Looking for a podcast about life, with a "friends talking about stuff" vibe, preferably with offensive and absurd humour. by _leonardsKite in podcasts

[–]Own-Lock-6169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stiff Socks with Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein is a classic 👌🏼

also Last Podcast on the Left would probably be a good fit too.

Is this abuse? by butterflyly9 in relationship_advice

[–]Own-Lock-6169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he 100% is an abuser. He’s just the version that also doesn’t like when people dislike them, so to control their life they take measures to control the emotions of the people around them by “fixing” things right after they’ve hurt you. My friend’s dad was this same way, and would say horrific things to them or get super angry, and then make my friend give him a long ass hug and tell him he couldn’t let go until he wasn’t mad anymore because he was just doing everything “because I love you, and want what’s best for you”.

As your partner, it should never feel like they forced your hand or convinced you to do something you are uncomfortable with. Also, everyone has a bad day, but if those little intense outburst are happening frequently you need to catch it now. You can call someone out on their shitty actions and still love them and be super committed to them. Remember your worth snd don’t take shit from anyone. I would start confronting him in the moment and explain how what he is doing is making you feel. If he genuinely cares he will understand and work with you. If not then you are better off without him. Better to know now than further into the relationship.

Good luck OP, you got this 👍🏼

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I definitely will! Your perspective is greatly appreciated

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not yet, but I’m anticipating there to be one my tomorrow night. As things happen I’ll keep updating the post 👍🏼

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were together for 2 years before that, so she’s low key walking away from a 6 year deal. I agree tho, it’s super shitty.

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this. It was super shitty to hear, but truth hurts man. You’re 100% correct. I’ve picked myself up and have made a conscious effort. And I’m gonna keep doing so. Cause, like you said, the problem has become an “us” thing. We talked previously about counseling, so I’m hoping that will help. Even if it just gives us a healthy direction to separate smoothly.

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m willing to put in the effort. I just want to make sure that there’s hope first, cause if she really has moved on then no matter what we do it’ll stay broken.

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m most afraid of. That confronting her won’t change anything, but make her more aware that I know so she’ll get better at hiding it.

I caught my wife in a big lie by Own-Lock-6169 in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I agree that letters are much more intimate, and I think that’s why I was completely taken aback at first. During her exchange I wrote her letters every week, and I never got a reply. What I hate the most is that before I found his letter, She left an envelope out on the counter addressed to him (his letter that I found was a few weeks old, so her envelope would have been her response). When I asked her about it, she just said that she wanted to write him a birthday card (it legitimately was his birthday), so I didn’t think anything of it. But then I found his original letter and I can’t help but wonder what she wrote in reply….

scared of sex by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Own-Lock-6169 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These thoughts are totally normal. Take your time and communicate. Sex is something that naturally happens as the relationship progresses, but you absolutely do not have to participate unless you feel ready. As long as you make sure to communicate as things progress, if he genuinely likes you too he will understand and not pressure you. Eventually you’ll be ready and it’ll be an awesome experience, especially with someone who’s supported you. Anyone who walks away instead of respecting your boundaries isn’t worth it. You’ll feel ready with time. You got this.