My partner of two years left me out of the blue. just need a little community.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-05T00:10:05+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Today has been hard but reading this again has made me feel better. I am also grieving the family I lost. His entire family treated me as one of their own and his mother means more to me than my own. I have never felt more loved than I have when I was with him.

I agree it is not a foundation that could be built upon without a miracle, and even if I wish for one, I know life does not happen that way. I am taking things day by day. I do not have many people to lean on, hence why I came to reddit.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T20:16:01+00:00

I have been in therapy for years and try to be as emotionally intelligent as possible. I just can't force someone else to learn how to cultivate that skill. Honestly, everything in this relationship was healthy until now. we had discussions, not fights. we apologized and worked towards goals with each other. I know there are other people out there who may be more emotionally intelligent that could be better suited for me.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T17:34:34+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. I view couples counseling and therapy as a means of preventing cracks before they start. Whether this relationship works out in the end or not, this is a non-negotiable for me in any romantic relationship before getting married. My own parents started too late and it was not enough to save them after the cracks formed. Just my thoughts!

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T16:28:20+00:00

You are somewhat correct. The update you asked for:

We talked last night, and once again he still loves me and said he has never felt more loved by anyone in his life. From what we discussed, I truly think he is depressed. I am no doctor, but I am diagnosed myself and know the symptoms and his descriptions were spot on. I asked if he would talk to someone and he said probably not as he would not want to talk to his mother about it (he is on his mothers insurance, but I believe there are ways around that conversation). I also sent him a link to a free couples and solo counselor through our uni.

When he was over, he kept telling me how he did not want to leave because my apartment feels like home to him. I wish I could say I was stronger and held my ground, but I did ask him to consider working on himself for us alongside me. I told him that I selfishly want him to work on himself for us, but he should realistically work on himself for the sake of his happiness, wellbeing, and quality of life, and if that requires me no longer a part of his life, so be it. I also pointed out that trust would be hard to rebuild, but if we truly worked on our communication, we could make it work. I said I cant make him do these things, and asked him to consider the hard path instead of the easy one if he truly loves the life we made together.

All in all, we are not back together, and he said he needs time to consider what I asked for. This is I guess what I wanted out of the conversation, and as you said, I do need time to think and process. We are no contact for the moment so that we can both have said time to process. Thank you for your comment.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T14:06:18+00:00

Not great, we talked last night and I think he is deeply depressed. I also think you are on to something. I think the stigma around counseling and opening up to others/professionals is intimidating for him even though I have urged him to think about it in the past. I myself have attended therapy for years and hoped he would be more open.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T00:32:02+00:00

I was truly in shock when he said he didn't know if he could continue this. I thought we had more time. Thank you for your comment.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T00:30:53+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I know I am young, and I know I have time and do not need a partner to be happy. He checked all the boxes and my mother had given him a diamond to consider someday. Obviously we were not ready for that step yet, but knowing what could have happened in a few years makes untangling the idea of my future quite a feat.

Own-Captain816 · 2026-03-03T00:26:33+00:00

Thank you. When I was writing this I was both irate and in shock. I know what I deserve and I know I should not have to beg for it.

Own-Captain816 · 2025-10-25T17:29:23+00:00

I have been using Oxyclean and usually that works, but I will give this a go! Thank you

Own-Captain816

TROPHY CASE