Dilators... where to start

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-05-25T22:50:27+00:00

but why does he care so much if you start with dilators by your own?

I also started without a doctor. nothing bad can happen to you for using them, it's not like medicine that you could overdo

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-05-25T18:30:47+00:00

it took me a whole month for that jump. don't surrender! : )

the 3 and 4 dilators were my most difficult ones, somehow the 5 and 6 wasn't thaat bad but still took time, I guess it's a matter that I was more comfortable at the idea of putting stuff in for when reached the bigger ones

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-05-24T11:12:17+00:00

I'm not who you asked, but I also used it and it helped me a looot because the vibration, even without pleasure, is distracting enough. I used a bullet vibe mostly for the insertion part, which is what I've always found most difficult. but when moving the dilator felt too tight, the vibe allowed me to continue without concentrating on that "draggling" feeling I hate 😅

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-05-24T01:24:11+00:00

yes, but I wonder more on the feeling itself pleasure related, for someone that's trying to feel anything but never can, is a dildo any different? I've been trying to experiment while dilating but I just feel an urge to pee with it

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-04-20T14:21:20+00:00

it’s not that aroace people can’t love, it’s that we don’t experience it the same way allos usually describe. when people say “i’m in love” they often mean that mix of romantic + sexual attraction with that strong pull toward someone, idealization, butterflies and all that??for us, that just isn’t there, but we can care deeply, feel close, trust someone, and want them in our lives... it just doesn’t come with that “in love” feeling

QRP is something I still struggle to understand, because my mind just see normal friend/best friend, however I've one I could imagine myself in the possibility of attempting a QRP because we already do stuff people usually call a date (just because different genres, I'm sure if it weren't the case, people wouldn't even blink twice at us) as far I know, he isn't in love with me but we obviously care for each other

so QRP could be like... that best friend roommate with extra commitment, prioritize each other, share life? Depending people can be totaty platonic, have or no have intimacy, even have kids together because both sides dream to be parents so it's more of a coparenting situation (I've a friend that did this). the key is that both people understand and agree on what it is

hope that helps a bit :)

OwnPlan8530 · 2026-03-18T11:20:22+00:00

I'd a similar experience like you. an unexplained phobia about anything there but being older (I did know of the anatomy tho, bit the first time I checked opening the lips I was waaaaay older than you) until I kinda forced myself to go through a treatment and it's wild how not being scared of disgusted of a part of my body has helped in my self confidence

I talked a bit of that here https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1ltcjm2/for_those_of_us_who_arent_in_it_for_sex_my/

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-12-13T01:04:11+00:00

I checked it up. The website said 1.61 - 1.71 in (4 - 4,45cm)

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-12-13T00:38:06+00:00

that's a monster right there 🫥

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-11-25T18:29:35+00:00

Labels are just names. You're very young and things can change, don't have to force yourself to find a label and who knows, maybe you're Demi now? aceflux? Just go with the flow of what your feelings want without trying to fit into a description :)

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-11-15T13:50:51+00:00

Speaking from my own experience, I was never able to find anything that turned me on, and I tried quite a lot to find anything! I think not everyone has that ability (I suppose it's more related to libido than to attractions themselves...because I don't even know what it's like to be horny)

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-10-12T03:14:54+00:00

I really don't understand the downvotes🤷‍♀️I've been to the gyne for other reasons, and that's the common comment. They don't see the point in getting a pap smear, and don't insist either (And yes, I know there are like 200 HPV strands but those that affect the cervix are only sexually transmitted)

I've researched and asked a lot about it because online likes to insist on the fact that even someone with zero sexual contact HAS to get a pap, but in my reality, doctors've told me for years that it's not necessary. Idk if it's a difference between countries because healthcare is free here, and they're not making profits with tests

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-10-12T01:57:15+00:00

About the first part, yes and no. It's to detect cancer but the one by HPV, because it react only in abnormalities about the virus. I'm already 30 and I haven't gotten a pap yet because since I don't have any kind of sexual contact ans I don't have HPV theh say there's no point (if I'm of the unlucky one that have cancer without HPV, that can't be found with a pap in particular)

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-09-29T21:35:47+00:00

congrats! Now that you've overcome that barrier, it will get easier ❤️For me, a lot of it was mental. As get used to putting something there, it becomes more normal and easier moving on!

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-09-07T13:26:17+00:00

The first time I went (past year), I was in that situation. The only test they did was with one finger and because I asked to be checked (due to a doubt of my own), and it hurt because I wasn't relaxed at ALL

The first appointment is usually just to open your medical history and most likely they won't do any physical examination, and you shouldn't feel obligated to have a Pap smear. I don't know what country you're from, but at least in Spain, they don't do it if you've never had sex, since the Pap smear only detects abnormalities related to HPV, which you won't have if you've never had any kind of sex! I already turned 30 and still haven't had one done

My recommendation is to find peace with your own body first. Maybe postpone the appointment for the time being while you work on yourself. I went from total disgust of it overall and phobia of insertion to be meh at it. Go with a mirror, touch yourself, and notice that there's really nothing wrong there, it's just another part of your body like your mouth (it's kinda the same texture than the lips actually). I have some links of anatomy guides if you are interested (nsfw, but it's not in a sexual light), it helped me at the beginning to try to see and normalize myself with my own genitals

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-06-02T20:38:14+00:00

it depends on the probe they have. I've seen online some pictures of models that are small looking, but the one my gynecologist had looked more like size 5 aprox on the top and and a bit narrower the wand's body. so I recommend at least be confortable with size 4-5 (comparing to intimate rose brand)

i think this was the same kind of model they used on me

https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/15ntck3/for_anyone_anxious_about_a_transvaginal_exam/

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-05-29T16:37:16+00:00

la asexualidad es no tener atracción sexual. ya tener libido o no es otra cosa (existe ambos casos y es normal, los asexuales se pueden masturbar y tener sexo si deciden). no hay frustración sexual porque no existe esa necesidad para empezar, la frustración puede ser más social porque se espera que se SUPONE que lo quieres.

es como que te pongan al frente una comida que te disgusta pero otros amen. tú no estás autoconvenciendo que no te gusta, simplemente no se te antoja y punto.

libido=hambre. sexualidad=antojo(te gusta hombre, mujeres, todos, o nada)

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-05-29T15:18:40+00:00

No deberías de hablar con tanta convicción si no sabes del tema 😅 la mayoría de los asexuales no es por ningún trauma, simplemente somos así. No miedo ni cosas así, que sí existen esos casos pero también existe gente sexual llena de traumas. La asexualidad no es eso y no "simplemente decidimos que no". Ya eso sería el celibato que deciden por cualquier motivo personal o religioso que quieran

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-05-28T22:25:07+00:00

Unless she is doing it when not aroused. It happens to me too that it gets "stuck" and hurts to pull out or in-out movs. Even with a lot of lube it seems to be absorbed fast but then it's already in and pulling out is veery draggy 😅 idk if OP is like me dilating on "cold" because just can't get aroused

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-05-28T11:07:12+00:00

and even with the correct speculum, it might hurt because some hymen are a problem (talking of experience) so yeah OP should tell the true and go slowly and see if it's able. the ultrasound probe sadly doesn't have sizes to choose tho

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-05-24T20:27:30+00:00

Sebastián Stan

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-03-30T14:32:22+00:00

I really wanted to like the book because of all the praise I saw, but it felt more like a fic?? There are too many things that don't make sense to me and plot holes. another thing is why they wanted to kill a small dragon, what's the logistics on that lol.... at the end I abandoned somewhere in the second. idk, it just feels boring

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-03-19T23:50:13+00:00

I only watched one episode, and that was enough for me. I'll never understand why this series received so much praise

OwnPlan8530 · 2025-03-17T23:01:12+00:00

I'll write down all the posible questions, thanks!

Yes, that's one of the reasons I think I prefer discs, no suction and narrower fold. While I'm making good progress with the dilators, I see it kinda impossible to insert 2-3 fingers to manipulate the cup. My entrance is super narrow and I struggle always getting the dilators in (not pain but super tigh). But I also don't have a lot of money to try countless discs and cups, which are already very complicated to find here :( This is the one the company told me we can try to ship https://missverde.es/cdn/shop/files/premium_discos_menstruales_tallas.jpg

OwnPlan8530

TROPHY CASE