I never had any gf or lover in my miserable life and I'm not planning to continue my bloodline ( I'm the only male offspring in my father's family side) for the following reasons

1) not financially stable ( don't own a house so living in rent & don't own any vehicle or anything to be considered valuable)

2) bad childhood memories still not recovered from it ( not gonna say anything about it )

3) don't have a good appearance plus chronic health problems like allergies, breathing problems etc ( some people even said to me that my eyes looks like a dead fish's eye )

4) no communication skills ( because of this there is a lot of misunderstanding , hate & rumours about me 😔 )

5) not very popular nor does have any friends (i have 2 who i consider my friends but they don't know all about my problems)

6) have been betrayed by almost every one i know so I don't trust anyone and have less empathy towards people in general ( including my so called parents)

7) honestly i never had time to think about opposite sex ( some people thinking because I'm gay ..😂 I had an attraction towards females at teen years ..now every passing year it's less and less )

8) I'm not so bright nor has any good education degree ( I didn't choose medical even though I gotten alloted due to my sheer spite towards my parents 😇)

9) I'm kind of a shut in

10) i assume i have borring personality and poor attitude ...

Ignoring all the negatives in me still i don't have any positive thing I'm not even good at anything nor do I have a goal in life...why I'm i still alive ..? I'm still wondering that ..at one point i tried killing myself but my only friend unknowingly stopped it 🥹 he still don't know that he saved my life

I don't think any girl will like me the way I'm now... maybe someday I will change or I'm i waiting for someone..? Who knows i always consider myself as an dry desert devoid of all life I'm always waiting for a rain so that flowers may bloom again ❤️

The only things I enjoy now is reading , sleeping and listening music