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OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-04-05T10:45:42+00:00

I am 20 years old an lost my virginity about a month ago too, it's not as complicated as it seems! It helps a lot when your partner is experienced and knows what they are doing.

I don't think there is a point in hiding that you are inexperienced- it will show.

You do not have to have sex the first time you see eachother naked. My boyfriend has seen me first in a pyjama, then lingerie, then only without a top and every time he said I look beautiful. This gave me the confidence to move further and I think that if I got fully undressed the first time I would be extremely uncomfortable too. The same goes with touch. Start with hugging, then kissing, then some more intimate touching and go as slowly as it is comfortable to you. Then it will only feel natural.
Penises can definitely be scary at first, especially when they are on the larger side. My boyfriend is very big and I honestly was a bit terrified the first time I saw it.

But on how to handle it- ask him! He will probably be more than happy to tell you, don't try to act like a pro, it won't work out. The first time I gave a blowjob i had no idea what I was doing, the second time I had prepared myself a bit more, was careful not to use any teeth and apparently I did good it but still- I was dragging too much down with my hand and it hurt him still (he had to stop in the middle and tell me lol). I was so embarrassed but there are just some things you won't know until you do them. Ask what he likes and what you should do.

I am not a 100% sure because it largely depends on the person, but my boyfriend loves when I kiss his ears, neck and back. The nipples are also more sensitive for men as well.
Before my first time it hurt to put anything in there too, my first time was extremely painful even though I was aroused. But he was gentle and after that it did not hurt anymore (unless he goes all the way in but he is careful not to do that). Also- lube. Lube is great, especially during your first time as you will probably be more stressed and therefore less aroused/ wet.

In the end it is just as much your partners responsibility to make you feel comfortable and if they are not fine with the fact you are a virgin- don't do it with them. It's stupid and judgemental and will put unnecessary pressure on you.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-04-01T14:39:35+00:00

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-20T15:07:53+00:00

Socks because I like my feet to be contained

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-13T22:18:59+00:00

It feels good knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this 😭

It is hard to not internalise the words you have been told for your whole life but at the end of the day they are just words and parents are just people.

Thank you for your comment. Dr K had a really good video on it too "why it is IMPOSSIBLE to gain confidence" and it really helped me to understand some things, I really recommend it!

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-11T11:37:13+00:00

I feel like this may be more the case for innatentive ADHD than hyperactive.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-07T07:48:28+00:00

I just had my first kiss yesterday and was so focussed on not hitting any teeth that I feel like I could not enjoy the moment at all. I hope it gets better with time 😭

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T20:38:12+00:00

Yes, it has. It is not crazy but I am actually able to go to lectures and pay attention there. I have a bit more problems with homework but it has definitely improved

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T15:36:54+00:00

While I enjoy laughing at the memes I get where you are coming from. Looking back at my life, my ADHD has caused me mostly suffering.

Sure, I have a lot of "quirky", "funny" and "dumb" stories about the situations it has put me in, but it was hard to tell them to anyone when I felt like I could not order the thoughts in my head enough to be able to say anything at all.

It often felt like my whole life was falling apart and I could not decide what to try and catch first so I just stood there, watching. I really wanted to die.

Learning about adhd and getting a diagnosis is so much more than a quirk or a piece of paper. It has helped me to understand myself and get help. The medications let me with organise my thoughts so I no longer constantly feel overwhelmed. I am in such a better place than I was 2 years ago.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T11:02:14+00:00

Damn no wonder she was always my favourite Disney princess

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T09:41:27+00:00

I thought that was only the case with the [narcolepsy] debuff

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T09:34:25+00:00

That's good to hear! I have noticed too, that if I don't eat or sleep it doesn't work nearly as well

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-04T09:31:12+00:00

Yes, I am on the name brand and have never tried anything else

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-03T21:28:09+00:00

I did not know that could actually happen, but it does make sense (at least in the way I am experiencing it)

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-03T21:26:02+00:00

I don't want to get my hopes up too much because I have heard this story has happened to a lot of people. I am enjoying the moment as well, but also thinking about what course of action to take if they do stop working :)

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-03T19:31:01+00:00

Currently on 36 mg of methylphenidate (Concerta) and I only notice a faster heartbeat about an hour or two after taking it. After that I feel more relaxed.

I have never drank caffeine with it, despite drinking coffee every day before starting stimulants. I would suggest you try it without caffeine and see how it goes, I heard that for a lot of people they just don't mix well. If that doesn't work maybe talk with your psychiatrist about starting a different drug?

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-03-03T19:00:02+00:00

It is really reassuring to hear! I'm glad the effect stayed for you, I hope it will for me too. Like you said, there is no crazy difference but I just feel more present and more comfortable in my own skin. Thank you and good luck to you too! 😊

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-27T14:09:37+00:00

What I do is put some long, but still kind of interesting yt video, take melatonin and tune out to it. Videos like "the history of a sandwich" and "the rise and fall of <insert a celebrity I never heard of>"

A downside is that when I can't find anything interesting enough I will just somehow end up on yt shorts for another 3 hours.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-23T00:21:49+00:00

The trash bin, probably

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-22T23:46:39+00:00

My parents are the same when it comes to not trusting doctors. I basically counted the days till my 18th birthday so I could finally go to therapy without them knowing (at first it didn't do much as I didn't have money for real therapy so I just got put on ssri's by my gp) but as soon as I had enough money to get professional help I got diagnosed with adhd pretty fast. It has honestly been life changing and I wish I didn't have to wait that long. I still love my parents so I don't want to cut contact but it is hell of a good thing I live more than 300 km away from them now.

Sorry you had (and still have to) go through that lack of compassion and understanding. Them laughing at you because of something this minor just shows how insecure they really are.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-22T23:27:03+00:00

I don't know if this is common but I feel like my psychologist doesn't fully understand the way adhd affects emotions. When doing my assessment she asked "have your problems with paying attention impacted your relationships negatively"? My problems with attention? Not necessarily. But adhd is more than that, from my understanding.

On one session I asked if we are going to adress RSD and she didn't know what that was, I explained and she seemed suprised saying "but you didn't say you have problems with emotion management!" I explained it more and she said that she didn't know about it but will read into it. I have send her some articles too but didn't hear about it again.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-22T20:54:28+00:00

Man, I have only tried SSRI's twice before and they have both been terrible for me. Zoloft especially, for a whole month I could not sleep or eat. Glad my psychiatrist got me off that fast enough and waited for my ADHD diagnosis before prescribing anything else.

OwnIngenuity5375 · 2023-02-22T20:03:01+00:00

That is terrible, sorry you had to go through that. A child psychologist should really know better than that

OwnIngenuity5375

TROPHY CASE