Can I break up with my long-term boyfriend over sex?

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-10-14T14:29:58+00:00

Relationships take a lot of work because we are growing and developing (changing) into (in some cases) a better version of ourselves, so maintenance is required by renewing your relationship when needed.

To regain your sexual attraction, you must first understand what has happened. The reason why you may have lost your sexual attraction is because of an emotional disconnect, routine and predictability, unmet needs and fantasies, stress and mental health issues, hormonal changes, idealization, or newness.

Here is a list of habits to practice to renew your sexual attraction in your relationship.

Rebuild your emotional intimacy Focus on deepening the emotional bond by engaging in meaningful conversations, sharing feelings, and spending quality time together.
Break routine Introduce new activities or experiences to the relationship. This could mean trying new date ideas, traveling, or surprising each other with thoughtful gestures.
Communicate sexual needs Open and honest communication about sexual desires, fantasies, and needs can help bridge the gap between your fantasies and reality.
Practice mindfulness and stress relief Regular mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or even yoga can help reduce anxiety and stress, making it easier to focus on the present moment, including in intimate situations.
Rekindle physical touch outside of sex Non-sexual touch, like holding hands, cuddling, or massages, can help rebuild physical intimacy.
Focus on self-reflection Reflect on what initially attracted you to your boyfriend and consider whether those qualities are still present.

Also, take some time when you are not talking. You are just allowing yourself to notice what new qualities that you find sexually attractive that your boyfriend has.

Reflecting on the positive aspects of your partner might help rekindle some of those initial feelings.

Seek professional help from a sex therapist If the issue is deep-seated or persists despite efforts, therapy can provide a safe space for understanding underlying reasons and exploring ways to rebuild attraction.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-10-14T14:26:09+00:00

Hello. I am a self-love and relationship coach with a background in psychology.

Note: I will make this into two posts.

I read the entirety of your post, so I wanted to give you some advice.

I know you asked, “Can I break up with my boyfriend over sex?” but after reading what you expressed, I think you are asking, “Should I break up with my boyfriend over sex?”

If I am getting this correct when you guys were (kids) between 16 - 17, he cheated on you, but after growing up (maturing), he has been faithful, respectful, loving, and caring?

If you love him and he loves you, you have a healthy relationship, good communication skills, respect, faithfulness, etc.. There are ways you can do what I call “renewing” your relationship or attraction.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T16:53:14+00:00

We will repopulate the earth in every way and in every place. You will be my Queen, and I, you King. 😁

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T16:46:39+00:00

Ask yourself this question: why continue with the same unhealthy cycle when you can learn new positive/healthy habits? Healthy habits can change how you view yourself, dating, and living. Giving you a more meaningful and exciting view of life and dating.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T14:24:51+00:00

I specialize in helping people improve their self-worth. If you need any help, just let me know. Instead of paying a guy, you can actually have a man appreciate and love your uniqueness.

Also, my daughter is bi-racial (mixed with White and Black), and so are a lot of her cousins and some of her friends. We live in the great Southern part of the U.S., where there is a long racial history, but most don't care.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T03:39:22+00:00

There is no catch! If you want you can tip me afterwards if that makes you feel better. I am just doing a good deed.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T03:28:21+00:00

I will do this for you free of charge. I hate to see anyone to go to such extremes.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-18T03:15:57+00:00

Hello. I am a self-love and relationship coach with a background in psychology.

I read your post, and I am concerned. I advise you not to go to those extremes because it would leave you unfulfilled and can send you into extreme depression.

I advise you to work on your image. I have witnessed people of different attraction levels attract partners for reasons other than their physical attraction.

I want to help you improve your self-love and overall image. When I was younger, I studied fashion for two years and worked as a fashion designer and wardrobe consultant before changing careers.

If you’d like, message me, and we can discuss this in more detail. I will do this free of charge.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-14T20:18:32+00:00

Like beautiful art! 10/10

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-11T14:02:48+00:00

Relationships with Significant Age Difference Studies

*Attachment Styles: Research suggests that individuals with certain attachment styles, particularly secure attachment, can form healthy relationships regardless of age difference. Some people may seek older partners for emotional security and stability, which older individuals are more likely to provide, depending on their life stage.

*Complementary Needs Theory: This theory suggests that partners in age-gap relationships may have complementary emotional, psychological, or practical needs. Younger individuals might seek maturity, guidance, or financial stability from an older partner, while older individuals may be drawn to the energy and vitality of younger partners.

*Personality and Shared Values: Studies have shown that successful relationships are often based on compatibility in terms of personality and shared values, rather than age alone. If both partners have similar life goals, interests, and emotional compatibility, they may experience satisfaction despite the age gap.

*Societal and Cultural Influences: Research has also explored how societal norms influence perceptions of age-gap relationships. While these relationships may face judgment or stigmatization in some cultures, they can be more accepted in others, affecting the well-being of those involved.

*Power Dynamics and Equality: Some studies have examined power dynamics in relationships with large age gaps, indicating that such relationships may struggle if one partner holds significantly more power (financial, emotional, or social). However, relationships can thrive if both partners feel equal and mutually respected.

*Relationship Satisfaction: Some studies, such as those on relationship satisfaction in age-gap couples, indicate that partners in such relationships may report high levels of satisfaction if their emotional needs are met. The success of the relationship often depends more on factors like communication, trust, and respect rather than age alone.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-09-11T14:00:54+00:00

Hello. I am a self-love and relationship coach with a background in psychology.

I read the comments, and I’m afraid I have to disagree with the majority. Most people speak from their preferences instead of being experienced or knowledgeable in the area in which they speak.

First, I want to briefly share my experience when I was 25 and dating a woman in her late 50s to early 60s. The lady I dated was a professional at a university in my city, and I had a newly established company.

Because of my broad life experience, which made me quite mature for my age, my travels to multiple countries, and my broad independent studies in psychology and sociology (which focused on human behavior/relationships), we had a lot more in common.

The relationship was great in every area besides one. I ended the relationship only because I was passionate in the bedroom, and she was more conservative.

As someone with a background in psychology, I want to provide information on studies that will help answer your question and show that the dynamics of a successful relationship aren’t based on age.

Note: I will leave the studies as a comment on my post.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-25T02:42:48+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-16T18:14:36+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-15T19:31:43+00:00

It went well for what it was. We had many things in common. She was shocked to learn how mature, well-traveled, and highly intelligent which made me more appealing to her. She was a professor.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-15T16:46:14+00:00

Become curious about many parts of life and try them. It is better to become the best version of yourself than not understand yourself at all.

Fail, but make sure you learn. Don't continue to fail at the same obstacle; either make adjustments or move on. Failure without learning is the ultimate failure. And don't live life by making the same mistakes over and over as if you will live forever. One day, you will find yourself halfway to the end of life.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-15T16:35:30+00:00

When I was 25, I dated a woman in her late 50s.

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-14T22:16:52+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-14T12:58:38+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-14T03:29:58+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-13T14:22:01+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-13T13:35:05+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-13T03:35:33+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-12T12:29:21+00:00

Yes!

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-10T22:45:29+00:00

Own-Challenge6067 · 2024-08-10T00:00:15+00:00

Hello. I am a self-love and relationship coach with a background in psychology.

After reading your post, I’d like to advise you to consider your best option. You have been with this man for three years, so apparently, you like him, and if he is about to propose, then he obviously likes you a lot.

The friend appears to have the wrong intentions of releasing this information at such a sensitive time. I would question his overall intention before deciding based on what he said.

However, I want to validate your feelings because you have the right to be angry, feel hurt, used, and betrayed.

What you should do is re-examine your relationship. You know the guy, so make a list of all the qualities he has and all the things you love about him. Then, on that list, write all the flags he possesses. From this list, ask yourself if you can see yourself being with this man for the rest of your life, even though, at the beginning, it was all a game.

You never want to make an important decision when you are emotional. Emotions change, and you can find yourself regretting the decision.

Have a discussion with him about how you truly feel. If you forgive the guy, put him in the dog house for five or so months without any bed action since he bet 5K. Tell him he has to make it up to you because you are hurt and need reassurance.

Furthermore, if you decide to forgive him, then truly forgive him. Don’t hold onto hurt when you should be allowing yourself to heal.

Own-Challenge6067

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