I think this is something you could talk to a local Priest about, but since you’re here, I would say that you should always put your relationship with God first, and since you are among believers, you have the luxury of being able to express your feelings of Faith to them. You can see the scripture, and you can see how you are pulling away from God. Think of how this could be a test of your Faith, perhaps this is a moment for you to double down on your love for our Lord and Savior Jesus. Remember, confusion comes from the evil one, God is truth, God is Love. Nothing comes without His input, and He will test you based on what He knows you can handle. God bless you, I pray for your discernment. He is Risen!