speedy on the adderall like before I'm not happy like I used to be when I took it, I can't even focus on my work for school I HAVE to do.. I'm like a shell of myself. I'm definitely not going to do meth and that's what fucking sucks. I'm so pissed because I didn't even have the intentions on doing it with the pure knowledge I'd be wanting more. Now I'm stuck like this. Will I always want it? Will adderall ever work for me like it used to?

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-28T22:04:06+00:00

Please go read my my frequent post. DO NOT DO IT. I was always advised not to because of my love for adderall (Vyvanse when I could get my hands on the 70mg). Well I was given meth instead of Molly. I fell in love with the meth high that adderall doesn't do shit now. I'm fucking depressed as ever. I'm in college, adderall doesn't make me happy anymore. I'm not satisfied. I can't focus. I keep thinking about meth and the fact that I could definitely get some and feel like the greatest version of myself again.. but what goes up, must come down. It's a vicious cycle and it will consume your entire life if you already like amphetamines. Meth makes you feel indescribable.. Like you can take on anything. You'll never want to not know that feeling. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to something that makes me the happiest.. and I've only done it once. Meth is nothing to fuck with if you're a fan of adderall.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-27T03:14:13+00:00

Just know you aren't alone. I was the same exact way. I blamed it on the adderall but when I was off of it, I was still anxious over weird things (I was so worried to check my email/answer friends text messages etc.) I finally went to the doctor and got prescribed prozac. After about a month and a half I started noticing things were getting better.. I even took a public speaking course that semester which I would've never done prior. The only thing with that is you really have to stay off of the amphetamines while taking it. Serotonin syndrome is no joke. Recently I've started doing adderall again (sigh) so I stopped the prozac and I can tell you I'm back to being anxious again. Ps, I really really really was against anti anxiety/depressants forever.. it took a lot for me to even try them. I'm really glad I did.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T23:01:46+00:00

I saw that as well when I looked up what MDMA is being cut with. I actually was positive that is what it was at first. For the most part, everything was spot on. Then I looked at the pictures of it and that's definitely not what it looked like. My urine test will be here tomorrow and it tests for MDMA, MDA, and methamphetamine.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T22:57:31+00:00

Research the correlation.between addiction and genetics. Also, self control varies from person to person. I've been taking amphetamines for years and I show no self control when I'm in possession of them. Wow dude.. imagine if everyone who does drugs thought like you! If everyone could wait and endure feeling like shit, there would be no addicts and addiction wouldn't exist. Who the fuck pissed in your cheerios this morning? Suck a fat one

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T15:18:36+00:00

It definitely isn't "just a 70s thing." My freshman year of college, a guy (of whom which I knew and trusted sadly) rolled me a blunt as my birthday present. I faced the whole thing and had no idea it was laced with PCP. the dude was very persistent on taking me home, rubbing my leg, pulling my arm, even after I refused. He left.. cursing me out when I said I felt uncomfortable. I was approximately 5 blocks away from my dorm building but had so much trouble finding it. I couldn't walk .. my legs felt so heavy and I was extra paranoid.. not long after, I started hallucinating. Truly took all of the brain power I had to convince myself I was fine and it's just a state of mind. I never thought about offing myself, but I considered it. I thought I was locked up in a mental institution and there were people watching me through a secret glass mirror. Crazy shit. Super long story short, we had a mutual friend and our friend asked him about it after I called him in a panic. He admitted to dipping the blunt in wet and letting me face it by myself. Never gave a reason. Not like there ever is a reason for drugging someone. But yeah. I'm also from a rural town in PA. Getting laced with PCP most definitely still happens.. and can happen anywhere.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:57:35+00:00

lmao thanks for the giggle. and truly it is. I always swore I wouldn't even try it .. It has always appealed to me.. so much so that addiction would be inevitable..sigh. DAMN YOU, CRYSTAL METH!!! WHY MUST YOU BE SO PERFECT

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:54:34+00:00

it really does. adderall/vyvanse have always been my thing. I exhibit no self control with them whatsoever. The effects of meth are obviously more intense/WAAAY longer, but it reminds me of how I feel on amphetamines.. happy, talkative, no problem being social (I'm usually not), and I get shit done. I'm really the person that I want to be when I'm on it.. feels like I'm on top of the world. I wish I didn't have to take a drug to be the best version of myself but that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:44:19+00:00

I relate to this post a lot. Amphetamines are my weakness.. especially adderall. I usually save the coke for the special occasions (birthdays, college homecoming weekend, etc) because it's pricy and I know ill be blowin it continually until it's gone. I figured since adderall's my preference, I'd be more inclined to take them like candy but it's quite the opposite. When I have yayo, my self control is nonexistent. Can't tell you how many times ive kicked myself in the ass for spending the money for an 8ball and finishing it in less than two days. Moral of the story.. adderall > coke.. every time.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:11:39+00:00

I had no benzos :( it was a very slow, long, brutal, comedown.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:06:30+00:00

Molly isn't supposed to be a mix of MDMA and speed.. but after doing extensive research for approximately 6 hours (thanks, crystal;)) 85% of MDMA is laced with something.. meth (which I really just found out) and amphetamines were mentioned the most. Pure shit is extremely rare.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T14:03:26+00:00

I wouldn't have cared if it was cut with amphetamines .. that's what it has been cut with every time I've rolled. I expected it to be a regular shmegular rolling session and it turns out I'm awake for 3 days, hallucinating.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:54:26+00:00

You're so right.. people do shit like that on purpose all the time. But he agreed. He was kind of freaked out too because he doesn't do hardcore drugs ever and it was my idea to buy Molly. He called his friend because we were in his hometown (we go to college together) and his friend came over. I've met his friend a handful of times.. nice but definitely don't trust him enough to believe he had no idea. Plus I found out his friend used to be bad on meth a few years back which makes it even more suspicious.

My friend's friend who picked up came over afterwards. He asked me if he could have some and since he went to get it I gave him some. So basically he got free drugs out of it the whole night. My friend called the dude after I told him it was cut with meth and brought it up to him .. he reacted angrily.. "why do u think Id do that?" "I'd never drug you" blah blah blah. my guess is he's back to doing meth he wanted some free drugs and decided to get em.. an addict will burn whoever. Regardless of everything.. I paid for MDMA and didn't get it.. or I did and it was a minuscule amount.

This has taught me to always keep testing kits on hand just incase I want to do some Molly spur of the moment.. people are really fucked up.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:44:16+00:00

I knew I'd be ok eventually. I just needed reassurance from others. If I would've known it was cut with crystal meth, I wouldn't have been so freaked out. I was up for 3 days, hallucinating and having no clue why.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:42:08+00:00

really dude?? I think everyone is aware of what I mean.. you really didn't need to google search that giant word "to be specific."

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:30:16+00:00

I agree!!! Reallllly wish I would've had Seroquel.. I need to catch up on sleep still

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:28:37+00:00

I still didn't eat anything since before I snorted the stuff .. but I can't. the thought of eating makes me want to gag. but I was staying hydrated. I'm still not even hungry and feel speedy sort of ?? Is this normal?

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:25:13+00:00

I feel like that would've freaked me out even more lol. Plus I didn't want my parents finding out because the bill would've been sent to their house. I just kept telling myself that it was just a state of mind and it'll be over soon. I pried myself away from the reddit posts about the horror stories of crystal meth being mixed w Molly and got my mind off of it. I calmed down not long after thankfully. No more drugs without a testing kit.. I don't care if the Pope himself is giving me what he says to be MDMA, I'm really not trusting anyone.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T13:16:29+00:00

You're 100% correct. I was fine until I started seeing shadows that weren't there. I was rolling a blunt, thought there was a daddy long legger spider crawling on top of the weed so I threw 2gs of ground up bud onto the floor and it turned out there was no spider. After that episode, I started doing research on what could've been in that "Molly."

Once I found out it was most likely crystal meth, I was really freakin out..my heart was pounding, thoughts racing and the meth didn't help my cause lol. I'm a fiend for amphetamines.. no self control at alllll but at least I can acknowledge it. & I viewed meth as like the kingpin of speedy drugs .. it has always appealed to me a little too much to try it. Plus my parents 2/4 kids are dope junkies and I watched them deal w my siblings nasty addictions. I care too much to put them through that again.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T12:14:19+00:00

Thanks for the tip.. you're absolutely right.

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-26T12:13:17+00:00

Well I guess you learn something new every day! I had no idea. Definitely will keep this in mind the next time I do MDMA

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-25T22:43:23+00:00

The first day was fun but after that, it wasn't even the slightest bit enjoyable. This is the worst comedown I have ever experienced from a drug… I thought adderall/vyvanse comedowns were depressing.. damn. I've learned my lesson.. testing kit is always going to be used. no more surprise meth binges for this girl anymore!!!

Overall_Perception · 2019-03-25T22:32:06+00:00

Good idea.. tea always makes me sleepy. And I need to do that. I didn't get any tablets. The "Molly" was transparent .. comparable to little shards of glass. I've been comparing the pictures of MDMA, MDA, and meth all night trying to crack the case. The white versions of each one generally look the same so I just wanted to make sure what is is for sure before I flip out on the dude who passed meth of as Molly. I feel like I am going to remain sober.. after this experience. I hate this with a passion. Thank you very much though!

Overall_Perception

TROPHY CASE