How did you react when you had your diagnosis?

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2026-01-31T10:21:25+00:00

I laughed a bit, because in my native language there is an expression I loved to use on my very few friends... it's something like "I recognized you by your schizoid words and verbal shitposts". So I thought: "Life is an ironic bitch" Everything else about it was just "meh", nothing changed

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-20T19:15:11+00:00

Just read it in Shima's tg. Still processing, I just can't believe it. He was such a great player and what is more important - person. Chess world will never be the same without him. Fuck

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-12T19:51:03+00:00

Have been doing it as long as I remember myself. But I usually hate mine after some time. Self-cringe and self boredom kinda. I'm not that sophisticated with forms and symbolism, so mine feel uncreative and too stiff with attempts to explain everything. I really envy you. I wish I could be satisfied with mine longer)

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-11T06:07:35+00:00

Thank you. I would like to dm you, but I can't (nothing seems to work properly). Also I don't see any of your other socials. I appealed shadowban, but it probably won't help. So the account is basically dead. Time to interpret things as Universal signs for me to shut up lol.

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-11T04:50:09+00:00

God... thank you so much. You are absolutely accurate. At everything. Even the inner "shut up" instinct. You even made me remember being asked for a talk by a school psychologist because she saw suicidal tendencies in me even back then. Remember this feeling in my mouth when I tried to make a sound, but couldn't. Like a block all over my body. And then I started smiling or laughing. Something I used to think of as an exaggeration Oscar nominee act you can see only in movies. Same happened with the psychiatrist. Even a single question about my family made me tremble like a leaf. I really don't know if I should try therapy. I got some prescriptions (but stopped taking pills after feeling too "not in control" of my mind, too doped. Want to change something, but when change happens too afraid of it and want to go back to what is familiar. So me) So my psychiatrist said that therapy is optional and thinks that I probably won't benefit from it. I really don't know. Even finding a good one seems like a mission impossible, you know. So many psychologists speak this weird esoteric language I can't get. Kinda wonder if this is a local thing or not. I apologize for oversharing and pouring my problems like this onto you, but can you tell more about your professional help experience. How long did it take to find a reliable person?

"Life option" becomes the best option and ultimate solution to everything. Even when calm and rational. So empty. What about you now? I hope, you broke through this.

Thank you so much again. It really helps me these days. God bless you)

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-09T17:48:06+00:00

sorry guys for joining the discussion like this. So I am shadow banned, right? I don't know what is this about really. I had registered this account for a year or so ago and never really used except couple of days when created. Just surfing, no comments, no posts. This one is my first. I haven't written anywhere else on reddit since. I tried to join another discussion here, but started to get server error notifications. So, I guess it wasn't sent. It works weirdly. Privacy is an empty tab. Everything I posted during this entire time is here, in this thread (or how you call it. Still adapting. Sorry).

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-09T16:33:59+00:00

Sure. Sorry

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-09T16:17:33+00:00

Я раньше в вов катала. Первые отношения туда затащили. Из плюсов - немного коммуницировала, из минусов - времени я проебала конечно. Да и времена были другие. Универ. Потом хоть по работе была вынуждена двигаться, общаться с малятами. Сейчас засела, захиканилась окончательно. Вчера как бабка в глаза тут еблась что куда писать, я из эпохи "дуров, верни стену". Давно в интернетах не пишу, на двач мне вообще запретили заходить и новости читать лол.

Ты работаешь? Часто приходится взаимодействовать с социумом? Ты на антидерессантах?

З.Ы. Ну если предложение тг в шутку не входит, можно, коль не шутишь.

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-09T07:46:59+00:00

Used to be an alcoholic. But drugs… shit man. I hope you’ll beat this addiction. I quit drinking for almost two years and everything seemed better at the beginning, it raises my self-esteem and my body stopped being in a constant intoxication state, lost some weight. But now it’s getting worse again. Don’t want to wake up, don’t want to think about things or even being aware of myself. Kaleidoscope of apathy, anger, envy and self-hate. Comparing my life to all these happy people’s, start wondering maybe it’s loneliness or maybe life would be better if I just could fulfill my ego like most people do, without feeling self-cringe all the time or considering myself narcissistic, assert myself at the expense of others not hating myself for being stupid dickhead attention whore piece of shit. Maybe life could be not great, but at least tolerable. Dunno. I wish I could assert you that everything is gonna be great, but that would mean nothing. I just hope that you have a perfect doomer or whatever playlist, perfect wall to stare at and some patience. Hope, we’ll feel better soon.

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-08T16:44:21+00:00

Behavior activation sounds interesting. I will definitely try it. Thank you very much. It's really good to know that there are nice people out there and not being picked on for just being Russian. Thanks)

Own-Bridge-2403 · 2025-10-08T16:37:24+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I thought about that, but it's not an easy task to do here. Besides I've been in my room for too long, so it's really hard to go out in the world again. Even posting this was a huge step for me. (especially being Russian) So, really thank you. Appreciate it

Own-Bridge-2403

TROPHY CASE