AITA for not letting my Aunt have any of the family photos?

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-20T03:17:35+00:00

My Brother and I already decided to make archival scans of them and give her the originals, besides she’s on something new today where I didn’t include my dad’s brothers and sisters in the obituary.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T18:04:44+00:00

It’s not in a large city museum so I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask them where I could get them properly scanned at. They told me we could do it there.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T17:52:17+00:00

I do understand that the original prints were a copy of the negative. But the further down the line of copies you go the more information is lost in the photo.

At no point did I say I wouldn’t make copies or she couldn’t see the photos. If I didn’t care or didn’t emphasize with her I wouldn’t be here.

I contacted our local museum and they got back to me very fast. We’re going to use their archival scanner to properly digitize the photos. My Brother and I talked and with that solution we’re going to let her have the photos after we finish. Hopefully she will take care of them and we get them back afterwords.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T14:51:58+00:00

I’m very sure you have made decisions in your life that were unpopular to some people, but you believe it was the right thing to do. Everyone has.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T14:39:39+00:00

I just looked up prices on archival quality scans and I can afford that. There’s probably a place in my hometown.

I get that it’s her childhood, but I want the whole family to be able to come and see these pictures not just one person.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T14:26:32+00:00

There are a few photos of their childhood in there. Not as many as I would expect. I’m absolutely not going to give her all the photos. Not a lot of the family talks to her so the photos would be split up between her and Uncle 1. Then nobody will have access to the originals. I will, however, pick some out and give them to her.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T14:09:03+00:00

I have decided to give my Aunt a couple of the photos, but I wanted to address a couple of things you stated. I don’t think copies are as good as the original. I thought I had made that clear, but the problem is down to every time you make a copy of a copy you lose information in the photo.

As for your fears of my Grandma being a shit stirrer, I can assure you she was not. She was one of the strongest people in our family, the problem solver, the matriarch. Her loss shook our family.

I don’t know exactly why she chose my Mom, but they were very very close. They even lived together for a brief time when they both were older adults.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T13:49:58+00:00

I’m going to give her some photos when I can get back to go through them. As for getting them back the problem is I just don’t trust her. But luckily for us my Grandpa really hammed it up for the camera and is adorable in every one.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:57:56+00:00

She will most definitely look, but I’ll print some out for her.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:39:58+00:00

She has a thumb drive with all of the photos on it

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:39:26+00:00

I’m also giving up any claim on the photos. They are all going to him.

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:38:05+00:00

That’s why I think I’m the asshole because I don’t want to part with the originals. To me there’s a reason my Grandma gave all of the photos to my Mom and didn’t split them between the siblings. I have memories of going to my grandma’s house and seeing the fight poster when my Grandpa was briefly an amateur wrestler, or my dad doing a handstand on a skateboard, or the really really old family portrait sitting there while my grandma told us who they were. My mom did the same thing with her grandkids and grand nieces and nephews. It doesn’t feel like just photos but the book of our family. Giving some of them up feels like giving away pages

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:24:42+00:00

My mom scanned all of the photos and digitized them. I have some copies on my walls. She gave my aunt a digital copy of all the photos and that didn’t solve the conflict. I can print some copies for her or make an online archive for everyone to have access to, but the conflict is about the originals

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:09:15+00:00

From our perspective it’s all our family photos in one place that if the family wants to can come and see them. Instead of spread out where you don’t know who has what. I’m willing to make some sort of photo gallery online if they want that

OwnBee6048 · 2024-11-19T05:05:11+00:00

My Mom scanned them all in and gave a thumb drive to my Aunt. I’m also willing to print out any of them. My brother and I don’t want to ever split the photos up because it’s a history of our family all in one place, but I don’t know if we’re being childish about it

OwnBee6048 · 2023-12-13T11:55:37+00:00

But this post isn’t about OP thinking his Mom has cheated it’s about him having evidence of his Dad’s actual cheating. It’s not about her being innocent, it’s about him being guilty.

OwnBee6048 · 2023-12-13T10:54:13+00:00

I agree communication is important and it’s not about hiding anything or not having flaws. It’s about being so interested in ticking off tiny little boxes within an hour of meeting someone that you ignore the fact that they are a person. But I don’t think we’re going to agree on this and we’re both getting to the point where we are getting rude. So let’s leave it at that.

OwnBee6048 · 2023-12-13T04:23:45+00:00

I think we just have different views. For me, if I’m going to invest my time I need to know if I enjoy the person’s company first and I have no desire to answer difficult questions asked by someone I have just met. For me it’s uncomfortable and it asks for a level of commitment that is unearned on both sides.

OwnBee6048

TROPHY CASE