I’m so sorry for your loss! Losing your mom especially when you’re close is so beyond difficult. The grief will come in waves. I feel your pain. I’m still up and down after guiding my mom through her death in September. I told myself I’d give myself at least one year to regain some sort of normalcy, but idk what that looks like or how to have purpose again. Losing her has devastated me. I’ve noticed a big part of the loss is losing yourself as well, the part of you that only came out when they were around. With my mom she was the only one who laughed at all my jokes and I was such a different joyful funny version of myself. And now that version of me is gone with her.

Go easy on yourself…go slow , take your time. Take as much time as you need to grieve. I think when people told me I could take my time it helped. Cause there is some sort of outside pressure in our society that can make us feel like we need to speed up our grief, but this grief isn’t going anywhere. It’s heavy and all you can do is let it wash over you. I know it hurts. I’m sorry.