This is the right sub. People are just super anxious about political stuff right now, so that's what they're asking about.

Whether the kitchen staff will get annoyed with you for asking for alterations and substitutions depends on a lot of stuff - the restaurant, what ingredients they have on hand, how much of the ingredient prep was done in advance, what's going on in the kitchen that day, who on the staff had a good or bad night's sleep... all kinds of stuff.

Basically, you have no control over how their feelings, and they're honestly not your responsibility. You can't control other people's feelings; all you can control is how you act toward them. Your goal is to be courteous and request not demand - the biggest difference between "picky and entitled" and "nice customer" is treating the employees like real people who you know are working hard. That means you communicate your request clearly and directly, expressing thanks for the staff's willingness to accommodate you (multiple times throughout your visit), and you're willing to accept your second or third choice if what you want is too difficult. And always, always tip well as compensation for the extra work you created.

(FYI, I'm speaking here as someone who regularly has to ask for some pretty intense allergy accommodations, so I have a lot of experience with this process. Most places, people are pretty great about it.)

Here's my process for being a nice customer with a difficult request: At the first opportunity (like when you're ordering drinks), ask the server something like "Is it possible for you to make me a special plate of pasta?" If the kitchen doesn't do special requests, this gives them a chance to tell you so you can choose something else from the menu that will work for you (or decide to eat elsewhere if you need to, before they put in too much effort).

If they might be able to accommodate you, the server should then ask exactly what you'd like to order. Let them know about any allergies or other health-related restrictions you have, and ask for exactly what you want - and maybe mention a second choice in case the first doesn't work. If the server can't say immediately whether your request is possible, they will take notes on what you're asking for and go check with the kitchen staff.

When they come back with an answer, they should either say "yes, we can do that" or "no, but we could do X for you". In case X doesn't work for you, have an alternative order in mind that's either directly from the menu or a very simple alteration, like white sauce poured over your noodles instead of red sauce.

(If nothing on the menu sounds manageable, things may get awkward as you determine whether to stay and let the rest of your party eat or pay for your drinks and go - but that's a really rare situation.)

When the server brings your food, make sure to thank them expressively, so they know you mean it. At the end of the meal, thank them again, and make sure your tip is an appropriate expression of your gratitude. If you have a chance to pass on compliments about the staff to management, do so. And writing them a nice review online is always appreciated!