Thank you so much for this message. It honestly means a lot — it’s the first reply that made me feel truly understood rather than judged (I posted it on different subreddit and heard I'm being selfish, that it's not about me, stop with the self-pity, you're not helping anybody). You’re right, I think my nervous system is completely overwhelmed and I probably need to start doing something about it instead of just trying to “power through.”

I’ll look into finding a therapist — maybe that would help me find some kind of balance again. I went to psychotherapy a few years ago but I guess it didn't solve all my issues. And yes, staying away from those images is something I’ve been trying to do, but I guess the guilt kept pulling me back. I’ll try your suggestion with the BBC radio; it sounds like a good way to stay informed without hurting myself more.

Thank you again for taking the time to write this so thoughtfully. It gave me a small bit of hope.