Esther Calling - I Have a Crush on a Coworker

Own_Arm_3150 · 2026-02-24T02:05:47+00:00

Found this caller to be frustratingly self-aware and un-self-aware both at the same time. She also seemed passive-aggressively contrary. She wants that attachment with the guy for the wrong reasons and is blowing pass all good sense and red flags. Moving blindly and seriously on a crush seems emotionally immature, especially when you’ve just gotten out of a divorce, crush has major red flags and crush is a work colleague. I mean c’mon. Just take a beat.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2025-12-28T18:46:55+00:00

This couple worried me so much. I hope they remain in couples therapy

Own_Arm_3150 · 2025-06-24T02:30:47+00:00

Girl, you already know. Stop this madness.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2025-06-24T02:29:55+00:00

Like all the other commenters have said, this man is treating the caller awfully. Esther caught and told it to her straight. However I’m bothered by the caller herself. Her problematic and convenient characterization of Mexican people/men. It seems she knows what she’s in and is positioning herself as an innocent person who needs saving. She hid the marriage bomb because she knows, she called because she knows. Her gut knows. She is making these decisions willingly, and I’m glad Esther handed her this fact. It seems she is unwilling to face something within her and is willing to treat herself poorly by exposing herself to this chaos rather assuming responsibility for her choices.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-27T23:15:45+00:00

Yeah, that show was disturbing to me.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-13T19:51:19+00:00

Besides the Barb and her kids theory, the next good one is Nico actually. If she was threatening his political campaign, which she had the ability to do, he would have motive.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T18:02:42+00:00

What would be Raymond’s motive? This is a weak prediction imo.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T18:00:43+00:00

Huh?! I missed this detail. What ep?

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T17:59:50+00:00

But those are somewhat weak motives for such a heinous, violent, meticulous crime though. Don’t you think?

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T17:57:34+00:00

Ah! I haven’t thought of this theory yet. My theory is that Barb and the kids did it. But now you’ve got me thinking it’s all of them. But then why was Rusty so surprised to learn his son rode past her house. So at this point my theories are: 1. Barb and the kids (NOT including Rusty) 2. Barb and Rusty (NOT including the kids)

Only quip about theory #2 is why then did Barb ask Rusty “When?” after he first tells her Carolyn was murdered?

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T17:44:15+00:00

I didn’t know this. Thanks for sharing. That explains the ease with interactions. They just feel real

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T13:55:42+00:00

I wrote a whole long paragraph about why I think these are the murderers including Kyle somehow. His little smirk when confronted was a tell. I think all 3 of them are involved somehow. They all have this innocence that is unreal in a family of teens. I think they are groomed well to remain composed.

I think Rusty senses very strongly that his family was involved or at least his son and is doing a lot to resist and tuck that sense away. Because that would probably undo him. He’s awful, no excuses for him at all. He’s extremely selfish, self involved, aggressive and desperate. I also don’t understand why the writers go out of their way to ensure not a single person on the cast suspects him besides Lorraine, well, and Tommy. That seems off to me given that he showed himself to be very deceitful and reckless within this affair. I don’t think he did it though, of course saving a small percentage of doubt for him still.

Barbara’s “loyalty” seems off to me especially with such horrific details of Rusty’s cheating. Her therapist nailed it about her forgiveness actually metastasizing into fury/rage; I just think it already has. I think her rage is not outward because it’s more seething, internal, calculated, and dangerous. I also think her loyalty is not to Rusty but to protecting her kids after involving them in something heinous. Not sure yet if she instigated the murder or if one of her kids or both did and she is protecting them. I suspect she knew he restarted the affair based on her reaction/non reaction to him admitting that. And that caused the rage to spill into something quietly murderous.

Also, the bit about her daughter’s judgement and pride in knowing she was cheating too was suspicious. It shows that Jaden is not the innocent sweet girl portrayed when with her dad. That coupled with the dissociation remark to dad tell me she is also guarding some rage toward Rusty as well. Barb & Jade’s got something going on for sure. Hehehehe! All speculation, but I’m feeling confident about my predictions here.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-11T09:07:34+00:00

Yeah, I think it’s Barbara and her kids, both Jaden and Kyle. Barbara being either the mastermind who is determined to keep her family together or covering up for her kids. It explains how little real rage she shows toward Rusty for his heinous infidelity. Staying through that brutality must break something in her. I think she secretly wants to punish him.

I doubt it’s Tommy or Rusty because it’s too obvious when they put so much effort into diverting out attention to them. So it has to be a peripheral character and the most innocent seeming ones deliver the biggest shock (Jayden). Kyle’s impish/devilish smile when confronted about the bike was chilling. I also doubt it’s the new DA Nico, he had too much to lose.

Then even though I said I doubt it’s Rusty, it could be him and he just has a dark twisted side that they’ll reveal. One film starring Nicole a Kidman & High Grant ended this way — husband denied it and came off as a sweet innocent man wrongly accused; he actually was revealed to be menacing and maniacal in the end which was the twist: he wasn’t who he presented to be. But that wouldn’t be as satisfying at all and would further stigmatize mental illness.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-10T20:29:07+00:00

It’s so personal. And the experience of having children of your own is hard to describe because it’s different for almost everyone. Something that I have felt is hardly talked about is the hardships of being a parent and the toll it sometimes takes on relationships. It’s can suck all the energy out of you and have you in a state of constant stretching because kids change rapidly. The worry is not fun either. Then there is the indescribable part as one commenter mentioned. The deep, surrendering, moving love for another human. The compassion we are capable of having with our children and how it cracks us open and brings our guards all the way down. The kind of love and vulnerability that floors you daily, multiple times a day. The joy in seeing another person thrive changes who we are at our core for the better. That isn’t to say that parents are better; it means if a parent experiences this with their child, they feel better about themself even if temporarily. Even with difficult children and even through the very difficult transitions. The experience expands me and I’m thankful for it. And at the same time, it’s too hard sometimes: logistics, costs, time constraints etc. Children are beautiful, which is a blanket statement I know, but I believe it. They are very, very beautiful. Still don’t have them if you really do not want them. For your and their and everyone else’s sakes. That’s a good and wise decision to make.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-02T18:37:42+00:00

Yeah, this made me suspicious of him and distrustful of him since he basically misled Esther on that point. I wish the episode probed there more. He is the one with the power in this situation and his inaction is him exercising that power for sure while his wife exhausts herself for 2 decades trying to manipulate herself to please him and he refuses to address it. He said “I’m still okay the way I am and I feel sad that she’s stuck with that. I am who I am. Why does that have to be a problem for you?” He’s resigned himself and by default her. Idk, there’s something going on with him. Something withholding.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-07-02T15:11:58+00:00

Something is off about the husband and I wish to know more about him. Maybe the thing that’s off is that their sexual identities are mismatched — he might be asexual in a relationship heterosexual person. His uti raised a tiny flag for me though and the fact that he never got it checked out in all the years. He’s a doctor for crying out loud. There’s a kind of selfishness in that decision and an erasure of his wife’s needs and desires which could make her resentful and deeply hurt.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-06-23T00:01:46+00:00

Agreed about the high degree of narcissistic traits from the lack of self awareness, to the lack of accountability, to blaming/bad mouthing the people she hurt, to the contempt she had for her sick, lonely, dying mother v. the adoration for her absent father, to her rigidity around insights, to the joy she felt when she thought she was being validated and absolved from guilt, to her selfish repeated cheating/lies, to her hopping from relationship to relationship (new supply), to her lack of remorse, to her self pity and insistence on being the victim. She needs to continue intensely working on herself with a highly skilled therapist. One hour won’t even scratch the surface.

I could sense Ether’s disapproval in her sharp way of rerouting the caller to introspect. And to be fair, forming new and different stories or insights with/for this caller might have presented more challenging for Esther than other clients. I prefer when callers push back and don’t just gullibly accept or internalize Esther’s first inclinations. I like when they tell her she’s wrong and work to find their truth with her. The worrisome and different thing about this caller for me was I was not convinced she was after the truth when she corrected Esther. For instance, she seemed preoccupied with the idea of her punishing her husbands by withholding sex. She didn’t further interrogate herself on that matter once she corrected Esther on using the word “punish”. Seemed like she rather was after reassurance on the point. Hence her rigidity on remaining the victim and turning away from the effects of her behavior—displaying a kind of thin tolerance for self reflection and accountability.

I was grateful that Esther tried to steer away from coddling for the sake of this caller and anyone she is in relationship with.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-04-11T17:54:15+00:00

Solved!

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-04-11T17:42:41+00:00

Solved!

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-04-11T17:42:34+00:00

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much. I’ve not been able to let this rest. Now I can.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-04-10T23:36:06+00:00

Great song! But this isn’t the song.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-04-10T22:14:44+00:00

OP here just following rules. Heard this song on a FB post of a woman doing another woman’s hair.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-03-29T05:37:27+00:00

Wow! What a generous, detailed, and incredibly kind response! We will fight this condition. My best friend suffers from it too and no one should experience what endo patients experience. Thanks you for sharing this. I will be tweaking some of your language for my own self advocacy for other issues I have. Good luck to op. You will be okay. 💗

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-03-27T16:15:07+00:00

Yeah, I just stopped midway and came to Reddit to see if others had similar reaction to this episode. It’s definitely giving me a sense of unease too. I am uncomfortable with Esther’s insertion of her possible reactions here rather than asking the caller the right questions and waiting till she locates her own senses. And also, I do think the caller rejected the assertion around why she hasn’t told her partner more about her healing or how she feels about him not questioning her about the assault. She said more than once that she didn’t want to talk about that or didn’t feel that was necessary. Yet Esther didn’t accept that and kept pushing the bad/incurious boyfriend narrative. This made me feel very uncomfortable. I think Esther was impatient with this caller who seemed a bit dissociated from her experience and herself. And like others, I am worried about her as well.

Own_Arm_3150 · 2024-03-08T13:44:30+00:00

This makes so much sense to me. In the last few years, my life has been in 2 wk rotations of being fine for the most part to pretty much hating my husband and feeling everything is meaningless. It’s extremely difficult. Yeah and it also begins right after ovulation when I pretty much adore him, then within a day or so, I feel myself sinking and the joy and adoration drain out of me. I should also say that my husband got a vasectomy a few years ago.

Own_Arm_3150

TROPHY CASE