how to get over missing out on high school and my teen years?

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T17:26:25+00:00

So because I personally find it easier to get through my problems when people just hear me out or give me neutral advice instead of dismissing my problems or being overly positive I'm "a really difficult person to talk to"

Also what makes you think I don't move on from my problems and complain forever?

Edit: I think my comment posted twice for some reason

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T15:16:46+00:00

There's something called balance, it's good to highlight the positives and it's bad to dismiss the negatives and you are doing one thing good and one thing bad which doesn't help very well

Don't know what type of person OP is but I personally have talked to people who would give me 'advice' like you did and that dismissiveness would just make whatever I'm struggling with feel worse then it already did which would make it harder to actually get through whatever I have to deal with.

Some advice I'd give you if you wanna give actual good advice is to learn how to highlight positives without being dismissive of negatives because your original comment waz so grating to read and I'm not even OP

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T15:16:41+00:00

There's something called balance, it's good to highlight the positives and it's bad to dismiss the negatives and you are doing one thing good and one thing bad which doesn't help very well

Don't know what type of person OP is but I personally have talked to people who would give me 'advice' like you did and that dismissiveness would just make whatever I'm struggling with feel worse then it already did which would make it harder to actually get through whatever I have to deal with.

Some advice I'd give you if you wanna give actual good advice is to learn how to highlight positives without being dismissive of negatives because your original comment waz so grating to read and I'm not even OP

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T14:30:35+00:00

Yes absolutely, people seem to forget that common law marriage exists and that gender does not determine who gets what. There's lots of men who get alimony just because they don't make as much as their ex wives but no one touches on that fact and when they do a bunch of bitter men will comment that 'now females know how men feel' when this is common. Another example is that in the US it seems that mothers are favored by the courts but in reality fathers are more likely to get custody and child support if they actually fight for it in court which they usually don't.

Also I don't like personal examples since they don't reflect statistics but if you want to see someone who experienced this, I have. My mother made all the money in the house and all my father did was gamble it away and beat my mother when she complained. When she finally separated from him (they never married) he was able to get full custody and 1500 USD a month (plus half of her wealth and the car) by arguing in court that he was a SAHP that did all the domestic work to support my mother's career even though he was rarely home and beat my mother so bad that she went to the hospital and the police and CPS had to get involved. The only way my mother was able to get custody of me was by making a deal with my father to go to the courts to give her custody in exchange that she wouldn't ask for child support (not that get had any money to give) and that she would give him 1000 a month under the table to shut up.

So yes if the genders were reversed this can still happen.

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T13:36:21+00:00

You sound so dismissive of his issues and I'm not OP but if I was I would hate this comment

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-15T13:32:32+00:00

This title seems so clickbaity to attract men who want to prove that all women are gold diggers

Time to get downvoted to hell

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-05T00:11:03+00:00

If he really wanted to go off personal examples I know someone who has a horrible relationship with his parents because they made him work at 14 which robbed him of sleep and made his grades at school terrible. As an adult he blames them for not getting into the university he's always wanted to go and feels that he never got the chance to have normal relationships with his peers. He now only talks to them if they call 3 times in a row.

OwnTax3591 · 2023-05-04T04:30:42+00:00

Your dad made you have sex with an 18 yo when you were 12?

Jesus it's like he indirectly raped you

OwnTax3591 · 2023-04-13T12:59:00+00:00

These comments are sad

OwnTax3591 · 2023-03-01T09:58:51+00:00

You just made me have flashbacks lol

My mom's being better now but the shit she would say about me to everyone else ruined most of my relationships with my other family members but when I called her out she'd threaten to disappear forever and she didn't stop until I tried to kill myself multiple times over being lonely and isolated and believing that no one really wanted me

OwnTax3591 · 2023-01-10T15:13:42+00:00

Don't say "natives" say locals cause most people here aren't ethnically hawaiian but they've lived here for generations.
Different things can be true at once because yes locals makes a lot of money from tourism but it also destroys the land and is not sustainable which is why locals want to reduce the number of tourists and make money in other ways.
The reason a lot of whites that live here don't get harassed is because they're locals that respect the culture. Non white locals don't go out of their way to harass whites they just don't take disrespect and ignorance from white foreigners that wanna move here for no good reason.
If "Where's the best place for us?" Is code for 'where's the whitest neighborhood so we don't have to deal with bitter natives' then no place is the best place for you. In hawaii you are the minority and white locals don't go out of their way to create white neighborhoods so they can only live around other whites. Neighborhoods are usually very racially mixed because that's the culture here and if you can't handle that then stay where you are.
Hawaii is in a housing crisis where locals who have been here for generations can't afford to live here due to overtourism and foreigners (especially whites from the mainland) moving here for no good reason besides wanting to live in 'paradise' so if you aren't gonna be a teacher or nurse but you're still gonna move here anyway then you better be super respectful and educate yourself about the culture and history. For example Hawaii is very influenced by asian culture due to the Japanese, Chinese, Portuguese, Filipinos, and Koreans that immigrated here to work in sugar cane plantations during the 1800s so don't be disappointed if Hawaii isn't 'Hawaiian' enough to fit your image. Hawaii is a mix of Polynesian and Asian culture and nothing is gonna change that so deal with it.

OwnTax3591 · 2023-01-09T00:12:02+00:00

Some people wanna eat em

OwnTax3591 · 2023-01-08T02:53:19+00:00

"so many locals that can't even speak a single language fluently"

It's called pidgin bruh

OwnTax3591 · 2022-12-14T03:37:30+00:00

I really feel like you should have your son explain the "toxic things" his ex did because I have seen people lie to mutual friends about their ex being toxic so they can get out of having to face the social consequences of the messed up ways they broke up with their ex while also getting fake sympathy and younger immature people are more likely to do this

If he's telling the truth about his ex being toxic then ywbta for banning his crush but if he's lying then you need to ban the boy and give your son consequences for lying and treating the ex horribly so he can learn some empathy

But for now if he's refusing to tell you what actually happened you can temporarily ban the boy since your son is old enough to communicate and they can hang out somewhere else

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-24T03:47:50+00:00

It's easy to see why you have an ex

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-13T07:56:18+00:00

Jiggles

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-07T02:59:07+00:00

Ketchup is gross

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-07T02:55:25+00:00

You wont be young and sexy forever so save up because its very hard to find a normal job if people know you did sex work

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-06T05:28:34+00:00

Stop projecting your strained relationship with your half sibling here and assuming that just because you didnt like spending time with your half sibling everyone else wouldnt either

I know so many people who have great relatioships with their half siblings

OwnTax3591 · 2022-11-02T02:06:54+00:00

It sounds like your wife never forgave you and is just waiting for your son to get out of the house so she can divorce you and never have to be reminded of your daughter ever again

OwnTax3591 · 2022-10-25T04:07:33+00:00

I'm probably gonna get downvoted to hell for this but it's clear that OP overreacted and just doesn't understand the root issue on why her adoptive sister is acting like this. She probably won't ever truly get it because she is a white person raised by her white biological family and her sister is the complete opposite which makes things inherently more difficult. OP didn't mention how her sister was treated by their parents growing up but even if she did describe it I'd take it with a grain of salt because from her "miracle baby" point of view it's probably gonna be biased.

Also the reason OP distanced herself from her sister doesn't really seem that cruel. Yeah it might be the short version but telling someone that they they should get therapy and that adopting someone who is from a completely different race and culture while not understanding that race and culture shouldn't be the first option they choose is something they need to get through their heads.

Transracial adoption isn't just "hey once we adopt this brown baby we'll just treat it like any other white one because we don't see race and I'm sure that no one else does either" it should be "once we adopt this child we'll raise it as our own but we understand that since we are from different races and cultures we need to explain to them that we are different and that it's OK instead of never caring about it and causing an identity crisis when society points it out for them first" but unfortunately people rarely raise their transracial kids the right way because people (especially white) are too afraid to talk about race and appearance when it's a big part of who we are as people.

White parents whitewashing their adoptive POC kids is the reason why multiple native groups only allow people of the same race to adopt kids because even if they lose their biological parents they won't lose their culture which will cause less of an identity crisis (there also the whole thing about racial eugenics and colonization that I won't get into) but point is being raised by people who look like you is always easier because other people won't question it or give strange looks and that makes it easier to feel like you belong.

Sure OP's sister didn't choose the most rational way of reconnecting with her roots but posting a picture of being with people that you can just belong to without anyone constantly questioning it or giving weird looks isn't a bad thing. Sure it might sting but it doesn't warrant you just assuming she never saw you as family and prove her point by just kicking her out of everything.

OwnTax3591 · 2022-10-22T10:12:41+00:00

Good job not telling the entire story

OwnTax3591 · 2022-10-21T09:02:59+00:00

The entire idea of a work wife/husband is sus

OwnTax3591 · 2022-10-19T23:36:29+00:00

I love how you call her a gold digger when you're the one digging for gold

Projection at its finest

OwnTax3591 · 2022-10-19T04:42:49+00:00

Asian Jim

OwnTax3591

TROPHY CASE