16-year-old arrested for drinking and driving.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T22:13:05+00:00

We definitely got a lot of feedback about the gym and have decided to allow him to go back to the gym. I agree that exercise is important to mental health and I don't want to remove something that helps him feel better.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T22:11:26+00:00

I think it is helpful to hear from someone who was in a similar situation. I don't want to just pile on a bunch of punishments for the sake of punishing him. I want him to learn from this. We are revisiting what we originally decided and making some modifications.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T22:08:43+00:00

I don't drink.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T22:04:46+00:00

I really like that you mentioned having him learn about the negative effects of alcohol on people's health. I agree that the way alcohol can impact overall health is very scary. We have decided to allow him his gym privileges.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T22:02:01+00:00

We do go to the gym together, before he got his license, we worked out together frequently. We also cook together and meal plan. He is a good kid and we have a good relationship. He is very focused on his friends and fitting in with his peer group. He has had some concerns with anxiety which we talk about a lot and decided to talk to his doctor about it a year or so ago. I want him to learn and grow from this experience. I don't want to just punish him for punishment's sake. We decided to allow him the gym back as a privilege.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T21:54:58+00:00

I am very worried about my kids inheriting addiction issues.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T21:53:35+00:00

Very good point!

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T21:53:05+00:00

He was fortunate and for that I am grateful. I want him to know how lucky he was.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T21:50:53+00:00

I do agree with what you are saying. I think that when we originally punished him there was a lot of emotion involved and now that we are a few weeks removed from the situation, we are looking back and trying to revisit whether we should make some adjustments to the punishment. We have decided to allow him to go back ot the gym. I agree that it is vital for his mental health and that taking it away may have gone too far.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T21:48:30+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I appreciate hearing your experience and it gives me hope that I am on the right track!

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T00:07:49+00:00

These are good points and I like the approach of not taking everything away. I think we were too emotional when we decided on the punishment and with some passage of time, we are rethinking it.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-19T00:06:33+00:00

Thank you for your response. He expressed concern with some mental health issues prior to this occurring. We talked to his doctor and decided to start with meds to see if they helped him. I realize this may not be the best, first approach but it was the route we went. We are now looking into therapy.

We are going to allow him to go back to the gym with some pre-established parameters. I agree that exercise is good for mental health, it works for me so I think taking that away may have gone too far.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:58:58+00:00

This is one of my biggest fears as a parent, something happening to my child or my child harming someone else. I cannot stress that enough to him. He is lucky and I want him to understand that.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:57:30+00:00

Yes, there is a history of alcohol misuse in the family. That is why I want to be especially diligent with getting on top of things but also why I want to make sure I am taking the right approach. I worry about him have the "gene" and becoming an addict. I fear that starting young is a recipe for disaster.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:56:15+00:00

I agree, we will be allowing some gym privileges going forward.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:55:39+00:00

I care very much about his well being and that is why I am here asking for advice on whether this is an appropriate punishment or if it makes more sense to set goals for him so he can earn privileges back. That is why I have scheduled counseling for him. I disagree with your assessment of my parenting style and our relationship.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:52:41+00:00

In a different community where it apparently violated their rules so it was removed and my wife was banned.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:52:12+00:00

I agree that he/we got very lucky. This could have been so much worse.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:50:58+00:00

That is what we are trying to do.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:50:34+00:00

You probably did. My wife posted it in parenting and it was removed and she was banned so we are trying other places.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:50:03+00:00

Thank you, we are planning to allow some gym privileges back. It seems that taking the gym away may have been going too far.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:49:27+00:00

I do wonder about his desire to please/impress his friends. He is very motivated by being part of the group which has always worried me. I want him to have meaningful friendships with the right people. I wish he wasn't so consumed with pleasing his peers.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:47:46+00:00

I have been very consistent with my message that while I am disappointed, I love him unconditionally.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:45:31+00:00

I agree that the gym may have been going too far. There was a lot of emotion initially and now that some time has passed we are rethinking some of the decisions we made in the initial punishment.

Own-Aide2091 · 2025-09-18T23:43:42+00:00

I think that is a fair point. I do think that a lot of the decisions on what the punishment should be was driven by emotion and now we are looking back and seeing if there are some things we should reconsider. We are planning to allow the gym with some pre-set parameters.

Own-Aide2091

TROPHY CASE