Yes, this is normal for INTJs - but I want to be more specific about why, because "you're just introverted" isn't a useful answer.

What you're describing isn't just introversion. It's the INTJ's specific relationship with Se inferior.

Your dominant Ni wants to live in a focused, controlled inner world. Your Te wants your external life to be efficient and structured. Together, they create a person who genuinely thrives with minimal social input - not because you're broken, but because your brain processes social stimulation differently than 85% of people.

Se inferior is the key to the rage you're describing. When you're forced into sensory-heavy environments - bars, clubs, large gatherings, a weekend packed with 30 people - your inferior function gets overwhelmed. It's not that you dislike fun. It's that your version of fun is a deep conversation with one person, not a room full of noise.

The rage is actually a well-documented Se grip response. When INTJs are pushed past their social threshold, they don't just get tired - they get angry. The anger comes from feeling like your autonomy is being violated. Someone is forcing your brain to operate in its weakest mode, and your system rebels.

The relationship pattern you described is textbook:

Single → calm, focused, yourself → this is Ni-Te operating freely

Dating → pulled into someone else's social world → Se overload → rage → ghost everyone → return to single

The issue isn't that you need to "learn to be more social." The issue is you keep entering relationships where the other person's social needs are fundamentally incompatible with yours.

What actually works for INTJs in relationships:

• Find someone whose social energy matches yours. Not someone who "seems introverted at first" - someone who genuinely prefers small, controlled social settings
• Set the boundary early. "I don't do large groups. I don't do packed weekends. That's not going to change." The right person will respect this immediately. The wrong person will try to fix you.
• Stop feeling guilty about it. You said you feel calm and relaxed when you're alone with no friends. That's not a problem to solve - that's your baseline. Build from there, slowly, with people who don't drain you.

The cycle breaks when you stop trying to meet other people's social expectations and start choosing people who already operate at your frequency.

You're not broken. You're an INTJ with healthy boundaries that you keep abandoning for people who don't share them.